Even though I hope my parents aren't like this. Congrats to you for still being on that *great*date. :)

No no no no no no no - women are merely baby factories, meant to cut my cigar and pour my brandy. Her important features are her social propriety and moral purity - bleeding on the wedding night is of utmost importance. Swearing, sweating, working, voting, and wearing loose corsets are right out. Sex = bad, for serious guys . . . actually, not for serious guys, b/c it's apparently only bad for women. Lucky me!

-RC
--I'm late for the 4:40 autogyro to Prussia

It's all in the perspective. Depending on how the first date actually went and what the guy is like, the opinion he forms and the outcome could be very different from what it would be with someone else.

I have never had sex on the first date (or the second, or third, or 10th...) but have come really close very early on with some guys. I do think that it will make you appear as if that is all you are good for if you haven't established some other connection first.

what about those chicks who you don't have to take out?

Well according to social biology withholding sex is a mating strategy.

To give an example, lets say there was a girl that was fairly promiscious and known for having sex early and often . . . and lets say she met a guy she saw as a good potential long term prospect, potential husband material . . she might unconsciously decide NOT to sleep with him for some time.

The idea it to get him to establish a relationship by investing time and material into the relationship. It makes sense.

Personally, Day One of the Real Relationship starts for me AFTER I have had sex with the girl.

And the reason I say that is that I know that a lot of the stuff before that is artificial sexual tension. Me wanting to, but being denied.

Intercourse is a normal and important part of the relationship, Christain Vestal Virgins notwithstanding, So its only after that component is added that I can take stock and see how the path of the relationship is going.

My ex husband came on very strong on our first date and I set boundaries. He told me many years later (after we were married) that he would "test" his dates that way.. seeing how far he could get on the first date. If a woman didn't stop him, he wouldn't date her again, because he considered her a slut and he didn't want a long term relationship with a slut. I asked him what that made him?

*Some* men have weird ideas...

Dee

and this is what we call a hoe. not because she has sex early and often, but because of the fact that EVERYONE knows about it. if she meets a guy who knows her sexual history prior to them dating and knows about her numerous sexual exploits, and she has an epiphany and wants to close up the legs..that man WILL bounce because the tail that he knew was easy, was trying to be difficult. who wants to be the guy who turned the hoe into a housewife? that's what background checks are for.

If you were the guy looking for a long-term deal, isn't this what you want? Kinda like 'a lady in the street but a freak in the bed'? Or am I reading this wrong? Now I'm all sorts of confused.

no, what i'm trying to say is that i'm not trying to get a woman whose sexual history is front page news. the first part of that statement is a lady in the street. if her business is out there on front street....is she really acting like a lady?

Oink.

Gotcha. Thanks for the clarificiation.

:(

**Clutching my pearls as I attempt to add to an improper conversation**

Well, I get Starang's point. The issue for a lot of men is not whether or not their woman is experienced or has sex on the first date. The issue is whether or not the whole campus or town KNOWS about it. They don't want to know that all of their boys and half the campus/town have hit it. Most men and their egos cannot handle that. It's fine if you do your thing, just practice a little discretion. Everyone does not need to know your business.

Also, don't expect us to date you if you banged guys we know, especially if we don't think much of those guys.

Its like getting the leavings of someone that is not even in your social league. Ick.

[/i]

If I didn't think emoticons were the silliest things ever, this would necessitate the one that rolls its eyes perpetually.



Holy crap. The line I cut out for you is exactly the point - you're allowing a double standard to exist, and even chalking it up to some sort of 'male ego' as if it were something real, tangible, and unavoidable.

This is just like the "human nature" fallacy - you're allowing stupid behavior to occur under the guise of some sort of fictitious implicit flaw.

Don't.