I couldn't have said it any better so I'm not going to even try and I'm just going to agree wholeheartedly.

And another thing, if you wanted this group so bad why didn't you get recs from the people you know in the first place (not that it would guaranteed anything)? Even if you didn't know you wanted that group, you should have gotten recs for them.

And I will reiterate, why would a sorority take you (who lacked commitment and depledged after 3 weeks) over a freshman?

I am going to be as honest as I can.....

You need to get your head out of the clouds about your first choice...IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, you are going to USC...even though you know that 1 person who got a second bid at whatever house.....what makes you think its going to happen to you?

You can not be close with every single person in your house, it would be great if you could, but again, slim to none. You need to focus on a few people who are you comfortable with, those ladies will be your core. You will still call all the ladies in the house your sisters, but these women will be your core group.

I need to ask you something...how much of an effort have you made to make friends, to find your niche?

Its been 3 weeks, I know NM periods are "short" but you need more time to really "feel it".

You can read my story somewhere on this board, but I will tell you this, the house that I got into was not my first choice, but as someone put it, it was my best choice, I threw myself into it, I thought I had a really close friend, but things changed really quickly, but I did find my core group and those ladies showed me what sisterhood is about and I will be grateful to them forever.

I know you know all the platitudes about how each house is great and unique and have some fantastic members. But I really think you have a case of the grass is always greener on the other side.

I know some women on 'SC campus right now who would give their eye-teeth to be where you are b/c they did not get a bid. You need to put things into perspective and be honored that you got a bid at all.


Do you want to be greek? Are you extremely miserable? Or are you still hung-up on your first choice? You need to answer these questions, because I know these ladies want you as their sister (they wouldn't have given you a bid if they didn't) but if you are still going look over your shoulder and wish for your first choice?

Get out now and stop these ladies from forming anymore attachment to you.

co-sign adpiucf

I'm not familiar with USC recruitment at all but I'm willing to bet there is a whole gaggle of girls who were cut heavily during recruitment and didn't receive a bid at all. Any one of them would be thrilled to have the spot in your org that you are willing to drop after only 3 weeks. If you are really that unhappy there de-pledge and give someone else the opportunity to be a contributing member of the organization.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

What's to say that you won't want to depledge the other group after 3 weeks either?

LOL some of you are kind of harsh.

Isn't it entirely possible that someone could end up in a group that is just not right for her and that no matter how hard she might try, she's just never going to relate to almost all of her sisters?

I mean, I still don't think she's going to get a bid anywhere else so the issue here is limited to sticking it out or quitting, in my opinion. However, I really don't see the point of someone staying where she's not happy. It doesn't matter if all the starving kids in Ethiopia would love to trade places with her -- if you don't relate, you don't relate -- and personally, I don't think it's worth it to stick with it if you're not getting what you want out of the experience.

Sticking my non-NPC nose in...

I think it depends on why she isn't happy. If because she's truly not happy, then quit. If she's not happy because she's always thinking about the other group, then she needs to stop. If she's not happy because of gossip then she needs to ignore it or work to make her group better.

I realize this all takes a certain amount of self-awarness that many college freshman may or may not possess. I would think that she needs to take a good long walk or drive by herself and think about what she wants. Is it reputation? Is it prestige? Is it family approval? Is it activities? Those needs may or may not be met in her current group--but only she knows what those needs are.

If you don't feel comfortable with where you ended up, I agree that what you really need to be asking yourself is whether you would rather be in no sorority as opposed to the one you're in. If you'd rather not be in one at all, then I say there's no harm in dropping and re-rushing -- knowing, of course, that your chances are about 1 in 100 of getting into your first choice at USC (possibly less likely considering which sorority your first choice was). If you would rather be in a sorority than in none, you probably should stay where you're at, because your chances aren't good.

If you are set on one particular house, you will definitely need to focus on letters of recommendation -- however, I'll be honest, those won't be nearly enough to make up for the handicaps that you are 1) a sophomore and 2) they've cut you before. You need to focus on the possible reasons why they cut you and start remedying those. Raise your grades, join other groups on campus and take on leadership positions, focus on your appearance. You will also need to make a number of GOOD friends in that house. And keep in mind that all of this, at a school like USC, is only enough to maybe possibly give you a SHOT at that house.

I disagree with some of the posters who say that you should never depledge and re-rush. Sometimes girls end up somewhere where they're uncomfortable and another house will be a better fit, and many sororities at many campuses understand this. (I can't speak for USC, but I know that this is not looked down upon on my campus.) However, you have to be realistic about your chances. USC has one of the most competitive rushes in the country -- quite possibly the most competitive rush outside of the South -- and posters are being realistic when they say that getting a bid from a house that has already cut you is probably not going to happen, even with letters of rec.

ETA: You have to keep in mind that many women feel the same way you do after bid day. Rush is a time where you get to see each chapter at their best, where all drama and negativity is carefully concealed and kept from PNMs. Being exposed to that drama during the new member period or after initiation can be an unpleasant surprise, and cause doubts: "Maybe I should have gone XYZ?" However, XYZ is dealing with the same exact drama, and had you joined that group you probably would be wondering if you should have joined ABC instead.

Can you elaborate on why you're unhappy with your current sorority?

Take the first step towards getting to know your sisters
 

Smart answer!

Also - something to keep in mind -
yes, you were dropped by sorority ABC. Furthermore, you pledged sorority XYZ. I would say that there is a good chance pledging XYZ would probably also hurt your chances with ABC.

I think you should stick it out. Talk to your new member educator.. let her know your concerns. Maybe the chapter needs to have more interaction between new members and initiates, or more activities for the new members in general. This may help you get to know your sisters better and make you feel more at home.

I think valkyrie really hit the nail on the head in saying that the real question here is whether you want to be Greek or not, and in my opinion you really need to think about the real reason why you're unhappy. I don't know anything about USC so I will take your all's word for it that rush is competitive there, but I can definitely say that it's a little early in the game to call it quits if you're even a tiny bit unsure. You have some time before initiation, so why not make the most of it? You still have the option of dropping before everything's signed and sealed.

Talk to your pledge mom. Talk to your big or temporary big. Talk to people you are closer with in your pledge class.

Give it a little more time. 3 weeks isn't very long at all.

You've been given some great advice. If you don't like the orority you are in, you can easily resign. However, don't resign thinking it will be easy to get a bid again, especially from one particular house. Realize, like everyone else has said, that resigning may be the end of Greek life for you.

It sounds to me that you have already made up your mind, you just want our "blessing". I'm not sure if many of us can give it.

If you aren't happy with the group you pledged, then I strongly suggest you not get initiated because once you are an initiated member of a NPC organization, there really will be no turning back. No chance of ever becoming a member of your first choice. If you truly love your first choice, perhaps you should wait and seek AI once you are finished with your collegiate experience.

At my university, we only had 1 or 2 girls who rerushed in my 4 years. The sororities were kind of competitive. I distinctly remember going over names of PNMs and someone saying, "didn't that girl go through last year?" "yes, i don't know why she is wasting her time, she'll get cut again". People will remember that girl. No one wants someone else's sloppy seconds (sorry if that sounds harsh, it is the best way i can describe it right now).

In my experience, a recommendation is a boost for you, not something that will keep you off of a bid list. There were girls we loved that didn't have recs, we got them for the girls because we really wanted these women. Actually, I have a good friend who was recruitment advisor at UCLA and she has said that she is amazed at how many women here in Texas have recs. I know, I know, UCLA isn't USC, but same state, maybe similiar situations with recs.

Also, isn't there a rule that states if you sign a bid card for one group, you cannot accept a bid from an other group for an entire year? Wouldn't that make rushing and accepting a bid again next fall semester impossible?

I went to a large commuter school with a small greek system....right off the top of my head I know 4 girls who re-rushed after they signed bids with an NPC sorority. They then waited their year-- and then re-pledged with their first choice.

Key words in what I said-- "small greek system." I would stick it out if I were you, because just like everyone said- it does not guarantee you a bid from your top choice the second time around. If you trulllllllly do not like this house then drop out, but remember that this could be your only chance of ever being greek...but at the same time do not hold the place in the sorority that could potentially be for someone who would love to be there. I would stick it out a little longer and see if things get better-- if they do not then "de-pledge"-- because no matter what you will have to wait until next year-- but at least waiting a little longer will give you more time to think and make a clear decision.

Good Luck!

If she would have come on here saying "I hate sorority life, I hate all the meetings and time commitments, I can't stand being around so many girls" I don't think anyone on here would have a problem with her wanting to depledge, cause sorority life in general is probably just not for her. I don't think that would be a lack of commitment issue.

But she hasn't said that. She has said she wants out so she can go after her "dream" sorority - which 1) may not bid her and 2) as Dani pointed out, she may not have any better of a time in than this one.

If this was another campus I might say go for it, what the heck, but at this one, she's pretty much shooting herself in the foot.

Please tell me someone did not suggest that she wait and try AI later on!!! I know the writer probably meant well, but....