My sister decided at 13 that she didn't want to rush because of my experience getting dropped by my mom's sorority. I hope she changes her mind in the next 3 years. I remember not wanting to rush when I was her age because I didn't think sororities were all that great, but I love it now. I chalk it up mostly to age, and that'll change.

I recently had this talk with someone, and I came to a few conclusions.

First being, I wasn't happy with any other organization on my campus and if my mother had been greek and pushed me to join of of those groups, I would have been miserable. So I wouldn't make my daughter pledge a group just because I was a member. Would it be awesome- yes, but like my sister/roommates mom (who is a DZ) its more important for your child to be happy (and in my roommies case it was with Tri Delta and not DZ).

That being said, there is one exception...if my hypothetical daughter goes to my alma matter and my chapter is still active. I would be VERY dissapointed if she didn't pledge Tri Delta because my name is on that charter.

My older sisters didn't pressure me to join their sorority at all, but I think it might have been another story if I'd been rushing at the same campus they went to. :p I really hope my younger sister goes Greek (she's starting high school this fall, so I've still got four years to work on her), and to be honest, I'd really like her to join DZ especially since there are chapters at all the schools she might end up at. I think I'd actually be sort of hurt if she joined my older sisters' sorority, because they have that to share with each other and I'd really like somebody in my family to share my own affiliation with.

I'd like my future daughter(s) to join Theta Nu Xi for reasons that I could only really explain to her/them. However, if she/they chose to join another organization, I would support the decision (including financially) and do everything I could to make that experience enjoyable, just like my own organization has been for me.

Because of my own experience, if the chapter where my daughter(s) went to school declined her/their admittance, I would truly be horrified. But, if it was the daughter(s) doing the declining, I would be sad for the loss, but happy for my daughter's joy.

I was a legacy via my sister who is four years older than me. I knew the atmosphere of the house and felt very comfortable there, even though my sister and I weren't much alike when I graduated high school. I never felt pressured from her to join Kappa, and there were times I wondered if I had picked the right house, but ultimately, I knew I was where I was supposed to be.

Some chapters will drop legacies if they think that legacy is more likely to pledge it's legacy chapter (dang, that's a lot of legacies in one sentence) while others will work even harder to "steal" a legacy (particularily if s/he's strong or somebody's 'rush crush') from other chapters.

I kind of feel like this too...everyone in my family except for me is in the same sorority, so I'd like one of my sisters to join ADPi just so I can share it with somebody.

My younger sister is a senior in high school, and she'll be either at Miami of Ohio or Kentucky, which both have ADPi chapters. I have a chance!

I would love my sisters and future daughters to join Zeta Sigma Chi. I don't want them to join just because I want them to though. My little sister is starting at my alma matter in the fall and I'm trying desperately not to push Z-Chi at her to hard, because I don't want to either push her away because she feels too much pressure or force her into joining because I did. It's been hard, but I really try just to leave the Greek life conversation alone. When she asks me questions, I do answer them to the best of my ability and I try to be somewhat objective. My dad is a Que, so he's trying to get her interested in being a Delta. Poor girl...

At my school, I feel that when legacies go through rush, it's almost implied that they are going to go with the sorority that they're a legacy to. In that respect, other sororities will still keep inviting them to events and to pref parties, but just won't rush them as hard because they understand that there's a really good chance that the girls won't pick their sorority.

Re: Legacy: would you care if...
 

I don't have a sister.

If and when I have a daughter, I want her to follow her heart. She will be exposed to Delta and I would love for her to seek Delta. However, I do not want her to pursue anything without having done research and putting in the necessary time and thought beforehand. If she does not want to join a sorority or finds another sorority is in her heart, that's wonderful. Whatever she seeks, Delta or not, she will need to save money to pay for it herself and I hope she is prepared to be a hardworking and dedicated member.

Legacies are not "shoe-ins" as far as Delta is concerned. Some chapters may decide to give legacy status a lot of weight but my chapter didn't believe in that.

ETA: I will be openminded but I do hope she chooses an organization for sound reasons. If says something dumb like "their colors are cooler" I will have to get my belt. :p

Did I want my daughter to become a Delta? Yes, and she did.

Would I have minded if she had pursued another sorority? I think I would have, but it wouldn't have affected our relationship.

Would I have minded if she had decided not to pursue any Greek affiliation. No, not at all.

One of my Rho Chi girls was a double (theoretically tripple) legacy to one chapter on campus. Her family pushed her hard to go to that house, but she kept saying that it just didn't fit her. I got the feeling that in the beginning she was willing to pledge them, and I know that chapter put a lot of effort into her (not only because of her legacy status, but because of her grades and her awesomeness). She mentioned that she was leaning towards my sorority, which I obviously couldn't tell her at the time... But when I finally got to show her my affiliation (at our final party..PX's are allowed to go since silent period begins after that) she just kept smiling. I'm so glad we have her as a sister. I think her family was a bit sad, but glad that she joined our group. Her friends even painted her car with "A BRAND NEW TD KITTEN!", which was really sweet.

If I have a daughter and she goes to OC, I'd obviously love for her to be a Tau Delta girl, but I realize that especially on my campus, house reputations change DRAMATICALLY with each pledge class. We went from being a party house, to being the "lesbian sorority" :rolleyes: to now being the brainiacs. And i'm sure it will keep changing. I know my choice to rush was influenced by my brother's fraternity involvement and hearing stories of my grandfather's fraternity days...so I'd hope she'd at least rush no matter where she went. And if I have a son, I hope that he'd rush too.

I was just thinking...

My parents used to "pay" me when I memorized poems, play monologues, etc. They really encouraged scholarship in all areas, so this should be no surprise.

So, ummm, if I do the same for my kids, would it be over the top to have my daughter(s) memorize Theta Nu Xi poems and facts in the place of poems and play monologues???

LOL!

I know I posted this somewhere years ago but-- I think it's different when it's your daughter. I would've loved for my sister to be a Pi Phi but she never rushed and it never really bothered me. Over the years as I've been raising the girls, I never thought about legacies much until they got to high school and then the desire to have a Pi Phi daughter began to grow.

Now my 2 AOIIs have each other and my 2 Chi Os have each other. My fifth and sixth daughters won't be attending schools with Pi Phi. I want someone to share my sorority with! And the next one after them is only 11!

A lot of actives and young alums don't understand why legacies are so important. I didn't then. Now I do.

A lot of y'all have already heard this story, so this is for the newbies:

We had a 5-generation legacy rush our chapter - the first generation was actually an Adelphean! We were duly impressed when we got her rec, along with a letter from EO which basically said, "You have zero choice here!" Oh, when I say 5-generation legacy, I mean just that - in several of those generations, there were 4-5 ADPi sisters!

All well and good - but this woman did NOT want to be a greek. She went to the minimum of rush parties, made minimal conversation, and when asked, said, "I was told to rush or else." She was very nice, she just didn't want the greek scene.

We put her at the top of our list, and she accepted our bid (along with her roomie). Again, she put the minimum amount of time in that she could get away with, but it was obvious that her heart wasn't in it. We got another letter from EO, informing us that she would be initiated at Convention, we were not to worry about her. She was initiated at Convention, showed up long enough to get her photo on the composite, and we never saw her again.

But we did get her roomie - who was a FANTASTIC sister!!

So, I think she's a prime example of overdoing it.

I'm just thinking of how many letter shirts must go through your laundry every week. ;)