GreekChat.com Forums - The OFFICIAL "stop hiding behind slanted statements" sexism thread!

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Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
What she may have meant is that just about ALL women have had that unique feeling that comes with being sexually assualted. Yeah, a guy grabbing my ass at a bar isn't a big deal. The guy who keeps grabbing it at work? A little different. And you complain, but folks at work are saying, Well, she WAS flirting with him a lot there for awhile. And he says, You're just complaining because I don't take it even farther.

And suddenly you end up feeling kinda trashy and dirty and you're pretty sure you didn't do anything wrong to begin with, but it seems like it's a better idea to just let the whole thing go than make a huge stinking deal about what was really just an ass grab. But you're pretty sure you were right in the first place. And why is no one backing you up?

I've not seen anything anywhere to suggest that this would be considered 'sexual assault' (even barring Dee's definition) in anywhere I looked.

Harassment, sure - and bad, sure. But for the life of me I can't get how this relates to 'men get treated better on GC' or 'men always blame the victim on GC.'

------

ETA: Dani I thought of your thread, but it sort of degenerated quickly into an age debate (which is cool, it was a good thread) - I figured I'd be more blunt about this one, since we've had an outcropping of thinly veiled comments recently.

What, just because I love a good roast?

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
What, just because I love a good roast?

Go screw a donkey?

-Rudey

Quote:

Originally posted by Rudey
Go screw a donkey?

-Rudey

:( Guess you would not like to come over for bundt cake, either.

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
:( Guess you would not like to come over for bundt cake, either.

It was a question!!!!

-Rudey
--And I never turn down cake!

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
I hope that you realized that the majority of the women on this board find that incomprehensible.

I mean, I've heard the "one in four" thing over and over, but this is just - I don't even have a word - astounding perhaps?

Of course, that depends on the definition of "assaulted" you are using. If a guy grabs my ass in a bar, I don't consider that assault - I consider that a guy who's going to get a swift kick. What I'm getting from your post is, you and every one of your female friends and acquaintances have either been raped or nearly raped.

I'm not saying you aren't telling the truth but, geez, I honestly have no idea what to say.

Maybe this is a generational thing -- no clue. I'm not talking about ass-grabbing in bars (which, to me, would fall under sexual harassment and not assault -- and I don't think there's a women alive who hasn't experienced sexual harassment), although I'm not necessarily talking about near-rape, either. I remember a conversation with three of my really close girlfriends in high school where it came up that out of the four of us, one had been raped, one had almost been raped, one had been sexually assaulted walking home from school when she was 12 or 13 and the fourth had been sexually assaulted by a male babysitter when she was younger. (Keep in mind that this was when we were 17, almost five years ago, and by now some of us have been assaulted or just narrowly escaped more than once.) Every conversation I've had with close (and some not-so-close) female friends has taken similar turns. Maybe the 1 in 4 rule is and my friends are just extraordinarily unlucky. Maybe Madison is just a hotbed of sexual assault. ;) Or maybe the 1 in 4 is an estimate based off guesses of how many people report it and they are vastly underestimating. I do know that not a single person I know who has been assaulted or raped has reported it, which is something I've never stopped to think about before but is pretty interesting now that I have.

Quote:

Originally posted by sugar and spice
Maybe this is a generational thing -- no clue. I'm not talking about ass-grabbing in bars (which, to me, would fall under sexual harassment and not assault -- and I don't think there's a women alive who hasn't experienced sexual harassment), although I'm not necessarily talking about near-rape, either. I remember a conversation with three of my really close girlfriends in high school where it came up that out of the four of us, one had been raped, one had almost been raped, one had been sexually assaulted walking home from school when she was 12 or 13 and the fourth had been sexually assaulted by a male babysitter when she was younger. (Keep in mind that this was when we were 17, almost five years ago, and by now some of us have been assaulted or just narrowly escaped more than once.) Every conversation I've had with close (and some not-so-close) female friends has taken similar turns. Maybe the 1 in 4 rule is and my friends are just extraordinarily unlucky. Maybe Madison is just a hotbed of sexual assault. ;) Or maybe the 1 in 4 is an estimate based off guesses of how many people report it and they are vastly underestimating. I do know that not a single person I know who has been assaulted or raped has reported it, which is something I've never stopped to think about before but is pretty interesting now that I have.

Maybe your friends are an unrepresentative sample (not to mention an exceptionally small one compared to the total population), and because of your experiences you see things slightly differently than the majority.

This would explain both your (completely understandable) views, plus those of others who think you're seeing monsters under the bed, and also satisfies Occam's Razor.

-RC
--most of those studies tend to take into consideration that many assaults aren't recorded, at least the Harvard School of Public Health did . . . I believe they estimated 75% go unreported in college-aged women

ETA: before anyone gets cute with the numbers, the "25% of all women" included the "75% that were never reported to police or other authorities"

Shutup you rapist.

-Rudey

Quote:

Originally posted by KSig RC
Maybe your friends are an unrepresentative sample (not to mention an exceptionally small one compared to the total population), and because of your experiences you see things slightly differently than the majority.

This would explain both your (completely understandable) views, plus those of others who think you're seeing monsters under the bed, and also satisfies Occam's Razor.

-RC
--most of those studies tend to take into consideration that many assaults aren't recorded, at least the Harvard School of Public Health did . . . I believe they estimated 75% go unreported in college-aged women

ETA: before anyone gets cute with the numbers, the "25% of all women" included the "75% that were never reported to police or other authorities"