As someone who has been out of college now for over 9 years...

You have to think about the big picture.

Get a copy of your ritual book and read--really read it. Really think about what it means to you. Think about how you can incorporate it into your everyday life, and especially in your dealings with your sisters.

I went through some times of doubt with my chapter too--but now I look back and remember a lot more good times than bad ones, and I remember the women who got me through some rough spots in my personal life, and I realize that I am a better person for all of it--good and bad.

We all deal with adversity in our life, and we have to somehow find a way to get through it.

I've often thought of our commitment to a sorority as being similar to a marriage. In the beginning you're in the "honeymoon stage". Then real life kicks in, and it isn't always pretty--but somewhere in there is the heart of why you committed in the first place.

You know, sometimes I think we all need to remind ourselves of why we joined in the first place. I know I do. Even as an alumnae, I realize that maybe there were things that I should've done while in college, but you know what? There's nothing I van do about it now. If I spend all me time thinking about the shoulda,woulda,coulda's, then I'm sure I'm missing out on what is right in front of me.
I urge you to talk to your sisters, whether collectively or otherwise. Sometimes I think we dwell too much on what is wrong, rather on what we do right. What are some of the things that are going well in your chapter? Think about those things, and how the chapter has come to excell in those areas. Can any ways of doing things be implemented in other areas? Remember, it will take time. Rome wasn't built in a day.

It will only be as great to be in that chapter as you help make it. Wishing to have joined another group, while a good thought, won't change the situation. If you get passed up for positions, offer to work as an assistant to that person to learn the position better, so next time you run, you will have experience. If your relationship with your big stinks, make sure when you get a little sister, you learn from that, and have a great relationship. I know my big left school the semester I pledged, and while we were friends, I'm MUCH closer to my little than I ever was to my big. She and I still email and talk and see each other, and we live 2 hours away from each other and I graduated 8 years ago!

Best of luck...

Hey, thanks for all your encouraging responses! It helps to know that I'm not alone out there in having rough times with my sorority. Your suggestions help a lot too. I think that if I found some kind of leadership or activity to get involved with, I'll feel more like an important member to the chapter. Actually, I should've said I've been in for one and a half years...so I already have my little and she's one of my best friends. We want to make her little (my grand little) feel special and want to get involved, so that's one thing to work on, to feel better about my sorority membership. I also think that I'm going to talk to a good friend of mine who is currently on exec and see what she might have to suggest about leadership and possible opportunities. Unfortunately, I think I'll get passed up on for exec because mostly sophomores are slated for exec on my campus and I'll be a junior this fall. But maybe I could be one of their assistants or take on a non-exec leadership position. At least talking to my exec friend will get it out there that I do want to help out!
Or if nothing works out as an active, maybe I can help out more when I graduate and join an alumni chapter.

Anyway...thanks for all your help and encouragement!!! Sometimes it just takes a few helpful and kind words to get your mind back on track.

Executive positions aren't the be-all end-all. I have never been on exec and this past year I had our President tell me I was one of the most influential members of our chapter.

If you find a position you're passionate about, you'll have lots of fun with it and most likely be good at it. But if you really do want to do exec, go for it anyway! If you just let the sophomores win because that's the norm, that's silly.

if your chapter is anything like mine, we were always begging for someone to step up and be a committee chair!!! that would be a good way to get involved.

stick with it and do your best to make it better. also note, that the four years of college are not the end all be all for your sorority life. my last year of college SUCKED mainly because of things that were happening in phi mu. i took a year off and then joined an alumnae group. a few years later, i realized that i never wanted anyone else to have those same terrible experiences and so i have become actively involved with my collegiate chapter. in 5 years, the things you are feeling now will seem so silly and trivial to you. do your part to be involved and remember that there is so much more to your sorority experience. good luck!

I think that I will try to be a committee chair or maybe someone's assistant, but I'm going to start out small and maybe help plan some things first, to show that I do have the leadership capabilities. I'm really excited because I searched GC archives and found that someone did Build A Bear and then decorated their own t-shirts for the bear that they made back at the house...and we have a build a bear opening up near campus soon! I think that could be a good idea, but I'm coming up with more of my own.
If nothing ever amounts during my active years, then I want to see what I can do, following pinkyphimu's lead, and help out with my collegiate chapter, become an advisor or maybe just help lead the alumni chapter.
Whatever happens, thanks again for the advice!

ADVICE, ADVICE, ADVICE and it is all good!:)

Every Chapter has ups and downs.

I hear excuses from my Chapter about why they cannot do things. They have as much backing as can be given to them by Alums, but Alums are not living day to day at The Chapter .

So go in speak your peach and just say, I have made a decision, this is not right and something has to be done.

Reason, if this keeps up, there will be no Chapter. If it is just you, then look in retrospect. If it is a constant problem then think of ways that you as a Member can help change it.

If, it is a major problem, contact your Greek Advisor or/and your Chapter advisor.

If this is a further problem as you do not feel comfortable with, contact your HDQ Reoresenative.:)

well i have an idea I will pm you with it :)

be happy you are not officer - you will be so overwhelmed and sometimes upset that some girls are not moving their butts lol. Its pressure and big responsbility - you get blamed. I was so busy at the cross over party to make sure everything went off iwthout a hitch and smooth and guess what it did BUT I barely remembered the party cuz i was so busy making sure everything was perfect......you can be involved by helping do some stuff like make some copies, spread the word, type something, small things are really really appreciated and helps make a heavy burden a light one!!!! Perhaps you can be involved in upcoming rush and learn more about the girls :) you could be involved in fundraising - a lot of closeness when working together in fundraising events. I know this from my past experience in my honor society AGS.