If you're talking about my scenario, this woman just did not want to be a greek. She wanted to marry her boyfriend, become a nurse, and disappear into the backwoods. She came right out and told us that she had been forced to rush. At the time, no one had to go to any magic amount of parties, and she only came to our parties.

If there hadn't been so much drama surrounding her situation (ie: nightly calls from EO), I would have felt sorry for her. On the upside, her roomie DID want to be a greek, and we pledged her with joy!

I think it really has to do with the national because some I think have stricter rules than others. I don't know our exact rules because we have had very few legacies but I am pretty sure we have very specific rules about what they need to be invited back to and what we have to do if we don't want to invite a legacy back. And I think there is a situation where we don't have a choice and have to give a bid.

Most likely, that happens if you invite a Legacy PNM to Preference round. I think that in most groups, when you do that, the Legacy PNM is required to be at the top of your bid list or something along those lines.

Yeah, I have heard of that before but I was actually referring to something else. I believe we are required to give a bid to people that get recs from the National President. I so have to double check that though/

There's a difference between being a woman and being ladylike which you don't seem to grasp.

And anyway - taking care of yourself, as in taking regular showers or baths, and not cussing like crazy in front of people you barely know isn't just ladylike - it's peoplelike!! If you haven't mastered these basic social skills perhaps an institution of higher learning (let alone a Greek org) is not the place for you. If she's a "great person" I would think she would be cognizant enough to pick up on the fact that these things will hinder her in life.

Even if you're in debt up to your eyeballs, if you can manage to get to college you can keep yourself clean and neat and be polite.

When I was a sophomore at Ole Miss we had to release a PNM because she was not desireable in any way possible. She did not have her grades, she uncouth, obnoxious, rude, and very very unladylike in public. The chapter invited her back to second round and then after that she was released and not invited to Pref Round. Of course her sister who was an AOII was upset, but she understood since her sister was released by all 10 sororities.

At my chapter of AOII (Nu Beta chapter), we do not release a legacy unless she is undesirable, has horrible grades, and is uncouth, loud, rude, etc. Also, as Chapter Adviser I encourage members to really think before they decide to release a legacy. Also, as an adviser I can challenge any releases they chapter has during MS sessions.

In my view, being a legacy, I would think twice and I would just try to remember that you might be losing an alumna who is dedicated to the sorority financially and she might be a great, wonderful volunteer....so the consequences of losing her could be very harmful to the chapter.

We certainly do all have faults. What we also have in common on this board is that, for the most part, we are or want to be members of organizations who choose their members based on the attributes presented. I don't know if you are a member of a GLO (it appears from your posts that you are). Please don't tell me that your GLO has NO deliberative process for membership, because I think that you do. You take your members based on certain criteria particular to your organiztion. All of that includes "judging" the potential members in some way. If you are a member of a GLO then you have voted on new members. What criteria did you use, if not your first, second or third impression of them and/or the recommendations of your members?

tld221
 

please remember that while the sorority chapters are meeting and evaluating pnm's they (the pnm's)are doing the same thing-choosing which chapters they will revisit and dropping those that they don't like, for whatever reason. it is mutual selection.

Wow. I would have literally hit the floor if I opened a rec from our International President when I was in school!

Ours came from the International President, two other International Officers, and her grandmother, who had a high office - each listing the five generations back to the Adelphean Society.

Like I said, high drama!!

We had one girl this past recruitment 2003, now a new initiate of AOII, who had her rec written by our past international president, Carole Jones. It was pretty impressive. However, the actives would have chosen her regardless of her rec, she had and still has everything that we look for in a new member of AOII.

Wow, I AM starting to feel sorry for this girl. You would think she would have went someplace that didn't have ADPi and avoided the situation if she didn't want to be Greek.

Similar situation as honeychile's, we had a 4-generation legacy. At least one relative had been an International officer of some sort, all women were very involved and I think almost all female relatives (like 15-20 some) had gone our org except two that went a different org (and someone was not happy). We had quite a few recs for her.

I know the mother was calling her every night to see how things were going and always asked what she thought of our house. I ended up preffing her because everyone else in the house was scared or had a hard time talking to her. She was a charming, if off-beat, young lady and was a wonderful asset to our chapter. She later confided to me that I was the reason she chose our house because I told her to do what she wanted to do, she was the one who had to be a part of our chapter, not her mom or grandma or anyone else. Her younger sister is now a member of our chapter as well.

On the reverse, we had a legacy one year who was very rude, unkempt, and had poor manners. She boasted about how she knew she was a legacy to our house and another and how one of them had to take her. She would not have been a good fit with our chapter and was released early in the week.

One of the things our national always says to us is for every legacy who isn't extended a bid you have the potential to lose the support of 5 alumnae. And it makes sense, if an alumna is very active and a legacy through her doesn't get a bid I am sure she will complain to her alumnae friends and they will all be less likely to be involved in the future.

Looking back, I think she handled it the only way an 18-year old could, and still expect her daddy's allowance. She did what was expected of her, got initiated at Convention, and rode off into the sunset. I certainly wouldn't expect a 6th generation legacy from her, though - unless her grandmother & great-aunts get to her! :)