I think a good question to ask to those of you married/getting married is how did YOU decide who could/who couldn't come to the wedding? In a time where people know so many people, and there are extended families, friends from work, business contacts, etc., how do/did you make this decision?

Ditto. No crotch droppings allowed at my wedding! :mad:

When we wrote up our first list of people, we had over 400 guests to invite. As that was completely not feasible, we started cutting back. My fiance and I are both only children, but I have 7 aunts and uncles, and almost 50 first cousins, who are almost all married with children of their own. His family is pretty much the same way. Then you add in all of our greek brothers/ sisters, and you've got another 150.

So we decided to do a two-day deal. We're having our ceremony and a short formal reception for family (down to aunts and uncles... cousins was just too much!) and some very, very close friends that will look to be about 110 people. The following day we're having a very casual cookout that we invited the extended family (cousins, etc.), co-workers, family friends, fraternity brothers/sorority sisters, and other friends. We're expecting somewhere between 200-300 for that.

It ended up working out well for us, (or at least, I hope it will!) since both of our families are from out of state, and were wondering what they were going to do with their time beyond one night of activity. The barbecue will give everyone more time to catch up and spend time together before they all fly back out to their respective homes.

and like I said... no kids :)

my sister and brother-in-law had three kids at the wedding, our twin cousins and his neice. all three were flower girls. my sister wanted no other children at the wedding. one of my mom's oldest and closest friends no longer speaks to us b/c her grandchildren were not invited to the wedding. that is just absurd, in my opinion. but she is the type that saw having them there would make her the center of attention, which is not something she should be thinking for someone who considered her an aunt's wedding. needless to say she caused a bunch of other problems at my sister's wedding, that my parents and i were able to successfully hide from my sister so she wouldn't be upset.

This is such an awesome idea. If and when I ever get married, I would love to do something similar. I am one of those people who HATES being the center of attention because I get really nervous, so I would want a small wedding. I also don't believe in spending thousands of dollars for a huge affair that is going to be over in 5 hours, and pay for people I am not really close to. I would want something fancy and nice for immediate family and close friends however. I like the idea of the casual backyard BBQ thing as well that weekend or after the honeymoon, or having a get-together at a favorite bar. I would also probably rent a bus to take people back and forth because my family lives upstate and hates driving to the city so I would need to find a way to make everyone happy.

I started dating my bf of almost a year when I invited him to a friend's wedding. You never know! ;)

I am not at all a fan of children, but since my friends have already started popping them out, it's pretty much inevitable that the its will have to come to my wedding. What I'm planning on doing is having some babysitters that day who will be in the crying room of the church to supervise the kids, and then will supervise the kids at the reception in a seperate area as well. That way the little spawns can come and the older ones can share in my happy day, and the little ones will not wreck it.