OMG, Carnation! Do some moms really do this????? What in the world do they expect you to tell them?

Crying on bid day doesn't happen much at my school... because most people who go through pref end up in their first choice. This is because with only 3 sororities a lot of girls instead of putting down 2 chapters for Pref parties they only put down their first choice... if they don't get invited... then you are out of rush completely. This actually kinda kills our general number of girls receiving bids as well... girls kinda take it as an all or nothing kinda deal. Last year we had about 150 girls go through open house the first night... and about 140 go through the first two party rounds(we don't do any cuts before pref every PNM attends 3 parties each night before pref)... only 32 ended up getting bids through the formal bodding process. Most of this was girls who dropped because they only put down one chapter for pref and didn't get invited back. I was in the restroom near the room that panhel was using the afternoon that pref invites were handed out and three girls came in crying and VERY disapointed... I felt so bad for them... I didnt' know what to say or if I should say anything I kinda just wanted to rush back to our room and keep decorating... it's kinda weird how something that has the potential to make you soo happy also has the potential to make you soooo upset....

One of my Key Sisters wasn't too thrilled with Kappa right off the bat. She's not a crier, but she was really, really quiet, so needless to say, Bid Night was a bit tense for me. The next night was the all-Greek party, where many of the girls in her first-choice sorority were behaving in a very un-lady-like manner. She turned to me and whispered, "You know what? Seeing this makes me glad that ___ cut me!" Now she's one of our most valuable members.

this happened 2 times while i was a collegiate. once when i was a phi and the other when i was active. when i was a phi, we just noticed that stacy was missing a lot on bid day! sisters were talking to her and trying to cheer her up, etc. one of the sisters who had also been in this position had a long chat with her and then she came back to the group. she definately didn't seem too thrilled, but by the end of the day, she was one of the gang! the following year, a legacy had put another group 1st, but was cut. she spent a part of the day crying, but both of her roommates went phi mu and she had several friends in the sorority already. she spent some time talking with 2 sisters (one of which had been crying the year before). in no time, she was the peppiest of the bunch and has been an absolutely wonderful sister. she is even a chapter advisor now!!

if a girl shows up on bid day and is crying, i think you need to give her a chance. let's face it, she really had hopes of being an xyz and was rejected. technically she was some where on the bid list, but she wasn't "high" enough to get in. the person is dealing with ending an emotionally charged week with a big "let down." it makes sense that she feels sad, but it is great that she is giving abc a chance! show her that sisterhood that you had been talking about all week. give her a big hug and welcome her to the family. this show of support may be all she needs to know that she found her home!

I don't recall anyone crying but we did have a gal to walk out of our new member/pledging ceremony once. In the middle of the ceremony! She just turned to one of my sisters (who is on my top 10 list of kindest people in the world) and said she had to go. Oh well!

Killarney, moms and even dads act this way. I can understand their disappointment and hurt that their child has been rejected but if they go after the PH advisor, they're going after an innocent party.

We had a dad come storming in wanting to know why his daughter had been cut by all 9 sororities after first parties. I certainly knew--it was because of her behavior every time she'd visited campus as a high school senior--but we referred him back to the sororities. What else can you do?:(

We have dealt with a girl being ecstatic on Bid Day....calling her gram, telling her what house she went to (Phi Mu), and her grandma started crying because she didn't go to our house. Her grandma called us in tears, asking how we could not take her granddaughter, a legacy. I was like, "Whoa...she cut us after the 2nd round!" That wasn't a good situation.

The year before I joined, there was a girl who ended up getting a bid to our house (her second choice). She cried all of bid day, and all of the sisters went out of the way to comfort her and try to make her feel at home. She ended up being a good sister, but never very active. I think that some of the older girls felt a kind of resentment toward her. :(

We had one girl that during unoffical 'bid day' for COBing who got really upset. We went to "jen's" dorm, with a bid for another girl. "Jen" came running to the door (we were delivering bids at the ungodly hour of 9am) knowing it was us and started jumping up and down...only to open the door to find out it was for another girl.
She ended up getting a bid anyway, after another girl dropped.

To me, crying on Bid Day, when you got a bid for a house that you said you would join, is like crying on Christmas.

My sentiments exactly! After all, they did put the GLO on their pref card http://www.spacespider.net/emo/contract.gif

It's not like getting coal in your stocking, is it?

Well, even though they may have listed it on their pref card, they could still be unhappy.

At my previous university, you were told NOT to suicide, but to list all 3 sororities (whether you attended their pref or not) in the order that you wanted them. I know some girls who, being very naive freshmen and thinking they wouldn't possibly get anything and would get in trouble if they didn't follow these directions, got their 3rd choice that they did not want AT ALL. I can see both sides I guess. I know I would be happy in almost any chapter (there's one I'm not sure about...) but in a situation like that one, I can understand why someone would be upset enough to cry. Personally, I see it as being quite rude to openly show this much disappointment to women who love their organization. I think we would all do well to practice composure no matter the amount of disappointment until we are in private.

Yeah you got a point!

I cried for 2 days when I did not get into my first choice university!

But gotta do a quote based on Tom Hanks in "A League of their own"

There is no crying on bid day!!!!!! :D

Not even happy crying? haha.:cool:

Now that's good! Happy crying is good! :D

Well, sometimes it is. I believe some of the computer programs automatically overlook girls who suicide, giving you no choice other than to put another group down if you want to get any sort of bid. One of the ways to outsmart that is to put down groups that you don't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting into - i.e. they cut you after first round and have 200 legacies - but the Rho Chi's won't always let you do that.