but totally true.

I'd hate it if my hot new husband gained 230 lbs in the first two months. Even if it was due to my fabulous cooking.

I'd be like, HONEYMOON PERIOD, baby. What happened?

A good way to let them pick their own but not be too terribly different or be all different colors, is to pick something like the styles at David's Bridal. That's what I did... I picked a color from the separates line and told them all the color. They ended up picking the same dress anyway, but the point is, it WOULD have worked if they had all wanted different styles.

great advice girls! I hope to use it someday.

and a tip from the single girl: for the sake of your friends, think of things to talk about besides your wedding and your gifts. I know its a big day but so many of my friends become "me me me" machines for their entire engagement periods.

Maybe y'all could help me...

Last spring I got engaged to a Wonderful DTD I met at school when we were both mascots for the university. We have both graduated, and he is now in the Air Force, and stationed in Japan, while I am back in my hometown, Colorado Springs. He is the Most Amazing man, and I Can't Wait to marry him.

My problem? My fiance and I have Always planned on paying for the wedding ourselves, and having a party-type atmosphere, which will include All of his fraternity boys, and all of my sorority girls. We budgeted it out to be under $6,000. I've always wanted to pay for my own wedding, because, this isn't a Dowry, for Crying Out Loud. My parents, however, feel that it is Wrong and Bad for us to pay for it, and Insist that they will be Mad if we don't let them pay. However, they say that my family isn't the type to have a Big Party, and that they will only pay for a Cake and Champagne Reception. All the plans I wanted are Shattered.

I can't find a happy medium. My parents Refuse to compromise, even on splitting the costs. I feel like that their insistence is Partriarchal, and Demeaning, but they are my parents (and we are Very Close under Normal circumstances), and I don't want to Let Them Down.

Is Eloping my Only Way Out? It's too bad media makes weddings out to be such a Big Deal. I'm at the point where I don't even want one, I just want to Be Married.

Any advice?

So, let me see if I get this right...

Your parents are demanding that they pay, but won't pay for the type of reception you want.

That seems... odd? Why are they against it? Why are they so adamant you don't contribute?

I posted my "bit" before, but we are actually having two receptions. The first one my parents are paying for, and it will be a cocktail and hors d'oeurves reception (sounds similar to cake and champagne that your parents want). It will be calm, serene, and fancy. It'll be mostly family and some close friends. My parents certainly didn't demand it be this way, but it seemed to make the most sense within our budget and wanting to keep it semi-small (Family + Close friends... about 130)

Saturday night, FH and I have having a PAR-TAY.... so that all of my sisters and his brothers and all of our other friends can come and just have a good time. We're paying for that one, since neither our parents nor us felt it was fair to have them pay for two receptions. This one will be more like... who knows... 300 people? More? But it will be casual and fun and probably rather rowdy. We're not doing anything fancy, just renting a park pavillion or something and serving burgers, subs, and beer, etc.

Could an option like that work for you?

Thanks for the imput, Ginger.

I don't know why my parents are doing this. All of the Sudden, out of Nowhere, they have become Traditional. It just kills me, as I am a very Non-Traditional kind of Girl (i.e., I have picked a Tea-Length wedding dress).

You know, it's funny, but I Never thought of having Two Seperate Events. We had talked about having something after what my parents want, but felt it was Strange to have Cake early, and the Party later. Maybe doing it on Two Different Evenings is a Better way to go.

Keep the suggestions coming! I appreciate Any input, about Any aspect of weddings!

Just out of curiosity, has anyone had/been to a Theme wedding?

I went to a wedding where there were two receptions on the same day. The first was the cake and more of a formal affair. It was held at the bride's parents' house (these people are freaking rich so they have a huge house and a lot of land... the ceremony was held on their land, and a horse-drawn carriage brought the bride and groom from the ceremony site up to the house). The second reception was a PARTY. I didn't think it was weird to have both on the same day, and you have to consider that people who are close to you and may want to come to both may not be ABLE to spend all that time there. I know we couldn't have gone to the second reception if it had been the next day. But it is a good idea, and either way would definitely be something to think about so that you can have the wedding that you really want :)

ETA: The wedding I'm talking about was fairly early in the day... about 1 pm I think, and the first reception was right after. The second reception started at 6 or 7 and was held at a nearby hotel.

Ginger, can I come to the Sat. party?

THAT sounds like fun.

And cheap. Make them bring their own beer.

If I had to do it all again, I'd elope!!

ThetaGrrl, remember the Golden Rule: "Whoever has the gold, makes the rules." If you're paying for the reception yourself, you should be able to have the reception you want!

I've heard that cake-and-punch or cake-and-champagne receptions are traditional in the South, so I'm guessing this is your family's background - correct me if I'm wrong.

How about something like this? A morning ceremony followed by cake and champagne in your church's social hall, then everyone's invited to a gala evening reception hosted (and paid for) by you and your fiance. If your parents don't like it - they don't have to go. :p

Hey, all of GreekChat can come!

Now THAT could get rowdy :D

AMEN!! It's one day...

Why do women do this and not men????

I don't want to deny it is a big deal, but you are a woman with many other dimensions/goals besides "bride"...

I have seen many women get so wrapped up in the one day that, after the wedding and honeymoon are over and done with, they face post-wedding day depression because there's nothing else like it to occupy their time/energy anymore! (This is one reason why I won't live with the man I'm going to marry before we get married...I'll still have "newness" to brighten my day: developing life as a married couple!)

Please maintain your identity and interests....

ZTAngel - your parents must know mine because they told me the same thing. If I elope they will put the money that they would have spent on a HUGE wedding into a down payment on our first home. You better believe I'm taking that offer. When my boyfriend and I finally do get married we're just going to go elope to Vegas and come back and my parents - and probably his too - are going to throw us a party with food and LOTS of alcohol! :) It's the best thing, especially for us, because I don't want to put up with my family during the wedding planning process and I know he will NEVER wear a tux! We'll get the best of both worlds - a new home and a great celebration of the beginning of our lives truly together.

Jaggergirl: I'm with you 100%! To be honest, it was Mr. Mox who gossiped to his friends about the wedding. LOL He actually said, "Gee, now that the wedding is over, what am I going to talk about with them?" It was so bizarre to hear that come out of his mouth. :p