What Lighbulb posted is good advice. When I went through rush I was feeling really nervous and shy and it really helped to have someone just start the conversation without putting me on the spot immediately.

To that end...try and take a stab at what sort of girl she is. If you're sort of a jock and she seems to be the mall type, try to find some neutral ground to talk on. During rush, there was nothing I hated more than trying to act like I knew where to shop or what the hell a Fendi was, just because that was where the rusher took the conversation. And if you guys have recs and resumes allready, you should kinda have a feel for it, but perhaps do a chapter brainstorming session of "neutral lifestyle" questions that are still interesting.

This is soooo true, just like you can tell when a PNM is being fake they can tell when you are being fake. Be yourself, tell the truth.

We had a girl join us last year becasue she could tell we weren't fake. When she asked one of our sister if everyone always got along our sister responded how can 30 girls get alog all the time; but they are my sisters and I love and respect them and for the most part that can't ever change.

If your honest and yourself chances are your a rusher all year round, PNM see you at class around campus and out with your friends and like the way you carry yourself. Best advise BE YOURSELF.

Even if your PNM is the grossest creature to ever slither into a party, be kind to her. Don't keep cutting your eyes over to more desirable girls or get into a conversation with another member or PNM and cut her out.

Most of us wouldn't think of being mean, but I've seen it happen.

Yeah, I always hated that question when I went through rush. My first thought when someone asked me that was something along the lines of, "Yes, I have questions, but do you really think that I don't have sense enough to ask them?" :rolleyes:

If you're passing a PNM off to another sister so she can meet more people, don't make her feel like she's being dumped!

As a PNM, I (internally) panicked when the rusher who greeted me at the start of the party said, "Well, it was nice talking to you, ADPiUCF. I'm going to leave you to chat with my sister Mary."

That made me think she didn't like me and I wouldn't get the option to return to that chapter!

PX's should tell their PNM's that it is good to meet lots of women at the parties and its ok if your initial rusher leaves you with someone else to get to know them!

Just to amplify what adpiucf said: I distinctly remember my "sponsor" (the girl who pushed for me throughout rush at ASA) coming over and pulling me out of conversations because "we need for you to meet as many people as possible". Her friends did the same thing -- we would be having a great talk, and they''d all of a sudden say "well, I don't want to end this, but we really need you to meet as many people as possible!" and bring me over to others.

Put this way, you feel a lot better about it, and not just "dumped".

Especially in early rounds, when the PNMs are unsure what's going on, make sure they know that "passing them on" is for their benefit, not because you've become bored talking to them.

bumping for all the ladies who will be bringing in new member classes through deferred formal next month!

Re: handshake
 

I was thinking the same thing. We were told not to initiate any handshake or touching with the rushee's. When introducing the girls to the VP Recruitment, we simply used hand gestures. If the girls initiated a handshake, we of course would shake their hand. As for the touching thing, many people aren't comfortable with strangers reaching out and grabbing their knee or elbow, so we were told to avoid anything like that.

When I went through formal recruitment, I was pretty shy. I'm one of those people that can be kind of quiet around people I don't really know but once I feel comfortable I can be really outgoing. To this end, I really appreciated when this rusher from Delta Zeta shared an experience about how she felt when she was rushing. It was comforting to hear "Gosh, I remember how hard it was for me to get to know everyone and how nervous I was. What's it like for you?" I was then able to open up to her a little bit which made me feel instantly at ease without appearing neurotic or frazzled. I thought would look dorky if I appeared nervous, but she was so nonjudgmental. I even got some really good advice on what kind of things to say and do at the other parties to make me feel bettter. While I didn't go DZ, I heard *so* many girls in my group comment about how real and sincere the DZs were. If your rushee is obviously nervous, taking off the "rush face" for a minute and acknowledging her concerns can be super beneficial.

The only catch 22 you can get in with this method is if the PNM is like "Oh yeah XYZ was so crazy when I went to their house, they were scary!!!" so be prepared to steer them away from that type of conversation.

This is a great thread! I'd love to hear any more or new advice... Our recruitment is coming up and I'm really nervous that I wont be a good rusher.

What should you do if the conversation gets to that awkward silence point where no one can think of anything to say? Does anyone have any good tips for avoiding/ending the awkward silences?

Thank you so much! The first thread was very helpful.

Great point!! Also, when I was bumped, I would also tell my bumper what the PNM had told me: "Hi adpiucf! Polly PNM and I were just talking about the upcoming football season, but I haven't had a chance to tell her about last year's amazing brunch before the Homecoming game!" or "Hi adpiucf! You and Polly PNM have so much to discuss - you both played soccer during high school!"

This keeps the conversation moving forward. When I rushed, I hated having to repeat myself to each sister because there was no transition.