Oh James, you always say the sweetest things.

I'd really advise spending the summer in Mexico first. One, it will give you an idea of what you're getting into. Two, I bet you'll come out of it nearly fluent. I'm really worried about your mother in law to be though.

I understand why he stays at the restaurant. But why are you still there? If they treat you so crappy, I'm sure that you can find a better job elsewhere.

The summer should also help you decide whether or not you want to finish up. Don't leave school just because you think you have no friends or are feeling left out in the aftermath of your chapter closing.

i think spending the summer there is a good start. you will get to know the area and his family better and be able to make an informed decision.


this is exactly like my ex's family. the thing is that they will not change. they will expect that you have the same level of respect, too. i don't think you would be disrespectful on purpose, but certainly you may find that the level of respect is different. with my ex's mom, she expected to decorate his house. she would choose the things on the walls, the color of the bathroom, where the pots went in the cupboards, etc. this made me nutty. i was like, it will be my house and if i want a pink bathroom with a pink fuzzy toilet seat cover then i can have one. he said, nope, my mom doesn't like those and she would never pick pink. my mom will certainly throw in her two cents, but i really don't have to listen. in his family, his mom rules! oh, and then there was the added bonus of his mom living with us. not because she was sick, or dying or bc her house burned down.....because she is expected to live with her eldest son. end of story. and i won't even get into the whole idea that the wife should serve her husband....

it is a lot easier for us to change because we are still young and flexible....for his mom, she will probably be steadfast in her opinions and may even make your life a living hell. i really thought that i could handle his family provided that they lived far away. honestly, i always knew that i couldn't be happy with them in our lives. as someone else said, unfortunately, the family really does make a difference.

I absolutely 100% agree w/ everyone saying you should go down to Mexico and spend an extended period of time. Mexico is like TOTALLY different from the states. My mother is from Mexico D.F. and she married my daddy whose from the states and we go to Mexico a lot (including just this past X-mas). Jobs are very hard to come by no matter what city you are in so that also must be taken into consideration.

If moving down there and marrying him is what you really want to do and it is what your heart is telling you to do then go for it. But if you are having any doubt was so ever...then maybe its not the best for you.

Oh, that is just TOO scary.............I would have gone ballistic.