We currently have a member of our chapter who is married but she wasn't when she went through the recruitment process. She got married because of health reasons and it was easier to marry her boyfriend so she could live with him. He helps take care of her and the situation works better for her. Her health problems are pretty bad so she doesn't participate in a lot because of them so I think her situation might be different than most though. :)

If a girl wanted to devote time to the chapter and was an enthusiastic, active member of the chapter I don't think she should be denied the opportunity to join greek life. With that said if she is joining just for something else on her resume (as do many unmarried women do) they shouldn't seek membership.

Re: Re: Re: Married Prospective Members
 

AXiD670, that's exactly it. The situation might be different on a non-traditional campus, but the more you get into "adult" life, the less likely you are to be able to identify with a "traditional" collegiate lifestyle.

Just remembered -

There was a girl on our campus who was a member of another sorority. She was 20 and had been married for 2 years. Well, she pledged XY and then....she got separated! I think the problem was more that she got married too young, and when she got to college and joined a sorority she realized she was too young to be married. But it makes you wonder...;)

I don't think any of the houses at UA would pledge a married student. There was one who came through rush a few years ago, but I think she got cut from almost all the houses pretty early on.

Aww c'mon, AXiD670. Don't sell yourself short. I'm sure he cared; he just wasn't bothered. ;)

Granted, it was many years ago and after a war, but my father was married when he went back to finish college and pledged Kappa Sigma. If the prospective member will make a good brother or sister and can balance the demands of school, Greek life and marriage, and if his or her spouse is willing to be supportive, marital status shouldn't matter.

I see no reason to turn away a married prospective. My home chapter recently brought in someone who is married and so did our brothers. *shrug*

Re: Married Prospective Members
 

We had a married sister in the chapter...she graduated last year. We have another currently. Both participated in as many activities as they could (including sleepovers). It didn't cause any problems.

I may as well have been married in college since I went with the man I ended up marrying the whole time I was in school. I'm not sure what behaviors I had to engage in while a collegiate member of AGD that wouldn't have been appropriate for a married woman. Study hours? Philanthropy projects? Sisterhood nights? Initiation? Recruitment? Greek Week?

The married couples I knew in college were all students. They lived in married housing on campus (which is why they provide such housing!) They led "normal college student" lives. You don't die when you get married.. life goes on, you have a social life, you have interests and activities that don't involve your husband.

Dee

Re: Re: Married Prospective Members
 

Ditto... I agree adpiucf!

Re: Re: Married Prospective Members
 

While some people might agree with that, I think it would greatly depend on how traditional Greek life is on that campus.

My chapter didn't have a house, but we were certainly active on campus and in the community. One of my pledge sisters was already married when we joined AGD. After initiation, not only was she one of the most positive active contributors to the chapter (she served as VP Recruitment for three semesters), her husband was very supportive of her and our chapter too!

She was an exceptional collegiate sister, and her marital status certainly didn't hinder her contributions to our Fraternity.

I say, if a married, full course load carrying PNM whose husband supports her 100%, wishes to join a sorority and knows that she might have to put in extra effort, she should at least be given the opportunity to be considered for invitation.

Wow....

I was married (almost 9 years) when I begain the new member process for Phi Sigma Sigma. I can say that it wasn't a terrible thing. I work full time and was in a graduate...yes I said graduate...program when I begain the process.

Yes it was time consuming...Yes it was a lot of work. But it was MY choice and I was committed to the organization.

Many of you talk as if you die once you get married. NOT!!!! Some of you say things about traditional Greek things and husbands not approving. Well, in my humble opinion, there isn't anything that a Greek Woman should be doing that her husband doesn't approve of.

Greek Women should be women of principle, good citizens, philanthropic, faithful, loyal. They should seek academic excellence and should be active in their communities. If a husband doesn't want his wife to have these qualities, then he needs to check himself.

A husband wouldn't want his wife to be in an organization that is the stereotypical sorority GIRL that is in the movies...always drunk, dummer than dirt, and a slut.

If that is the kind of GIRL in your organization then her husband has every right to not want her to participate.

Each woman needs to set her priorities. The level of activity varies amongst all of the members. I am one of the most active women in my chapter. I have held executive positions, committee chairs, and organized many activities through out the years. I have managed to keep a 3.8 GPA and work every day. We have some women, who are your traditional 18-22 sorority girls who can not say that.

We have several members who are married and/or have children who are more committed to the ideals of Phi Sigma Sigma and promote them through our activites.

So, before you just right all of us married folks off, think twice. You may be missing out on a woman who can teach you a thing or two.

Scooby

Re: Re: Re: Re: Married Prospective Members
 

Hmm... I disagree!

I suppose for some people they wouldn't, but you can never extend these things to everybody. Again, I cite my wonderful boyfriend as an example. He's 32, has child that's 3, and divorced. He is a great asset to his fraternity (rush chair, and security advisor for their partys-- it pays to have an ex-cop do security!), and absolutely loves to do traditional college things, like drink beer, and make friends (although some might argue that this isn't really a traditional college thing, but a people thing). Admitedly, he will make an effort to go get good beer instead of drinking Natty Light, and he says he's not interested in meeting the new freshman sorority girls. Also, there are some things that he does differently becuase he's got his daughter. He takes care of her on certian days, and although he will re-arrange his schedule for improtant events, some things he can't do, if he can't take his daughter with him (for instance, even though he was rush chair, he missed a night of rush since he thought bringing his daughter around would scare some of the PNM's). No one in the fraternity complains, since he is much more active than other members, and ran the best rush the group has ever seen.

Anyway, I hope people realize that there are many kind of situations and people than can make up a successful chapter, and they can happen even on as campus where 98% of students live on campus and most graduate in 4 years.

ETA: Bravo Scooby!

I, personally have no problem with a married prospective member. Many have boyfriends, live ins etc anyway.

Also, I beleive there is no NPC rule against it. There may be a few individul chapters that have rules. I am venturing a guess that on some campuses it is just not talked about but "understood" but last I checked, and once again I haven't read our constitution or Greenbook lately, there are no national NPC's that have rules against it.

But my chapter didn't care. We initiated a pledge class where three were engaged. ( intersting side note: They all broke up and married other people, much later of course, after we had our say about the loser boys they were dating!)

Woo Hoo, Scooby! Very good post!
Silver

The year i went through recruitment, there was a married woman with two kids in my rush group. She was dropped from every house after the first round.

Ofcourse, I'm sure beign married and havign two kids may have been half the reason, she was also a lil weird.


That same recruitment, I met another girl in another group who was a freshman that had had a baby in high school. She got a bid and accepted and has as far as I know been quite an active member in the group...........however, she told me she kept the havign the kid part as secret as she could durign rush and some people that found out after her initiation werent thrilled.

In my chapter though, usually when a member gets married she goes alum, though she has the option of staying active--nearly all go alum though.