I really find that to be foul. My roommate is always using the bathroom with her boyfriend in there and it totally grosses me out!

As someone who has talked to two different pastors for counseling on this very topic in the past week, my feeling is that:

When you are willing and do give 100% to your relationship, putting that person in the front of whatever your plans may be

AND

When that person ALSO is willing and does give 100% to your relationship, putting you in front of whatever plans are made.

Marriage isn't 50/50% - it's 100/100% There's a lot of sacrifice involved, but it has to be made by both partners, not just one. It's when you start to think as "we" and "our" and forget about "me" and "mine".

Quote:

Originally posted by lifesaver

I'm guilty of doing that with my ex-boyfriend. And he and I were very serious... we did discuss marriage once randomly on the beach and we were like yeah, let's get married! It felt right at the time... but months later we broke up after a year and a half, we just grew apart... and now I know it wouldn't have been the right decision for me, being the person I've become now and the same for him.

I will probully Jinx myself for saying this...
 

You just know.


Sad to say because when i wasnt in love i would HATE when people say that but now that I am and have been for a good time I just know.

Its when you get the butterflys ALL the time. When he is all you think about. When for once you heart and you head tell you its right.


You just know....and one day it just clicks and life FINALLY makes sense.:)

Re: I will probully Jinx myself for saying this...
 

I'm just wondering what you consider a "good time." Two years when you're a college junior is a lot different from two years when you're out of college.

It's also kind of true that it's really about timing... You can be insanely compatible with someone, but just not be ready to be together and settled forever - based on the experiences of so many people I know and know of (and myself), it's not just love. That's not enough. You have to be mature and ready to handle a relationship.

So if you are ready, you can meet and just know and it will work. But if you're not, you can meet and know and love each other and still it won't work. Did that make any sense?

I agree. I also agree with the posts from MereMere and honeychile

That's probably why I'm not ready to get married yet. I don't want to sound selfish, but there have been relationships in my past that I gave more and them less, and I wound up putting things I valued and hoped for on hold.

It's all about compromise in my opinion. I don't believe anything is ever 100%/100%. No one can get along and come to a conclusion that benefits both all the time. It's a matter of making concessions and knowing the limits of the relationship.

But marriage is a whole different story :p

P.S. I TOTALLY believe in pre-marriage counseling with a religious figure! I think that is EXTREAMLY important and from what I've heard it puts EVERYTHING out on the table. Lets face it, there are certain issues couples don't always think of until it's too late.

I've always thought it was the whole "when you know, you know" thing, too.... But I thought I knew once, got scared, and bailed on him.

It only took nearly 3 years, a long different relationship and break up with someone else, and a ton of idiots I've dated to realize I screwed up. Now I'm hoping I'll be able to get a second chance and actually let myself go with it this time...