Are you normal? I don't mean to sound offensive (I know I will) but that has to be one of the most idiotic statements ever. I feel sad that you truly don't understand what a family is about and that you think income has to do with it. Not everyone is so cold-hearted as you to wish they'd lived with a really high-income family that provides them with "good polish."

This is a middle class family. Cut me a break - the only polish involved is the polish they use to shine their SUV which they think is so amazing. They probably eat at a chain steak joint and think that's amazing. They'll send the child to school and will probably be able to afford private school, but more than likely, won't be able to use their name on a building to leverage the child's admission into an elite school.

Oh and hey, I do make a good deal of change, and I'm not even supporting this.

-Rudey
--I swear I can't be the only one here who thinks this is just absurd.

Oh wow!

I couldn't imagine ever being taken away from my family or even sent away temporarily because my parents wanted to giveme something better.
My mother spent part of her childhood (with the rest of her syblings...and even then they were not all placed together) in an orphanage and fosters homes in England because her parents had some sever financial difficulties and could not afford to provide for their children for a period of time. This was a temporary situation until they got back on their feet. It is a very paiful memory for my mother and she rarely talks about it. I do know for a fact that my mother would have given her right eye to go back to her mother. She hated living in foster homes even though she had the things her parents couldn't give her. She wanted nothing more than to be with her family. children should be with their parents.

Material possessions, the best schools, etc, etc do not necessarily make you a better person.

One does not need higher income to have "good polish". I once spoke to a woman whose mom was a concert pianist and her father a pitcher for a local minor league team. Her parents were still able to give her the kind of polish a lady needed. They didn't have matching china or cutlery, yet mom taught her well. The little girl's parents, by the statements I'm reading, can't seem to do that. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I need to speak with them or something like that, but that's how I feel. My grandmother raised me, and she certainly didn't "polish me up".

This is ridiculous. They entered into an agreement which was intended to be temporary, the couple did not speak the English language fluently, and no one advised them to get a lawyer. They love her, they've consistently tried to attain visitation and get custody back. If I were the judge, I wouldn't think twice.

The child belongs with her biological parents. Period.

Totally agreed. In fact the idea of using words like "good polish" is in itself a racist remark. "Good polish" is some western ideal you are trying to throw down on everyone.

Also the idea that religion is better - I always saw religion as being a crutch of the poor. Many wealthy people I knew were "religious".

-Rudey

I'm so sorry that you've come to see yourself as a piece of silverware.

-Rudey
--Needing to be polished

Agreed. Sounds pretty materialistic, and somewhat shallow to me.

Kids who grow up in the poorist families can be very happy -- and be very successful.

My grandmother was raised in Asia and COULD have had good polish as well. Instead, she chose to be what I call "Paris Hilton Lite" (in a 1930s-1940s kind of way...well, as close as you can get to that kind of life in a war situation). The definition of "good polish" in Asia and in the west may seem different, but in reality it really isn't so. My great-grandmother was definitely "polished" from what I understand. She picked her rice grain by grain instead of shovelling it into her mouth.

Yup. I grew up in an affluent family, and lived in an affluent neighborhood. My father was never around because he worked 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. The one thing that I wanted was for him to be around. There are plenty of "poor" children who grew up in a richer family than I did.

I really must resent the situation when anyone sets up Rudey as a voice of reason.

Taualumna, you seem to have definite class issues stemming from your family's background. Considering that it is definitely affecting your judgement, can you see what other people are saying? That polish is less important than a loving family?? That these poor Asian people have as much a right to love their child as the rich white couple??

It is great when families can provide materially, but that's not all that it takes by a long shot.

Why don't you stop blaming your parents for your lack of "polish" and start doing things to imporve yourself. It's never to late to become a refined lady.

What the hell are you getting at?

Wash she any worse a care-taker for you?

I'm sorry but did she abuse you? Starve you? Rent you out for sexual acts?

For this lack of "good polish" you wish you were raised by someone outside of your family?

And yes "polish" according to Chinese standards would be very differeny by Western standards. The west didn't have emperors with spit cups by their chairs for one.

Honestly stuff like this upsets me because I see you as someone with little to no pride. You walk with your head down. That is shameful. You probably deny who you are, deny the culture, the language, the stories, and more.

And back on point, because I really have no desire to deal with your lack of pride, who says this poorer family wouldn't be able to raise their child right? If it's not about money as you said earlier, then why wouldn't they be able to provide "good polish"? Nothing you're saying is making any sense.

-Rudey

Good polish is important later in life, when a child grows up and enters the real world. A child could have had all the love he/she could get, but that love doesn't prepare them for the real world, where "knowing what to do" and "how to do it" is very important. Why else do they have etiquette consultants present seminars in the workplace and to graduating seniors in universities (well, they did at my school, anyway)? They didn't have to do that in the past, because kids WERE polished.

Agree. Money is not a determinate of how loving and successful a family is. I grew up in an "affluent" neighborhood and I watched friends and classmates deal with divorce, domestic abuse, child abuse, and sexual abuse. I even watched a kid in my class deal with the aftermath after his mother was thrown in jail for trying to murder his father after she caught him cheating. This was a very wealthy family!!! These family issues are not isolated in poor families. Wealth will not necessarily mean this child will get a better upbringing. What matters the most is that the biological parents love this child and want to give the child the best upbringing possible although they don't have as much money. Doesn't that stand for something?

Sorry, I was a sociology minor and I took most my classes in family studies. I just hate when people think that being wealthy means the family is classier and more "together". Not necessarily true at all.

You can't seem to answer this. You said money doesn't relate to providing polish and you said Chinese people can have polish. So what the hell does polish have to do with a poor chinese family who seems capable of providing it?

Your polish talk is such nonsense it's ridiculous. If you don't have polish who are you to even understand what it gets you??

-Rudey