![]() |
He sounds like a real winner ZTAngel. The gambling issue would have been the dealbreaker for me. Why are you moving in with and marrying someone who has a gambling addiction? It's not like it changes once you're married. Then you end up having to be the "money police" and try to make sure he doesn't spend ALL of it. Then it gets more complicated once kids come into the picture...
It seems like some women will put up with anything just to get engaged/married and be able to say that they have someone. It's sad because she probably feels as though she can't do better. I predict that they'll be divorced within a few years and she'll probably come looking for you and all of her other friends. |
I'm currently dealing with a friend who's in a TERRIBLE relationship. They moved into together after 8 months of dating, she moved out 3 months after when she found out he was sneaking around with his ex-fiance, and now she's planning on moving BACK in with him (breaking her apartment lease 6 months early) at the end of January.
Every day I get emails, texts, and calls about something he's done. Hanging up on her, telling her they never should've gotten back together, leaving her place during a fight when she's crying because he "doesn't want to deal with her." She bent over backwards to make things work with him and he walks all over her because he knows he can. Here's what REALLY annoyed me- she moved out into her own place yet just paid $350 to get a pipe fixed in HIS house because his heat wasn't working! AND she makes him dinner every night, he eats then goes back to his place. His excuse is that he doesn't like being at the apartment because she never should've moved out. Um, maybe he shouldn't have been talking to his ex-fiance every day! Oh, and did I mention that he hits on me in front of her? We live in different states so I've only met him twice, but I get texts from her phone about hooking up with me, how hot I am, he'll leave her to be with me, etc. And she just laughs all this off! He said this stuff in front of my bf once and I thought he was going to punch him. Can you tell I hate this guy? :p |
One of my wife's friends has a relationship like the one you just described... although those two have a kid (he's never paid a dime of child support) and live in different states, the jackass still finds ways to make her miserable despite the fact he's a 10 hour drive away.
I just can't comprehend why anyone would keep in contact with someone who was abusive or obviously incompatible. Threads like this make me thankful for my wife :D |
It seems like everyone's got one of these. I have a friend who is engaged to a guy whom we all hate.
He was 25 when they met and she was 20. He liked to tell her what to do, and she thought it was "cute." He pretty much controlled her social life. For example, if we were going to do a "girl's night," he would give her a hard time about going somewhere without him. So she only went places when he was invited to come along. After 6 months of dating, they got engaged. She (against her parents wishes) broke her dorm room contract (she was 20 and a college soph) to move 45 minutes away into his house. She's now 23. They still live together and have been engaged for 3 years. They have pushed back the wedding date 3 times, because at least once a year, they have a big blow up, he calls the wedding off, kicks her out, says he's sorry and takes her back, and they start planning all over again. He controls everything. It's his house, and he controls where she goes and who she hangs out with. She complies because she doesn't want to get into an argument and get kicked out of the house. He even controls the wedding planning. For example, he just found out that her dad doesn't like him, so no one on her dad's side of the family is invited. The venue is in his hometown. He chose the colors. He even chose the women who would be in her bridal party (he told her that he wouldn't marry her if her best friend was a bridesmaid). When confronted by friends and asked "why do you let him have so much control over stuff?" She says that she "just wants to get married and doesn't really care about the silly details." Um, favors are silly details! Telling you who to invite is more than a silly detail. Yet she does everything he says because she loves him. It's really sad. |
Quote:
|
I am so glad I got out of my situation before it came to any of these stories. I saw it starting and there were enough warning signs that were apparent to me and others that it was a lot easier to end it. The thing is even if you leave, these kind of men work hard to keep some kind of hold or connection, and that can drag out and it still isn't over.
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
My Dad disliked my now-ex brother in law. My sister insisted on marrying an idiot and having 4 kids with him. Now, she has finally seen the light and is going to be paying financially for her mistake for the rest of her life. The older I get, I the more I appreciate just how smart my parents really are. |
Quote:
Jay is a normal guy. He is trying to accomplish one of the most difficult maneuvers know to man. It is called the switch. The switch is when you go out with one roommate and then switch and go out with another roommate or friend. |
Quote:
Quote:
|
Quote:
I never realized that leaving is the easy part and the hard part is what comes after until I was in that situation. If I had known what I'd have to go through after the fact, I might have just played nice until the lease was up and I could get my family here and save up money to make a cleaner break. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
I just found this thread, and I can't tell you how much I identify with the situation. I used to be best friends with one of the girls I'm living with, but soon before we moved in, she got herself involved with this terrible crappy guy who likes to control her life. She had always been with one of those types...you know, she's one of those girls who cannot bring herself to not be in a relationship. Every time something ended, a week later she was with a new douchebag.
The guy she's dating now is unfriendly, emotionally controlling, and super annoying because he is ALWAYS on my couch and I can never get anywhere near the TV...which is my TV btw...whenever he comes up to visit (which is like every other weekend). I can't tell you how many times I've overheard screaming fights, him crying, her crying, ect. He is inconsiderate of the fact that I live there too, and is totally cold to me, in my own apartment. And on top of it, since he hates me (he thinks because I'm in a sorority I'm a bad influence on her and a total drunk. I'm risk management, but...whatever), I can't be friends with her. She's actually gotten totally cold to me since they've been dating. So many weekends he's up here, throwing out any unopened alcohol that someone left on the table, because its "immoral". Yes, I know its cheap beer, and I'm not going to make this loser drink it, but its totally rude that he is throwing out my property. It's sad really...I can't say anything about his unhealthy and controlling behavior because she won't listen, not that she listens to me anyway since they started dating. And sadder still, I'm so done with her that even if she tries to be my friend again after (if...well hopefully) they break up, I couldn't do it. |
Quote:
Situations like this really suck, because the girl ALWAYS burns bidges with friends and regrets it when things don't work out. |
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:56 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.