I JUST found out about his death last night while reading Entertainment Weekly. I woke my husband up (at 11:30pm) to tell him (and I only wake up the hubby for important things). Mitch was a great comediene with a lot of potential ahead of him. He'll be missed by a lot of fans. :(

...in honor of the late great Mitch Hedberg:

"AIDS Tests are scary
So now I get the round about AIDS test
I call my friend Brian
'Brian, do you know anybody whose got AIDS?'
No?
Cool, Cause you know me"

"I had a stick of Carefree gum,
but it didn't work.
I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble,
but as soon as the gum lost its flavor,
I was back to pondering my mortality."

"I got my hair highlighted,
because I felt some strands
were more important than others."

"I'm sick of following my dreams.
I'm just going to ask them where they're going
and hook up with them later."

"Alcoholism is a disease,
but it's the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
'Dammit Otto, you're an alcoholic,' or
'Dammit Otto, you have Lupus.'
One of those two doesn't sound right."

"I wrote a script for a guy.
He said he liked it
but he wanted me to rewrite it.
I said 'fuck that. I'll just make a copy'"

"I used to do drugs
I still do
but I used to too"

"I wanna be a racecar passenger.
Just the guy that bugs the driver.
'Hey man, you should slow down.
Can I turn on the radio?
Why we gotta keep goin' in circle?
Man, you must really like Tide.' "

"I would imagine if you understood Morse code,
a tap dancer would drive you crazy."

"I tried walking into a Target , but I missed."

I have an infestatation of koala bears. Cutest infestation ever...I turn on the lights and koala bears scatter.

I bet you're all like, "wait, come back, i just want to pet you"

So my boyfriend is always going:

"I don't have a girlfriend... but I know a girl that would be really angry if she heard me say that."

"Come here guys, let me hold you."

I have heard a comedian who makes me laugh as hard as Mitch does...and it is another Mitch...Mitch Fatel.

It might be blasphemous to say someone else is nearly as good but I genuinely think that this Fatel guy may well be…he is hilarious. He uses his voice and personality to make his jokes funny too. Still, nobody beats the master...the cult hero

here's one example:
"I like being a male because we have a penis, and it's like having a best friend who always wants to play. I take my penis everywhere. I take it skiing. It says, 'Look out for that tree,' and I say, 'Thanks, Penis. I'm glad I had you out.'"

"An escalator is never really broken, it's just temporarily stairs."

I'm still laughing.

"Sorry for the convenience" :D