i think it is something for you to be aware of...

if you are going to hang out and drink with the collegiates, then you may want to look around and make sure everyone standing there is 21+ (of course, we know no one ever drinks when they are under 21), look at your groups social policy (for example, phi mu does not allow collegiates and actives to participate in an activity with alcohol present) and look at why you are really there. is this a rush event and you are there to support the chapter, a chapter reunion, a philanthropy event, etc., then i say go for it. if you are just going to be hanging around at a social, then you might want to reconsider your plans.

it is great to get to know the actives and be a support, but there are lots of ways to support a chapter!

oh, today i had a conversation about some alumnae who graduated recently who don't seem to realize that they graduated. this particular chapter is frustrated because they keep showing up to meetings, want to come to parties, etc. and the chapter is like, you are graduated...go away! not that they don't want support, they just don't want the new graduates hanging around telling them what to do...which is what often happens when new graduates keep coming back.

I was just thinking about this the other night. I still live 10 minutes away from my alma mater and most of my friends from the chapter are still active, so I am very much friends with some of the actives and kinda still "in the mix". It is a bit weird for me though becuase I don't want to be around all the time and act like an active since I'm not, but these are my friends, and I want to hang out, so mainly I try to go out on our own time with them and not go to greek parties and such. It's also really hard not to give input about what goes on and have them turn to you and say " alumni, will you take the picture". not hear all the day to day stuff that happens on campus cause you weren't there etc... something I've been having a very hard time with actually...

For my chapter the amount of time an alum spends with the actives depends on how active she was to begin with. There was one girl who graduated a year ago who was around all the time because she was very active as a sister. I on the other hand only plan on hanging around when I am needed, like for recruitment... or the occasional nights out. Not to say that I wasn't active while I was there, but I just feel that I need to move on now if I am ever going to do it at all.

It is interesting to hear other people's stories because I think this can sometimes be a weird situation. I love my GLO and still want to be involved, but I don't want to seem like that girl who won't go away. I graduated in May 03 so for 03-04 school year I was still around the house and saw the actives a lot because a lot of my close friends were still active. I went to Bid Day to celebrate getting the Rho Gams (a lot of my close friends) back and even went to one of the first grab-a-dates with a friend because her boyfriend couldn't go. Now that I'm over a year out of school and the chapter I don't see the girls as much. My roommate is still active though (she's a 5th yr) so I still hear all about it from her. Our Alum chapter is growing a lot though and I actually hang out more now with some of the sisters who are older than me than I did when we were in the chapter together
If I'm still in Raleigh in a few years I would like to become involved as an advisor. I definitely think the rule about having to be out a few years before taking on that role is a good idea.

I graduated in 3 and a half years from Northern Arizona University so that put me finishing in Dec. '03... Since I wasn't entirely sure where and what I was going to be doing I stayed in town until the summer... It worked out well, because I worked and things... The fact was though, that it made an interesting combination of being an alum, but wanting to still be part of the chapter... What I ended up doing was helping out with spring recruitment a bit and initiation... Other than that I would hang out with sisters I was close to on a one on one basis, but not really go out and party with them... Having to get up to work to pay the bills really kept me from going out with them a lot...

I'll admit that it's been hard for me to "distance" myself from my chapter. My boyfriend is still a collegiate and a very active member of his fraternity, so I'm definitely in town often, and I only live 15 minutes away from campus. My sisters were my absolute best friends, and it's really hard to step back from that. At the same time, I don't want to be overbearing or "lame", so I've tried to limit how much time I spend with the entire sorority. I've stayed close with a few sisters in particular, and most of them are older, but I can think of 2 or 3 girls that are only sophomores that I consider good friends.

For the most part, I've only been going to events when invited, such as helping out with Recruitment. I stopped by at a Recruitment retreat one afternoon because we don't have a Recruitment Advisor right now because ours moved out of state, and I thought the girls might need help with the younger girls, or just doing something simple like making nametags. Our President (who is one of my very good friends) went out of town this weekend our boyfriends' fraternity has been hanging out with these 3 cool girls. Normally she would have brought them out, but I did it instead since she couldn't. These girls hit it off with our sisters fabulously, and I'm glad I did take them out to our movie night, because otherwise we might not have been able to show them how much fun it is to be Greek.

I will say it's really hard to not put your 2 cents in all the time, especially when you were fairly well-respected. I've just seen other alumnae stick their nose in the chapter's business too much, and that's why I'm trying to butt out unless my opinion is asked or my presence is requested.

We actually begin "recruiting" our new alums at their "crossing over" ceremony to alumnae-hood. This year, one of our brand-new alums became an advisor and another who graduated the year before joined our advisory board (I'm the oldest advisor at 35! LOL).

Many of the new alums join the group as it's a pretty young group. It's like they never left their chapter...but there are less meetings and the dues are MUCH cheaper! LOL

My problem is a little different. I graduated about 2 years ago, and I moved back to Texas (from VA). There are very few chapters of my GLO here and the ones that are, are at least 4 hours away. I really want to be involved! There is an alumnae group here, but they are mostly older women, and they have not met in awhile. I sent them emails a few weeks ago, letting them know I wanted to be involved and I'd love to have lunch sometime, but I never heard back. I have been getting involved in other things here in town, but it's not the same. I've even started emailing one of the newer members back at school, just to keep in the loop on numbers and such, she's really sweet and indulges me, and we've never even met. I wanna be involved, but I can't;-(

Try contacting Your National and see if they have anything in their Data Base that would pull out a listing of Alums inThe Houston area.

How many Chapters are there in Texasif at all?

If there are, either go through Hq Site if they have a list of Chapters you can contact via email.

If National Site doesnt,try greekpages.com.

I just graduated this May and have moved 600 miles away from my undergrad to go to graduate school. The hard part for me is that there are still sisters who are active that I came in with, but have not graduated yet.

In talking to sisters that are nearby campus, they said it's best to just attend events that you are invited to, chapter wise. Such as initiation, recruitment, alumni events, etc.

I think the hardest part is for sisters who have graduated, but their boyfriends have not. So if they're partying with their boyfriend and sisters are there, that may be hard. Then again, i think some have yet to draw the line between active and alum.

The thing that is going to be hardest for me is the fact that I am going to be advising a local chapter while in graduate school. I hope I will be able to draw the line, a)because I just graduated and b) because these girls are my age. I'm hoping that since i did not know these women as a collegian it will be ok.

My one weakness is though that I am flying down twice this semester to visit my sisters and friends, one is for alumni brunch though. :p

I am and I'm not.

I'm in the same city, working with a larger alumni association, and return every so often to help as well as to see how my brothers and friends are doing.

I am an adult now and I don't feel the need to be the weird alum at some party with college kids. That was getting old in college and it sure as heck is unacceptable over a year out of school.

-Rudey

Really sorry to disagree, but I have been working with My Chapter for almost 40 years.

I have visited Chapters in Close Proximity for 5-7 years.

It always Great for me to meet Young Men who have the same hopes and Ideals that I had so many years ago.

My self imprtance as a Founder never entered into to it. The Young Men/Women are New Life Blood of any Greek Organization.:cool:

I'm graduating in December, next semester I sure will be involved! I planning to attend most service and social events. We have a ACTIVE who is 40 and a 25 y/o grad student....so I'm sure I won't stand out at all. It is different if I'm still doing things with my chapter at 30 or even 25. I think it depends on the school, Josh. I think it is the same way with the social greek orgs on my campus, when I used to party at the fraternity houses I saw recent alums all of the time. This could be because our student body is a tad bit older than other colleges, people throughout their 20s blend in on our campus.

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"for example, phi mu does not allow collegiates and actives to participate in an activity with alcohol present"

Are grad students allowed to be active phi mus?