in my deepest southern ghetto accent drawl
 

words in bold deeply emphasized and spelled that way for a reason

spank 'em. that is why these kids is so darn dispectful now. why, i grew up back in the day whyere i grew up. my neighbor could whup my ass, if i was doin' sumthin' wrong. i had to be in the when the street lights came on. i couldn't sass back to nun of the grown folk. i always had to say yes ma'am or no suh !!!

i think one time my grandma threw a shoe at me 'cause i sucked my teeth!!!

that time out stuff don't work!! i wish they had time out in my day. lil johnny and lil suzie got it so lucky, right now!

Not directed to you KR, just an observation of parents in general. I had two different kids and two different reactions to every form of discipline. The trick is to keep changing it up and when you send them to their room, make sure it isn't the equivalent of being in a PLAYROOM.

I agree-There is a difference between beating, spanking and a swat.

My rules were (age was a consideration)
1. Could they harm themselves? running into the street.
2. Could they harm others or destroy property? throwing rocks-biting-pushing consider the situation of course
3. Out and out disobedience when they KNOW better.

For those who are against spanking, that's OK by me IF you have control of your child and it's not the other way around. I think you are the minority though. Lets face it, a lot of parents find it easier to park their kids in front of a TV than spend the time teaching, playing and reading with them.

Spare me from the mother who allows her child to scream, kick and yell in the grocery store wanting candy. THEN says "Wait till your father gets home." or "No TV for you." AS THE CHILD DEVOURS THE CANDY HER MOTHER GAVE HER JUST TO SHUT HER UP!:rolleyes: There is nothing worse or more sad than a rotten child.

Spankings didn't work for me. I don't know if it was because I was a super strong-willed child, had a high pain tolerance, or I didn't get spanked hard enough (despite that I was sometimes spanked by thick belts, combs, house shoes, and boto bats :o). It seemed that whatever I did to get me into trouble was worth the spankings. What worked with me was punishment by humiliation and having my favorite things taken away.

(despite that I was sometimes spanked by thick belts, combs, house shoes, and boto bats) :eek:

You were possibly really strong willed and very proud.

I would NEVER let my parents see me cry when I "got it"!
Made them feel like dirt.

I can honestly not remember being spanked. My parents had opposing views on the frequency and severity of corporal punishment, so as a result it happened very rarely, if at all.

I have seen parents get too carried away with their own anger while doing it, and that is a f$#ked up situation. THAT is where discipline becomes child abuse. The point isn't to express the parent's anger, it's to discipline the child--right?

So, little Munchkins will not get spanked. My sister and I, as well as my sister's children, were disciplined by losing privileges, not having the isht beaten out of us.

I was spanked. A lot. Of course, I was a hellion. It really never worked as far as changing my behavior. Unfortunately, I don't think my parents had much idea what to do with me. They did, strangely, however, have an order on file at my elementary school forbidding my paddling (which I found out about and let the office staff know that I knew:cool: ).

Most likely, if I have children, they'll be ADHD as all hell like I was/am. Hopefully, they figure out some method of genetic engineering that can prevent ADHD though.

My parents spanked. Although I think I had maybe 4 or 5 of them my entire life. Because I didn't care if I got spanked. I learned by the second one that it hurt for maybe 2 minutes, and then I could go right back to whatever I was doing. So my mom started "timeouts" ... I would have to stand in a corner, and I couldn't talk or turn my head or look at anyone. OMG did I hate it. I would stand there for maybe 3 minutes and it drove me crazy. To this day I can't stand not doing anything.

My brother and sister, the spanking worked on, but for me, it was timeouts. It depends on what will get the message across to the kid.

I was a part-time nanny for a couple of years, and the kid I took care of was never spanked. She did what she wanted when she wanted and got what she wanted right away, if not sooner. When she acted up, which was often, she was sent to "time out." It didn't work. She liked to see just how far she could go and how much she could get away with, and of course I couldn't do anything about it. The kid tried to push my mother down a flight of stairs one time and almost succeeded, and she sat there and laughed about it. That kid needed her butt busted.

Yeah, I can SO relate to that! Been there and felt that!

Which is why I am on the fence about spanking. A swat on the butt is fine but sometimes parents can carry it to far

Taking away my privleges hurt a lot more than getting the isht beat out or me.

Being beaten just made me more sneaky about how I did things

I think it depends on the kid. I know my parents had two completely different children with completely different personalities. With my sister, spankings never really worked. She wouldn't give my parents the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Then, there was me who teared up at the very threat of being spanked.

I think what is missing from parenting today, though, isn't necessarily the spankings so much as consistency. Kids need boundaries and they need to know consistently when they overstep those boundaries.

Since I don't plan on having kids it really doesn't matter, but anyway.

I'm a firm believer in the use of a belt, plain and simple. I've had some good spankings and it deterred me from some things, but not others. My mother used the kneeling on the floor in the kitchen, THAT WAS THE WORSE and she also sent me outside (I know that doesn't seem like a punishment, but for me it was, I HATED IT and she knew it, there wasn't much to do) and restriction or a combination over the above, but most of the time I got spanked, I can probably count how many times on both hands. Some of the stunts that I pulled, I deserved it. I look at it this way, my mother got spanked, my sister and I got spanked and we turned out fine. I have the most respect in the world for my parents and my grandmother.

I also have some comparision, my stepfather did not spank his son, but talked to him and put him on restriction, which was ignored completely. There was one instance were we were going out (mom, me and step-father) and "L" went to go talk to his son "D" and it just got out of control, some of the things "D" was saying and the way he spoke to his father (so disrespectful). Since that was his son, my mother had nothing to do with disciplining "D" or the like. I turned to my mother and said simply "Ma, if I had said that to you in that tone, you would put me through the wall", my mother nodded.

I'm not saying that "beat respect into your kids", but putting up some bounderies and letting them know that they've crossed those lines with some form of spanking and restriction is the way to go for me and mine (family).

ms. gwyn

I have to agree with JAM. It depends on both the child and the situation. In situations like running into the street, sticking something into an electrical socket, touching a hot stove, it's important to associate them with physical harm and I spanked my kids, when they were too young to reason with, to demonstrate this. Ditto with harming others.

I had two very different children. My daughter is so extremely sensitive that just saying her name sharply (even now that she's 10) sends her into tears and apologies. She's generally a very well behaved child. Her friends' moms all say "She is welcome here any time", she is a teacher's pet, is always sweet to others and is very compassionate (well, to everybody but her younger brother, but sibling stuff is different anyway).

Then there is my son. He will take attention any way he can get it, even if it's negative (like spanking). He is now 8 and for about the past 3 years, he will not only refuse to cry if spanked, he will laugh and giggle, which makes an angry parent only more angry. My ex still spanks him and has no control over his behavior. I find though, that he responds better to the loss of playstation, game boy, computer games, etc. than he does to spankings. The "if you keep doing xyz, you'll lose playstation for a week" totally works with him. He is much calmer at my house than at his dad's (even at school, per the latch key staff). He responds to chaos with chaos. He responds to a calm, mellow demeanor with calmness. He knows that if he wants attention (cuddling, playing a board game, or just talking) from me, he will get it if he asks so he doesn't have to act out to get it. He also knows my rules and knows the consequences if he doesn't follow them. His dad is not consistent and will change the rules or consequences based on what is convenient for him at the time.

It's about knowing your kids, knowing what works and what doesn't for them, evaluating the risk of the behavior and being consistent at an early age. Oh yeah, "The Look" will do wonders if they learn it early!

Dee

The looks I would get from my father were MUCH MORE intimidating than any spank would have been. I think there are ways around physical punishment... but I do not think it is out of line...

I support spanking kids when I get bored

This reminded me off one time I lost my temper. I don't lose my temper very often. But when I do, it comes out in full force.

I was visiting my aunt and uncle with my family one weekend and my aunt had friend who had a child with ADHD. We were told about the child, and I was like fine, whatever.

Well the parents of this boy decided to take off for a while and left the child with my mother and father and myself (this couple didn't even ask if we would watch him which really irritated the crap out of me) anyway, the kid started having an "epsiode". He was running all over and swearing, so I tried ignoring him until he started hitting my mother. He even took of his shoes and threw them at her. Well when he did that I grabbed him by the arm quite hard and I said to him "if I ever see you do that again I will hit you myself." He just laughed at me, so i hit him.

My mother got upset with me because I hit a kid, but damn he deserved it. I don't care if he had ADHD or not. His parents also shouldn't have left him with complete strangers without asking if they would be so kind as to watch him for a bit and tell us what they do if he starts to act up.

I think I was more upset with the parents. When they returned my aunt asked them to leave because they should have left their child unattended like that.