I really don't think anyone here has any real animosity towards anyone in the GLBT community.

As for Rudey, I think he was joking that he would want to watch two chicks together, not necessarily have a threesome. Obviously isn't any better, but that's what I got from it. I really don't think it's meant to be taken seriously.

I don't read anything in this thread that is meant to be hurtful or homophobic.

Yes but what if the poster who made the comments does in fact identify as LBGTQ?

Why are you making assumptions about the sexual orienation of the people who have posted in this thread? Also, there is a huge difference between saying "whatever you folks call yourself" and "whatever else you classifiy yourself" -- the latter is, in my opinion, clearly intended to be inclusive, while the former is intended to poke fun or show disrespect.

It really sounds like you have a huge chip on your shoulder and are looking for trouble where none is intended, although I'll agree that threesome jokes are stupid.

I do think that she realizes that, because (I think) she is one.


(I also think that assuming that someone is straight because of the tone of what they posted is more damaging and, uh, insulting than any of the other comments in this thread. But hey, what do I know?)

Valkrie & Sugar and Spice,

I'm not making assumptions that any one besides Rudey is straight:).

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And I don't have a chip on my shoulder nor am I looking for trouble where there is none. I guess what I am saying is that in my opinion, unless you are speaking to a group that you know is homogeneous, it is not okay to make certain kind of statements. And trust me, I know some homophobic LGBTQ people (yes they exist) and I know that for those people it is a developmental issue more than anything else. They make inappropriate comments and statements too. All I'm saying is that even when those things are said in a joking manner, they are not funny and can be interpreted as offensive by people who are out and they should be; and can be interpreted as homophobic by people who have yet to come out and they should be.

PM_Mama00 is correct about what I was trying to say. I don't think that in and of themselves those words are bad-IF the people who call themselves that are the ones labeling or calling themselves that. Most LBGTQ people are not trying to put themselves out there though in a way that draws negative attention to themselves-LGBTQ people get enough negative attention as it is. That’s why so many are closeted because they fear that once they do come out, the comments will begin, and often times even worse than that.

But not knowing people personally, I can't make an assumption that the comments are coming from a good or bad place. I do know that it is inflammatory-particularly when people make comments like Rudey's intending to be funny-but really ending up just being in poor taste. And it would have been just as easy to say Happy belated coming out day as it was to say happy belated coming [out] day to all of the dykes, homieo- sexuals and whatever else you classifiy yourself (and less words/time). sorry, but as an ally, when I see that I read more into it. I can make a few assumptions about the intent of the words-but this would fall under a category I call "intent versus impact". Her intent may have been to send out positive greetings, but the impact is what people are left with and the impact for marginalized communities is what matters. And for me-it had a not so good impact.

And again, like I said, this is my response based on the "tone" [that I interpreted in reading some of the posts.

These are my opinions, nothing more. I guess like they say-if it doesn't apply let it fly.

But you did make a pretty big assumption when you said that posters were homophobic...

What I meant by that statement was that there is no real way for me to know if the comments were coming from a straight person or a person who identifies as LGBTQ (except to make an assumption). No matter who it comes from, the statements are still homophobic.

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. As 33girl stated earlier, many groups have taken words that were originally demeaning and neutralized them, making them their own. It all depends on context.