I have another wedding invitation question. I'll be sending mine out this coming week but have come across this dilemma. My fiance & his mother think it is perfectly acceptable to send the little notes that inform our guests where we are registered along with the wedding invite. My family disagrees and feel that guests are informed if they ask, otherwise, they bring you whatever they want.

Who is right? Do I include the little card that says we're registered at so-and-so stores or should I omit them b/c they are tacky? I honestly don't know.

While many stores are even providing little cards, to show where you are registered, it's still terribly tacky.

If your beloved and his mother are trying to steer people towards the Registry Lists, insist that they either mail out a separate notes ("I thought you might appreciate knowing that BetteDavis is registered at the following stores - I know that I'm always left wondering what to purchase! We would have said so in the invitations, but as you know, it's rather gauche.") and left them send them out only to extremely close friends.

By now, you'd think people would know to ask where the couple has registered! I know that I always do (even if I don't plan to get something on the list!).

I totally agree with you!! I just got married a year ago and refused to do the A and B list, not that I had a choice, my mom and mother-in-law were dead set against it too. In my opinion I would rather not be invited to a wedding (at least you don't have to spend the money on the gift) then to know, by getting the invitation late, that I was on the B list.

Yes, you should never put a note about your registry in with your wedding invitation. What the best solution that I have seen and I did was to put something along the lines of that with your bridal shower invitation. All the people that are going to the bridal shower should be going to the wedding too, so that way they will know. For the guests that are not going to the shower the best way to for them to find out is through word of mouth. At least that what they say in all the bridal planners.

I think it's terribly tacky to include anything telling people where you are registered because gifts are definitely not required and it looks like you are begging for gifts. We set up a website (you can do it at theknot.com, we did ours on geocities) with all your wedding info (directions, hotels, etc.) and included links to our registries. We included the URL on the invite, but you can add a card that has that included, too. People could find out if they wanted to that way.

Your family is right.

When I was planning my sister's wedding shower, I called a relative to get the addresses of many guests. She asked where my sister was registered and spread the word to the rest of the family.

It's definitely tacky to include registry list with the wedding invitation. Your family is right Bette.

You're right. I put those little cards as well as directions cards in the shower invitations. I forgot the point of my post, lol. Instead of putting the registry cards in the wedding invitations, tell a relative or family friend where you are registered. Make sure it's a relative who talks to everyone so she can get the word out.

The wedding guests who weren't invited to the shower just asked the bride, the groom, or their mothers where the couple is registered.

The last few weddings I've been to, I've seen a gift table with things stacked high. I've opted to just sending the gifts directly to the bride and groom through their online registry. That way no one has to worry about what to do with the gifts after the wedding.

But I agree about the tacky-ness of the registry cards in the invites. If people want to get you a gift, they will know who to ask. Otherwise, you make it seem like you only care about the gift and not the person attending the wedding. Spread the word to your close friends and family.

Or put together a website via TheKnot.com. It's not as tacky.

Yeah, I confused myself, too. It was early, lol.

My sister is getting married in one week, and the wedding gifts have been delivered to her home which makes things easier. It's a lot of work to get all those gift boxes home from the ballroom or catering hall, etc. It's really convenient with the internet. You can look at the registry, order a gift online, and have it wrapped and delivered. I ordered my sister's shower gifts and they arrived at my place two days later.

I personally HATE it when people don't include registry cards, especially if you were only invited to the wedding and not the shower (where they are usually enclosed with the invitation.)

The ladies at my church and my mothers friends don't use theknot.com or look up people on Bed Bath & Beyond. It removes some hassel because I would rather give a gift than money. I feel like a card with money or gift certificates is so impersonal.

Do not include the registry information, it's terribly tacky. theknot.com has many articles about it...email them to your fiance and his mom.

I recently got a wedding invite with them in there. TACKY! If you want to know where someone is registered, you ask, or for goodness sakes look online.

This is how my best friend took care of it this summer for her wedding (both her and her husband are very skilled at web design, so they designed their own website and had their own domain name).

I typically go off on my own and find something that I think the two of them would enjoy, and leave the registry things to everyone else (yes, I'm weird :p)

Yes, it is tacky to include registry information with your wedding invitations. It's ok to include them with shower invitations, because gifts are expected - the point is to "shower" the bride with gifts. But any mention of gifts for the wedding itself - even to say "no gifts please" or "in lieu of a gift, please consider a donation to charity X" - is generally considered tacky. A guest who doesn't receive registry info with a shower invitation, should call the bride's or groom's family and ask. It's one of those weird wedding-etiquette things - the bride and groom can't give off the appearance of "we expect a gift", but as a guest, you d@mn well better show up with something.