Okay.

One hors d'oeuvre PER PERSON.

if i promise not to eat the expensive ones, can i come?

No, you're not good enough. Maybe you can come to the Yahtzee tournament we're having the day after.

I'm sorry but it just doesn't make any sense.


They had sex before, and a year does not make a difference or erase past "sins".


PS: Apologies to the born-again virgins. :cool:

i don't know... if i can't come to the wedding, i don't know if i want to go to the next day event... i'm boycotting.

Its not about erasing past sins...once you repent..God remembers your sin no more...but at the same time..he knows your heart..i.e. whether you're just repenting for lip service and not really "trying" to live according to his word.

And no need to apologize to the born again virgins...we all have to live our own lives and answer for our own decisions ;)

Are you sure? We're going to serve the leftover rumaki and mozzarella sticks!

I think it's fine if you're doing it for the right reasons -- and I don't think guilt or trying to erase sins are very good reasons. But if it's just to make the wedding night a little more special or memorable, I don't see any problem with it if you feel like it's worth it.

I might do it, but not for any longer than 3-6 months. Two years would be ridiculous.

Honey, there isn't going to be any leftover rumaki. I only ordered 12 for everyone

Thats funny, one time I told my ex boyfriend, no more sex ( in a way to get him to break up with me lol) until marriage he offered to get married in a few months and kept calling me so we can go to the jewelry store and pick the ring out......as you imagine, I took the chicken way out and became "busy" lol.......and said i wouldnt get married until i get my PhD. so he broke up with me but kept trying to get back......finally he is over me! YAY

maybe for about 2 weeks before the wedding, but months or years? not gonna happen!

well.. if there aren't going to be any leftovers, then i ain't coming. no leftovers is not the way of the cougar.

Interesting topic.

I could have dealt with abstaining for a week or two before the wedding, so you get some of the "newness" on your wedding night, but no longer than that. I respect those who choose to become celibate after having had sex, as well as those who actually do remain virgins until their wedding night. It just wasn't for me. I believe it is possible to have a healthy, loving relationship that includes sex, even if you are not married.

Back when I was planning my wedding, I lurked on alt.wedding, and this topic came up. Responses ranged from "we're abstaining for a few months" to "no sex the week before the wedding" to "abstention - hah!" The story that sticks out most in my mind was that of a couple who had gone to the Catholic church they belonged to, to sign up for Pre-Cana. They filled out the registration form and put down the same address, since they were living together. Their pastor then told them that if they wanted to get married at his church, not only did they have to stop having sex, one of them had to move out until the wedding. It wasn't enough for them to continue to live together and promise not to have sex - one of them had to physically move out. :rolleyes: So they had to scramble to find an apartment that they could rent for 6 months, and cough up rent on the second place rather than saving that money for their wedding/honeymoon/first house. :(

why does this story stick out to you..did you find it hard to believe that the pastor didn't support them shacking up?? just curious.

It stuck out to me because of the priest's insistence that one of them physically move out. The priest didn't want them having any more sex until the wedding - that's fine, it's the Catholic Church's stance that premarital sex is a no-no. But it wasn't sufficient for them just to promise not to have sex; it wasn't sufficient for them to sleep in separate bedrooms in their apartment; they had to have physically separate residences.

I guess the priest's feeling was that by LT they were sending the message that they were sleeping together (as, indeed, they had been), but it bothered me that he wouldn't accept their word that they would not have sex.

Plus, what's to stop them from getting a second apartment and then staying over with each other all the time? ;)