Oh yeah? Well, the jerk store called, they're running out of you!

Weezie is an outrage!

Is Anyone Here A Marine Biologist???
 

GEORGE: The sea was angry that day my friends...like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell ya, he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing I could see directly into the eye of the great fish!

JERRY: Mammal.

GEORGE: Whatever.

The meeting's at Monk's coffee shop. Do you need directions?

Elaine: The wedding is in one week. I got this [holds up invitation] today."

Jerry: So you think it's a non-vite?

Elaine: It's an un-vitation!

Jimmy's gonna put the moves on Elaine.

"You know Darren, if you would have told me twenty-five years ago that some day I'd be standing here about to solve the world's energy problems, I would've said you're crazy... Now let's push this giant ball of oil out the window."

Newman, you wouldn't eat broccoli even if it was deep-fried in chocolate sauce.

George: Yeah! Look at me! I was free and clear! I was living the dream! I was stripped to the waist, eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery!

Jerry: Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise.

George: Don't you see? I'm back in.

Jerry: All because of Wrath of Khan?

George: Yes!

Jerry: Well, it was the best of those movies.

George: KHAAAAAAAANNNN!

George! FESTIVUS is your heritage!

They're real, and they're spectacular.

"You want a Christmas card? You want a Christmas card? Here's
your Christmas card!!!" - Elaine to George, as she grabs his head and pulls it into her chest, in "The Pick"

HELLOOOO, NEWMAN.

I don't have a square to spare. I can't spare a square.

The bra for men...the bro.
No, it's a mansiere.