zta - - I'm with you. All the girly stuff is on the right side under the sink. Hehe. Joe says the bathroom is my domain, I'm to keep it clean, maintain it, and do whatever I want in there. That's fine with me, he keeps my kitchen clean (most of the time).

Back to the topic at hand, though, it won't be bad. I enjoy it most of the time. :)

Re: Re: Moving in with your GF
 

I agree with everything you said except for the part about living together benefiting the woman more than the man...I think that depends on whose idea it was. Or who ends up paying most of the bills.

For those of you that think that living together is a bad idea - do you ever plan to get married? And when and if you do, do you plan to live together? It's the same thing! So what if it doesn't work out if you try to live together before getting married. At least you found out before the wedding! I mean come on people. Living with your significant other is a great way to truly get to know them. I love my Travis and we fight and we make up and we do EVERYTHING together. Hell, we can't go an hour without calling each other. Speaking of which, here I am at work and he has the day off and my phone is a buzzing....gotta run. Move in together and try it out. It's just a lease - it can be broken if need be but at least give it a try! :)

ARGH! I hate people that think that way. It's so frustrating. I guess I'm just more of a free thinker and positive person than a lot of other people. It is easy to break a lease - there are many loop holes and although it can be a stressful process it can be done swiftly. Besides that, your point about the male furthering the relationship really gets under my skin. If he's gonna propose, he'll propose. If he doesn't - he never would have. If you're thinking about moving in with your gf/bf talk with them in depth first about all different scenarios that might occur - including breaking up and dealing with the lease. Talking up front helps eliminate/dissolve problems when they occur. My boyfriend and I have had some SERIOUS blow outs while living together (he didn't speak to me for 2+ weeks not all that long ago). But we work through it just as we have with everything else that's gone on. I don't know what I would do without him and I know he feels the same way. you just have to at least try. See if there is a place you can rent on a month to month basis or for a short term lease to test the waters. Good luck!

Yes I do plan to get married but I don't need to cohabitate to see if it works or not. The serious relationships/engagements I have been in all gave me a window into living with them since we spent a lot of time together. Trips, staying over, house sitting, spending more time together due to demonic roommates, you get to realize things without signing a lease or moving in together. By the time I actually marry someone, I will know these details, or I would NOT be marrying them. I also have taken a few classes and more often than not the research therein has shown that people who live together before marriage, divorce more often. (The theory being that the whole committment of marriage isn't viewed as strongly by people who have had the option to just move out, though there are others as well). I also know plenty of people who move in together, and IF they ever have gotten married, they divorce.

I can see why people want to live together, but it just isn't for me. I'm with Hootie on most of this, it is all about premarital counselling, and I know there are plenty of men with the free milk, no cow purchase agenda. However I avoid those guys like the plague. After my wedding and honeymoon I want to have this whole new experience to look forward to, not come home and it be the same. If I have waited this long, what is a few more months?

If we're moving in together, he's already seen my girly stuff all over my apartment, and he'll just have to deal. :p

I was not personally attacking you at all so don't get all pissy yourself. I was simply stating that I don't agree with that way of thinking. I don't think you understood what I was trying to say so I'll just stay out of this thread.

Good luck to anyone wanting to move in with their significant other. It was the best decision I ever made and encourge you to do the same. That is all.

Right now I dont know what to think. It sounds like a good idea, but I've had friends who did the same thing and it ended badly. Then again the girls they were dating were pyscho chicks and lil'hoes. As for who's idea it was, it was both of ours in a way. I was thinking it when we were talking about what we were going to do after May and she brought it up. So it was a mutual thought. But after I watched that movie I didnt know what to think.


Some of you made good points. For example, I've got 2 black leather couches that are the most comfortable couches in the world. Its like they mold around your body when you sink into them. Now, she complains that they make her hot if she lays on them for too long and has me turn the a/c down to 65 but then covers up with one of the little blankets I have sitting on the couches. Personally, I think she just gets random hot flashes but she thinks its the couches. In any case, I'm not getting rid of them no matter what. My parents bought them for me and they'd be pissed if I sold them, they probably wouldn't buy me any more furniture if I did that. Then there's the issue about my dog. My bed is just high/low enough for my dog to jump up on and big enough for him to sleep on at the end. When she sleeps in it she doesnt allow my dog to sleep at our feet unless its sunday mornings. All week long I let him sleep in it, if I don't he thinks he did something wrong. Her bed is really high and hard. Its like the bed itself is marble and it has these marble posts at the end. The actual bed must have been made for short people, if we leave all the pillows on it my feet end up dangling off at the end....which means there's no room for my dog to sleep. Naturally, she wants her bed to be the one in the apt. The good thing is she said I could keep my turntables if we kept her bed, along with all my records and my sound equiptment...but I have to loose the black lights. It just seems like she laid down some rules for me and I don't know what to think of it. It feels like she's laying down guidelines but giving me just enough playroom to shut me up. I don't feel stiffeld because it seems more like a quid pro quo situation, its just different than what I'm used to. The way I look at it, I'll always have a clean apt if we live together. She's always cleaning my shit and her apt is always in order. My shower is no longer black and my sinks are always clean. She changes out my old tooth brushes and the mirrors never have those water stains on them. The toliet is always gleaming and my living room always smells good from all the candles she burns in it. I figure if she does to our apt what she does to my apt and hers right now....it couldn't be that bad.



James-

Its not really playing house. We're both going to have to live in Miami next Jan and if you know anything about south florida, nice apts and/or houses are not cheap in good areas. The way we're looking at it is that we could have a place together, not tell our parents and put all that extra money to better use such as putting it in stocks and mutual funds ( at least thats how I'm looking at it). Since I've lived in Jacksonville my parents have been here 1 time, and they didnt even come to my apt...we met out for dinner and went to the Florida/Georgia football game. I already figured it out, I'll be saving about 1,775.00$ a month living together in Coral Gables as opposed to living by my self. Dude, do you know what kind of cycle that could get you?;) Hell, do you know what kind of car I could get for that much money each month? And the mother fucker would be paid off by the time I finished law school.

The main down side to it all is that I could never have any of my Swedish or German chick friends come over to visit for a couple of weeks at a time....and they are all wanting to come visit this summer. I think she doesnt like them anyway, I told her how I knew them all before I met her and that we're only good friends. She seems to know that guys and girls can never be "good friends" without sex being involved....at least with me she thinks thats the case. She's met one German chick and one Swedish chick in Orlando when we saw both of them @ House of Blues. She doesn't like them. That said, I'll have to cut all ties to them.

Suggest to your friends that they stay at a hotel when they visit so you can see them :p

Damn, Richard, where hell have you been?:cool:

The quoted user above is a racist and an antisemite.

-Rudey
--The shame of being a bigot.

Kept a low profile for a while, and didn't go to some forums :).

Further on what you said in yr post, it seems you're saying there are financial and domestic advantages in addition to getting to be there with her in your place. I don't know if you will turn into a henpecked doormat... I think sure you'll have to compromise on things (as you have done) as with any relationship but you'll just be around each other more for it to happen so you'll notice it more?

You are exactly right about S. Florida real estate. Decent apartments in safe areas are extremely pricey.

Why not just get a big apartment with two bedrooms? One can have your bed and your stuff, decorate how you want, the other can have her stuff. One two bedroom is still cheaper than two one-bedroom apts. You can switch back and forth between the rooms once a week or once a month. Works pretty well because each person still has their own "space" but you're still together.

I thought about doing that, but one bedrooms look so much better and have huge bathrooms with big ass tubs to get crazy in. One down side to having only a one bedroom is the fact that she has a lot of clothes and will probably take up 3/4 of the closet. Her closet is always messy with shit spilling out all over the place....mine is organized ( might be the only organized thing in my apt) with the shoes all lined up and the clothes categorized for their occasion. It'll be interesting to see how it'll mingle.

The quoted user is a racist.

-Rudey
--The shame of being a bigot.