I think they are all evil .. .

Whatever... :rolleyes: ;) :p

Bingo.

-Rudey

Those women are living in a dream world. What makes them think that being a full time mom will make their lives stress free? What makes them think that they have any control over whether their husbands stay with them? Going to the gym and getting facials? If that is what makes a marriage work, then why would beautiful celebs get divorced? How many men out there make $800,000 a year? What happens when Mr. Moneybags gets in a car accident and becomes a paraplegic with enormous medical bills? What happens if Mr. Moneybags gets tired of this wife who has nothing more interesting to talk about every day than facials and who was at the spa? A stress free life, while married with kids?????? Guaranteed no divorce? There are no such things. This is reality, not a TV show that we can script.

As to a more realistic outlook, I think that when a family decides together that the woman is going to stay home with the kids, that is terrific. I think when a family decides together that the woman is going to work part time while the kids are young, that is terrific. When a family decides that the best thing for them is both of them working full time, it's terrific. If the family decides that the man is going to stay home with the kids, that's terrific too. The whole point of feminism was to have choices and work out what is best for the individuals involved.

Personally, if I had stayed home with my two colicky babies when they were infants, I'd have gone mad. I agree with Kristin AGD that it would be way more fun to be home with them now that they are a little bit older. I would enjoy being their lunch mom, going on every field trip, helping with the school store, etc. However, as a working (single) mom, I do go to half of all the field trips (that's what vacation time is for). I'm a cub scout leader and was a soccer coach when they were into that. I also volunteer for AGD and work full time. I also know that when I was home on maternity leaves (and a medical leave), I felt as if a large part of my identity was gone. I was depressed and felt isolated from the real world. I can't be kept busy enough or stimulated enough from staying home.

I also agree with the poster who said teaching was the ideal profession. I absolutely wish that I had gone into teaching... maybe for my third career!

Dee

Wow - I know women like this! I don't think this concept is that new.

Having children is the most rewarding thing I've ever experienced. I worked for three years after my first was born, and then decided to stay at home once the second one came along. I was fortunate that my mother kept her, and I never had to experience the world of daycares. For me, it was difficult to work and only have a few hours each night with my children - it never felt like real quality time because I started fixing dinner the minute I got home, and by the time that was over it was time to give my baby a bath and put her to bed. I spent my weekends running to the grocery store, or doing errands I never had time for during the week.

I've been a stay at home mom now for about six years, and have loved most every moment. Being around for my girls and being involved with school activities has been very important to me. It has been a personal choice, and I don't regret giving up my job in the least. I have spent my days playing with the girls, fixing perfect dinners, meeting friends for lunch and getting involved with the community through the Junior League. My youngest will start Kindergarten in another year, and I am now seeking a master's degree in hopes that I can find something part time or a job flexible enough for me to stay involved with my girls. I personally think that while being at home when they are young is important, being at home during those turbulent adolescent years is just as important.

Staying at home is not for everyone. It is NOT an easy job. There seems to be a major misconception that all SAH moms do is sit around eating bon bons and watching soap operas. It is just as challenging and stimulating and busy as working full time. You find an identify for yourself that is just as important as a career.

Working full time with children is not easy either. It's hard to get everything accomplished in a household between the evening hours and weekends. I know some women who could not WAIT to get back to work because they did not want to stay at home with the baby! And that's okay too - work gave them a release and they were probably better mothers because of it. It is not easy juggling everything - career, family, self but many women find a way to manage it all.

I admire both women who choose to stay at home with their children, and women who choose to work after having children. Both situations are incredibly challenging, and neither is easy.

I read an article recently that said the number one reason why new mothers leave their jobs is because they don't get the support they need at work. Support means the option to work part time or from home or having a day care facility on site. They have unsuccessfully attempted to juggle children and careers so they quit. I know a few women who have done this, none of whom are married to men earning $800,000. Being a mother is a really hard job.

My mother stayed at home and returned to the work force when my youngest sister entered high school. She had earned a law degree while she raised us so that helped. :)

I'd really like to stay home with my kids for awhile when they are young - but will it happen? The ideal of a one-parent working family is only realistic for those who can afford it.

In Canada you can take up to two year off when a child is born (split between one or both parents) without your company being technically allowed to replace you - and my signifigant other would love to take a year off to help raise our children (when we have them). But it's totally not acceptable for a man to take a year off yet. Even if he couldn't be fired, I think he's right to assume that such a decision would not be accepted by management.


I once worked with a guy who honestly believed that most women went to university for this. :rolleyes:

Reading some of the threads on here where girls feel a lot of pressure to get engaged or lavaliered before graduation, that doesn't sound too far from the truth . . .

I don't many men at all that feel pressure (except from their GF's) to get engaged or lavaliered before the end of college.

So if you compare it, it looks like many girls do go to school for that MRS. Degree. Although I am willing to concede that they may approach it like a dual degree. :p

One of the girls in the article said that she went to Nightingale-Bamford. For all those of you not from NYC, Nightingale-Bamford is an extremely elite, prestigious, all-girls school on the Upper East Side. Tuition there goes to like the 20 thousand range by the time you hit high school. At least it does now, no clue what it was when she went there. Anyhoo, my point is, I find it a little weird that her family would invest so much money into sending her to an all girls school where she could learn that women can be more than just a housewife and a mother if all she's doing is quitting her job to have children and be supported by her husband. Maybe that's just me, but it really saddens me.

Yeah, I'm actually triple majoring. Econ, PoliSci, and MRS. My GPA sucks in the MRS department. :(

It can happen if you prepare for it and are willing to give up some things. (Unless, of course, you are married to one of those men who makes $800,000 per year!)
If it something you want, work to stay debt-free and put some money into savings for a rainy day. I could not afford to stay at home with my first child, but when I went back to work I used my salary to pay off debts until my second child was born 2 1/2 years later. We pretended that we had only one income - my husbands, and used mine to pay everything off and save a little. It worked. In the process, we learned how to manage on one salary, and were better prepared for when I finally did resign.

There are tons of ways to save money - you definately learn when the sales are at stores, and shop seasonally - buy clothes at clearance prices. I'm not talking cheap clothes either - if you hit the stores at the right time - you will pay $10.00 for the great Chaus or Liz dress instead of the original $80.00. Coupons are like cash at the store. Did you know that Walmart will match any sale price on every item they carry?

We drive older cars (they are paid for), and don't live in a mansion. But I think we are doing okay. We save for vacations, and are able to take some fairly nice trips every year. You may not be vacationing in the bahamas, and you might be doing your own nails, but it can be done. For most, it just boils down to what and how much you are willing and able to sacrifice.

I think that it costs about $10,000 per year to raise one child. That doesn't include private school tuition or saving for college. That is a lot of money especially if only one parent is working. AXO Mom gave some good tips on how to make staying at home an option.

All girls' schools tell girls that they can make a choice, and be proud of their choice. If that girl wants to be a stay-at-home mom, then she has the right. She should be happy and proud that she is doing that, and people shouldn't be upset about it. I went to an all girls' school, and I intend to stay at home as well.

Just so you know, James...I felt no pressure. :p In fact, the Mr and I are the only couple in our circle to survive 6 months after graduation.

Nightingale, in my opinion, seemed more of a finishing school. Knowing a lot of alums, it seems almost natural that at least one would have the aim of being a Wife. :)

As for me, my mommy was a SAHM, and still is, even though I'm not at home anymore. It was good for me, and I'd like to have one parent home with my children at least until kindergarten. Mr is in school to be a teacher, so he will have a compatible schedule, and Mini-Mes are 10 years down the road, so I'll have a considerable nest egg saved. Also, architects can work from home quite easily...

Sometimes I think this just happens! Lots of women get caught up in having a candlelight ceremony of some kind before they graduate! And in a world of uncertainties (getting a new job, a place of your own etc) - hanging on to something (a MR/MRS?) after school seems to be a stablilzing force for many people. A lavalier or engagement ring may offer assurance that some things will remain the same in the midst of many changes. Employment, marriage, and babies are the next steps people traditionally take upon graduation.

I can tell you that I never set out to become a stay at home mom - I was going to work and the babies could go to daycare. I loved my job, and did not plan to let children interfere with my career. This is what I said until I had my first child. Once I had her though - I wanted to stay with her and cried the day I had to go back to work. Becoming a stay at home mom just happened. Sometimes these babies just pull your heartstrings in a way nothing else can.

I personally think it is great that these women aspire to stay home with their children and have family time. But women need to know they can do it this on a much smaller budget too. I don't like the fact that these women are putting so much weight on the financial side.