I really do believe I have found the one that seriously compliments me. Not completes me. But he does add to my well being!

You know, I told my husband that I loved him but that I didn't need him. He was shocked. I explained to him that a need is something you have to have by any means necessary. (food, water, etc.) My life doesn't end if he deceided not to be with me and my life did not begin with him. I told him that I was a whole person before he came into my life and with him I am still a whole person. We, as women, sometimes wait for someone so our life can begin. If you are living and breathing, well...you have life. I was single and enjoyed going out by myself. I know I sound like Oprah or something right now, but I just feel like as women we are so strong and we lose our dayum minds when a man comes in the picture. Be happy and love YOU first.

While I won't say that a mate can complete you, I do think that when you are with a person for a very long time, then they become a part of you (in a sense). Here we say, "My mate only compliments me, but I'm complete as I am." Yet if we were talking to a widow/widower, then we'd completely understand what they meant by saying "I feel like I've lost a part of myself" or "A part of me is missing". I don't think that these two things have to be mutually exclusive. True, you should be independent and able to love yourself and stand on your own, and all of that. However, I don't think that there is anything wrong with feeling connected to your spouse/mate, growing to depend/rely on them to a normal extent, getting joy/happiness from them, etc. This is what I think of when I think of the phrase "You complete me." I think that a mate does provide 'something' that you cannot provide to yourself. It doesn't mean that you don't love yourself or are missing something, etc. It just means that they are bringing something different to the table; just like you are bringing that back to them. This shouldn't be a bad thing. As Chrisitians we already know that Eve was scuplted from Adam's rib, so it seems that we are meant to be a part of/and connected to our mates. I don't think that you have to sacrafice your self-love, respect, worth, independence, etc to do this.

I totally agree with Marie.

Marie, I agree with your statement. You summed up well how I feel. I don't feel like saying that someone completes something in me is not showing a love of myself - I'm just being real with myself. I loved going out by myself and still do. Shoot, I have gone away for whole weekends to spa resorts just to get some peace and be by myself. And go out to dinner, etc. by myself all the time. At the same time, I would be just blowing smoke if I didn't say that I didn't feel so connected to my man (who was also my best friend at one point in my life) that he brings something to me that I can't bring by myself so I feel you. I also do believe that, as you said, G-D made us to complement each other. I wonder if Eve and Adam would think that the other completed them. Who knows.

I guess that I separate being needy from what I consider to be me humbling up and acknowledging that he brings something to my life that I cannot have w/out him being in my life. Perhaps it is a complement, perhaps a completion, not sure.

SC