This is not a cop out but people are not informed of the "obvious" signs. Like alcohol poisioning, this is something that happens on every campus but is rarely discussed in an open forum until something happens. Also the signs are different for every person because of their chemical makeup. People are not heartless. They don't feel comfortable making judgement calls because they are not qualified. They may not even be aware of the resources available to their particular campus.

Keep in mind there is still quite a stigma attached when it's suspected and confirmed that someone might have mental health problems.

Optimist Prime, I'm glad your brothers were there for you.

AGDee, I'm so sorry for your families loss.

I used to think "it's only PMS" until I had an episode off-cycle.

All I can say now is thank God(dess) one of my best friends was with me and intervened when she did. She encouraged me to get help, and I did. I was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder type II, which is now being treated with medication and therapy.

What wrigley said about the stigma of mental illness...many disorders have their onset in young adulthood, but aren't diagnosed until years later--or it's too late.

Let's work together to remove the stigma of mental illness so that we can prevent such tragedy from happening in the future.

You guys misinterpreted.. I didn't blame myself at all. His brother and cousin, and I'm sure his girlfriend were all questioning. I was the one who was telling people that there was no blame and probably no answer to the "why" question.

In Spring of 2004, there was a Beta Theta Pi pledge that lived in my dorm that jumped out of his 9th story window, falling to his death. It was very sad. Many of my best friends lived in the same hall as him, so I had talked to him many times.

This was younger than college but...in my junior year of high school a girl in my class killed herself. She was one of the most well-liked people in the class, always had a smile on her face every time I saw her, and was way involved with things. Yet one day she shot herself in a field not far from school...a student who was walking to school through that field found her the next morning. :eek: The news stunned everyone.

There is a very nice tree planted on the campus of the middle school our children attended in memory of a member of our middle daughter's class who committed suicide.

One of my sorority sisters, Dori, killed herself when I was at school. She had taken a full load of classes AND was president of the student chapter of the Amer Mktg Assn (which was huge at Penn State). She was a dear girl (if a little driven and perfectionist) and deeply loved by us all.

Over Christmas break, she went to a job fair, saw the hundreds of other applicants, and broke down, not returning to school in January. She started third trimester in the Spring, but didn't complete it. If you looked into her eyes, she no longer seemed "there"; many of use were worried about her, but knew her family was closeknit and was aware of the problems.

That semester, she went over to her sister's house, got in one of the cars, and let it run with the garage doors closed.

Her rabbi said something to keep in mind if someone close to you committs suicide, and you didn't pick up on the symptoms. He said that we can't know what's going on in someone else's mind -- that thinking that "I should have seen it coming" is like playing God. Not that you don't make yourself aware of the symptoms, or try to intervene if you see something that looks wrong. But if you don't see symptoms, or if you saw them, and weren't able to prevent the person from taking her own life, you attribute Godly Powers to your own little mortal self, and think "I should have know what was going on in their head."

That is SO true!! I think everyone should know the danger signs and know of at least 2 places to get assistance/resources...but some suicidal people are really GOOD at hiding it. If they have truely thought that suicide was their only option and they were comfortable with that decision, no one will ever know. We can only do so much....

My sympathies to all who have lost someone to suicide. I've lost 4 people that I knew to suicide...some were closer to me than others. All affected me profoundly.

PsychTau

A lot of time if you see the symptoms of suicide . . the person isn't actually suicidaly but rather seeking attention . ..

Its a wierd thing because what people think is suicidal behavior often is not.

How very true, unfortunately.

I started feeling "not myself" in late adolescence, and it wasn't until I was in my late 20s and some things in my life started feeling awry that I finally was diagnosed with depression.

What's horrible about depression (and probably other disorders) is you can *always* (usually) attribute some of its symptoms to something else...I never would've dreamed in a million years I was depressed! I just thought I felt the way I did because:

I was tired
I had a stressful job
My life was too fast-paced so I had no energy
I just "didn't like" going out as much as other people
I just needed a good night's sleep
I was irritated because other people were frustrating me
I wasn't happy with my romantic relationship
I hated where I lived
I felt temporarily "overwhelmed" and it would pass
Etc...etc...etc...you fill in the blank!!

Admittedly, those are all legitimate reasons to feel unhappy with life, but depression is sneaky and you think "Well if A, B, or C just happens, then I'll feel better." But whether or not those things happen, you still don't feel good. You have to treat the depression first, and then maybe you'll feel better about A, B, or C!

Sadly, I have found that those who seem to struggle the most are the MOST LIKELY to be in denial about it and the LEAST LIKELY to get or seek help - perhaps due to the stigma of mental health mentioned earlier, who knows? It's just frustrating to see that happen. I don't really care if others know it's something I've struggled with. In fact, if the appropriate opportunity presents itself, I'll mention it, and someone will usually pull me aside later and ask me questions or want to talk about it, so it's nice to try to be helpful that way.