Here's where you can find all the prisoners celebrating birthdays this month, in case you want to send cards.

Hey, it's this guy's birthday today! He is a day older than me. If there's such a thing as being too muscular, I think this guy qualifies.

This guy is exactly a year younger than me. I'd have sent a birthday card but it wouldn't get there in time. :D

This guy is one day younger than me and says "I assure you this place only contains my body. My heart, soul, and thoughts are free to be with you." Well! That's good to know!

Lifesaver, I'm joining you on that bus to hell. :D

This guy wants a girl that will blow on his dice...huh huh huh...

Lifesaver, thank you for showing us this website, thank you. :)

I wrote to all of the ones in Delaware, Maine and Rhode Island.

How about yellow teeth guys poem...
Loving a Prisoner

Loving a prisoner isn´t easy to do.
Nobody knows this better than you.
It only gets harder day by day.
So giving me your heart is a high price to pay.
Promise to me saying you´ll wait.
Knowing someday they will open the gate.

LOL!!! Ok, and the sensitive man gets out in 2026?!?! Ok, this is sooooooooo funny!!

And I wrote to all the ones in Alaska, since you missed that state.

Thanks for catching that one.

This guy begins his ad: Do you like rough neck men who can also be fun, adventurous, wild and affectionate with pleasure you can´t measure? If so, look no further, you´ve found one.

Is it any surprise he's in for burglary and a SEX OFFENSE?

Okay.

I looked through the Wisconsin guys. This one was my favorite:

http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-148068a

Incarcerated for: Batt., sex. asst., poss. frm, etc.

First of all, when you have so many things that you have to abbreviate them just to get them to fit in the box, that = not good.

Second of all: ET CETERA? Etc. is for grocery lists. Etc. is not for lists of crimes. Bwahahaha.


ETA: http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-386757

"I am divorced and when I was on the outside, my children, two girls and two boys, were my number one interest. They still are, but I don’t get to see them at all."

Incarcerated for: child enticement. Oh my loooord.

He wrote, "I'm hoping to meet open minded people" so don't hate.

This guy wrote a poem that begins "The power of a gun can kill
and the power of fire can burn." He's in jail for...attempted murder. Insert your own joke here.
:D

Images by Tyrone Green
 

Dark and lonely on a summer's night.

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

Watchdog barking. Do he bite?

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

Slip in his window. Break his neck.

Then his house I start to wreck.

Got no reason. What the heck?

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

C-I-L my land lord!

Re: Images by Tyrone Green
 

That was one of the funniest things on SNL ever.

I shared this website with my friends and they found some gems.

Stripper killer!

http://www.writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-311676

Pirate pants!

http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-1243082

Crazy cat lady!

http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-w57881

This one's my favorite because she actually says that she works well on a team and would make a "great partner-in-crime." Funniest joke EVER.

http://www.writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-698379

Dont forget she says shes a slow reader too. lol.

This site is like CRACK.