My feeling is that no one should be forced to go alum in situations of pregnancy and marriage. I think they should be given the choice. With marriage if the spouse is understanding of the commitments required, it shouldn't be a problem for a member to remail active. As for pregnancy, accidents happen, I just feel a sister who gets pregnant shouldn't be forced to go alum. She should be given the choice on whether or not to go alum. I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense.

No, you made sense... and I agree.

I wasn't clear -

Our policies USED to force women who married to go alum; no longer! We now allow married women to remain as Delta members. EO has not come out and stated a position on pregnancy. Yes, the choice should be hers! While I don't think we should force a Delta member into alum status b/c she's pregnant, I seriously doubt that any new mother can/will live up to Delta-obligations when she has an infant child to care for!

Exactly.

I know that if for some reason I had accidently gotten pregnant in college, I would have wanted to stay active as long as I could because doing things as a collegian are completely different than doing things as an alum. Sometimes I personally don't like being an alum. I say this because I love to get dressed and be in a pretty dress and go to a dance (hint hint on black diamond ball) but you don't get to do that as an alum. Well at least the Phoenix alum don't get to do that. It kind of bites. I'm such a dork. I just miss having an excuse to go buy a pretty dress and get my hair and nails done. LOL.

Brianna, I know what you mean- I was just thinking the other day that I haven't really danced since my wedding 9 years ago. And I used to love to go to ADPi dances! Somehow I can't see my alumnae association having the same type of function. We do different activities that are great, but nothing replaces those good ol' formals & casuals!

A formal would be fun! I wonder if you could entice a bunch of recent sorority alumnae to coordinate that as a Panhellenic thing-- it could be for alumnae of any sorority to attend. Proceeds could go to benefit the local alumnae panhellenic, which would then be put toward scholarships for collegians :) I'm sure that would be a great topic for your town's next Alumnae Panhellenic meeting! And you could advertise it locally, in alum newsletters, web sites, emailing, local churches, Junior Leagues, etc....

I have to admit, I cracked up about the Formal thing. My roomie's husband is an attorney, and she always refers to their annual formal as "The Bar Prom"!

I'm the incoming programming director for my assocation and I'm planning on having a christmas party kind of like winter semi, I think it would be fun I totally want to have a dress up party. So far everyone i've pitched it to thinks it's a great idea.

i love this idea!!!

Oh, I think I have a few years on you, Leslie!

Just two years ago, there was a pregnancy in the local chapter. I don't even want to go into the drama behind the baby shower!

Actives, just as we try to understand your need for tatoos and piercings, you have to try to understand us, too! This is a quickly changing world, and it's hard to keep up when you're a dinosaur!!

I don't have any dinosaur years on me, honeychile, and I'm still on your side of the whole tatooing/piercing/babies/weddings issue!

That is so sad the closest local chapter does not invite you to their Black Diamond Ball! I just got an email today inviting all alums to the local chapter formal in April!

On the other topic....I guess I have seen it all. When I was in the chapter a woman got married and stayed active for her three final years. We initiated an unmarried girl with a child. And two girls became pregnant while in the chapter...one went alum right away and the other wasn't due until after she graduated, so she stayed until she went alum that spring.

The chapter I am from is an awesome chapter and we win top chapter on campus almost every year!! So obviously the "issues" have not caused us any problems.

Just my .02

I think the reason a lot of chapters would prefer an active to go alum once she becomes pregnant is b/c no matter what the circumstance, it looks "bad/funny/weird" to have an unmarried active sister 8 months pregnant standing out side the university center sporting her letters. Recruitment is 365 days a year. And people talk.

Although I think this is a stupid reason, I think it does have some to it (at least it does on our campus).

edited to change 375 to 365... Hey! It was late and I was tired! :D