A friend of mine from work was caught up in a church like this. Not sure if it's the same one. He wasn't allowed to drink, watch TV or go to movies. He couldn't wear short sleeves or short pants. The church actually helped him out of a bad time in his life. He came from a rich family and had developed a major drug problem. The church, while controlling all aspects of his life, did actually help him clean up. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the ICOC because he would occasionally do things with us after work like play raquetball.

Then he met a girl and started getting laid on a regular basis and became completely normal again. He was also thoroughly pissed at his "church" for being so controlling. Personally, I think they helped him through a rough time in their life. Some folks are weak at some points in their life and need a controlled regimen like that. For him, it was a good thing.

Okay...I know this is a serious thread...but I chuckled @ this line here.....
:p

lol lol lol so did i

Thanks for that! I was actually going to post the same thing until I read your post. :D

I'm a member of the church of Christ as well. :)

Thanks for the stories so far, folks....I have a friend who is in this now, and I had some concerns.

Are you an instrumentalist or vocalist?

My guess is vocalist;)

CoC churns out tons of vocal majors.

I know you said you've been to the websites, but have you checked out the Delphi message boards that run by former ICOCers? You'll get some interesting stories from people who have "been on the inside" so to speak.

I've only had one encounter with the ICOC many years ago. I was at a laundromat washing clothes for me and my uncle who had downs syndrome and this girl about my age struck up a conversation. She could not BELIEVE I was washing some man's (I was like, dude, it's not 'some man', it's my uncle!" )unmentionables. She would turn her head when I folded his BVDs. It was pretty strange. Anyway, she invited me to her church and talked about how wonderful it was and all of the young people and how they didn't buy buildings because it was a waste of money and they just met in convention centers and hotels around the city, etc. I kept telling her that I had a church, was pretty happy with it, but she kept going on and on like we were going to be best friends. I finnally told her I would try to make it one day and she asked for my phone number. I don't give random people my phone number, so I wrote down a wrong number and left the laundromat. Wouldn;t you know it about a month later I was in the drive thru at Taco Bell and she is in the window! She was like, Hey!! I called your number and they said you didn't live there!! Give me your number! Wanna go to church with me?!?! " I told her I put down the wrong area code (Lord forgive me for the lies!) got my Mexican pizza and got the heck out of there!

A good friend of mine from college got mixed up with them briefly, but she quickly saw that they were not for her. She was a young military wife and pretty new mother in a strange location when one of the other wives approached her about coming to a bible study. She agreed and people were super nice and friendly. They brought gifts for the baby, cooked dinner for her family one night and brought it over and seemed genuinely interested in her life. She got freaked out when they said something like "the only reason you need friends outside of the church is to convince them to come to church", that her baptism was not valid and told her (since she didn't work) that she should have bake sales to raise money to donate to the church if her husband did not agree to her tithing. The final thing that said this is not good is a call she got of out the blue from another college friend who was heavily involved in the church. The conversation was pretty general for about 5 minutes and then, according to my friend, the other person asked her something about church and my friend said it seemed like a set up. Almost like someone said hummm....this person went to Spelman college, checked a database or something and realized that this other person went to Spelman at the same time and they were the same major. My friend said it really appeared that the entire reason for her call was to get her to further committ to the church. She stopped going around them after that.

I think it is important to realize that people getting closer to God, changing things in their life (like having sex outside of marriage) doesn't mean they have joined a cult, but most of the things I have read about the ICOC says "cult".

I'm sorry your friend joined a cult

Thanks Eclipse. You know, I had not even thought about Delphi forums...I will search for them now.

Also, yes.....I feel you on that final point. I am trying not to let me personal feelings on organized religion get in the way of determining whether this "church" is abusive to my friend.

Well, he's slipping away.....I'm kinda sad, distraught, upset, angry.....but there's nothing I can do.

I sorta just want to cut him loose because I don't think I can handle this cult (cuz that's what it is) swallowing him up. He doesn't even realize that he's just regurgitating what the church tells him.

He is the type of person that makes anything his God except what counts. If it sounds good, he goes with it, whether it is school work, obsession with "the right schools", his GLO, his pursuit of another GLO....and now, I think HE thinks that he has actually made the right decision and settled down, but he doesn't realize that GOD is not driving his friends away -- it is the judgmental dogma that his church teaches. He thinks that he is better than anyone who isn't Christian. And the only true Christians are in HIS church. Argh.

I'm just so sad that there's nothing I can do.