Old is a state of mind. Grown up, well that one is a little more complicated. I remember being the bride at the shower.....I was the first of my friends to get married, age 22, with most of my girls still in school and living the carefree life. It was like a big game for me, getting all that cool new stuff for our first home, having parties and showers, etc etc. My first reality check was drifting away from my old posse. We just didn't have enough in common anymore and I didn't have the time to invest in trying to stay a part of the group.

The good news is, you will meet new friends who are in the same place you are. Actually, the first few years post-college are actually more carefree in many ways. My first year of marriage was one big party. Our bills were relatively few, we had a lot of discretionary income because we had cheap rent and only one car payment, and since we stayed in town we still had friends who we could go out with. You go to work and you leave your job there at the end of the day, unlike school where there is studying and homework to do. Once we came home from work it was party time.....no one to answer to and nothing to worry about. We'd go out with this other couple we knew from school who had gotten married right away and have a blast, 6 or 7 nights a week. And at the end of the night the hubby and I got to go home together....;) unlike during school. Before the kids come you have such total freedom!!!

Even now, with 2 kids, 2 dogs, a hefty mortgage and 2 SUVs, we still have fun. Saturday nights are reserved for us as a couple and we usually go to our favorite old standby, RAY'S where we used to hang out in college. We have a large group of friends ranging from mid-20s to middle age that we hang out with and we still do the same things and enjoy the same things we always did. Granted, babysitting can be an issue but I have a girl from the chapter who is our regular and I can count on. The thing is, you keep waiting for the day to come when you think differently and feel differently and you realize you're GROWN UP. But that day doesn't come. I am almost 32 and inside I don't feel any different than I did at 18. I make (usually!) better decisions now based on experience....I have people to think about other than just myself (namely my kids) so I have to be more responsible than I might otherwise be. But I understand now that I am the same person I was and always will be. The challenge for me now is to take care of myself so that when I am in my 50s and I want to keep on doing the things I have always loved, I will still be fit and healthy enough to do them.

Sorry for the long post, I just hate to see anyone so young get bummed out about getting "older...." Changes in your life are inevitable and graduating from college and moving on is definitely something you have to grieve a little, but believe me when I tell you that your fun is not over!

I am so glad you said all this!! Seeing the pretty candles on the cake turn into a "towering inferno" is kinda tough to watch. The flip side is that as you get older, you care less and less about the all the crap that is really meaningless in the Grand Scheme of Life. And it gets easier to tell what is a waste of your time & what makes a difference in this world. It is VERY liberating to realize that it really doesn't matter if you are wearing eye shadow or carrying the "right" kind of purse.

And if you never get excited about kitchen dish towels, then you just haven't found the right ones yet :D

I always KNEW this was true! My mother tries to pretend like life after school isn't better than life in school. The way I see it, I have a job AND I go to school. And it's pretty much impossible to be completely caught up in school- no matter how much schoolwork you do, there's always something else you COULD do. But when you're a grownup, you get to have "ME TIME" after you get home from work. Naturally, there's household tasks, but those are still being done for yourself. And this is about the only reason I am excited about growing up- so that I can watch TV and scrapbook and take naps when I get home from work :D

That is very true. One of the best things about being out of school and working is being able to come home from work and do anything you want to do....no homework, no studying for tests. IT is nice.

I've still got a year of school left, plus getting my masters as soon as I get done with my bachelor's degree, and I'm only 20... but I feel like I'm 40... I think it has something to do with getting engaged and then breaking it off and having nothing but long relationships... I've never been on a date with a guy who wasn't already a boyfriend! I want dates with boys I don't know well and then never call again! I've had to deal with a lot of stuff recently, and that's made me feel a little older too... I don't know, maybe I'll become young again once I hit 21 (May 25th!!!)

You must have the wrong sorority letter(s) in your name, because you're clearly my long-lost sister :)

Well, you know, I was from the Delta Omicron chapter of my sorority! :D

Erika, you give the best advice ever! Someday I must meet you.
-Michelle

Re: Re: Re: Growing Up
 

LOL!!!! ;)

That gets kind of old, trust me. ;)

I remember those mixed up feelings of the quarter-life crisis. People don't talk about it, but it happens.

I have to assure you that life in your 30's is good. In fact, I was pretty excited about turning 30 and looked forward to it. Why? Because my 20's were such an up-and-down emotional roller coaster. Too much time spent with the wrong guys in the wrong jobs. I know myself better now. I'm secure in myself, my career, my decisions, my marriage. And like MrsMcCartney, we still have a lot of fun (and more money to have fun with)!

And I'm still hot...:o

Re: the shower thing: Some people like them, some don't. It's great to get gifts, but you also have to come up with a positive reaction for every gift you receive. Harder than you think it will be. ("Thank you for the 24 sets of plastic corn cob holders! I didn't realize they came in avacado. What a fantastic color)

Personally, I am not the type of person to get excited over dishtowels - you might not be either. My china, however, is fucking AWESOME!!!!!

I DEFINITELY know what you mean!!! Out of all my close friends from back at the first university I attended, 1 is already married, and *4* just got engaged.

It sure makes me feel like a rebel - since I'm not in a relationship and all :p

Definitely made me think "dayum... we're getting old!" :p

Thanks!!!! Sometimes I feel self-conscious though when I look back over threads I have posted in....there are all these short, succinct posts and then these three-page jobs I've done!!!!!

Something I have discovered is that you will always be somewhat happy and enthusiastic about life as long as you have something to look forward to. Some people feel let down when they graduate because it's like they have reached the finish line. It's kind of like the post-Christmas depression. But that fades in a few days as you start to anticipate the next fun thing. Plus there are the inevitable surprises that throw some excitement into the mix.

I'm hoping that once all my friends graduate from college that I won't feel as old. My little sister will call me up and tell me about all the fun greek activities that she does and the fraternity parties she goes to on the weekends; I get envious. At the same time, she couldn't go out on Saturday because she had a huge test to study for while I don't have to worry about that anymore. I have my nights and my weekends to do whatever I want and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I have more time to work out at the gym and go out with friends. It's nice. :)
Still, I miss the carefree days of college. I think what is so scary about becoming an adult is all the things that come with it. Marriage, new house, kids, planning for retirement. AHHHHH!!!!! One of my sorority sisters is getting married next month and I'm still in shock. It doesn't seem that long ago that we were both swapping horror stories about dates we went on the night before. :) I was talking to her about her wedding when she said to me, "You and Mr.ZTAngel have been together for 3 years. You know the ring is probably coming soon." I started shaking. Then, I began to hyperventilate. After sitting down and questioning why I freaked out so much, I've realized that it was because I'm just not ready for that step in my life. And that's ok. Just because you're now an adult doesn't mean you have to do "adult stuff". It's taken me a while to realize this and I'm still learning. It's ok not to go back home straight from work and just watch TV until your bedtime....you can go to happy hour and go into work the next day feeling like crap. ("Errr, yeah boss, that damn 24 hour stomach virus. Yeah.....") I've just been so afraid that since I'm graduated from college and I'm in the working world that I can't have fun anymore. Not true! I now have more time to have fun! The only problem is I can't do all the greek stuff anymore because I'd be one of those alum that still comes around way after graduation that everyone makes fun of. ;)

It's also ok to eat ice cream for dinner, just because;)