If he won't change, or at least agree to counseling, why should she have to suffer and be miserable?

I agree with you Leslie! If he won't get counseling...then GO TO COUNSELING BY YOURSELF!

Thanks Jill...
Maybe individual conseling is a step in the right direction. At least it might help the person realize how serious the situation is.

Going along with the self counseling idea . . .

Uhm, we don't know that there is no trust, warmth or whatever else in the relationship . . . from his point of view.

To her all those things are missing.

Basically she sounds bitter. I am not saying she doesn't have cause, but bitterness, and you older wiser GC'ers might know this better, is a wierd emotion that does nothing for you but make you miserable as well as make it hard to move on or simply enjoy life.

Bitterness taints everything.

When I read her words it looks like she just never got over it. Never got her personal closure.

Never got an emotional reaction from him that equals or validates the pain, bitterness, and betrayal that she felt from that situation. Whatever talking they did just didn't get it all out of her.

Goodness, I can imagine those conversations, we have all seen them, the constant "But Why?" even when the person just answered, because the argument has little to do with the details, its about the sheer emotion. The Rage.


In this situation it looks like she is actually suggesting counseling for them just so she can have that emotional closure on the issue (if that is even possible) to hurt him with words the way she was hurt before.

I can't really blame the guy for not wanting to go. Especially, if he concluded the affair and hasn't done it again.

*shrug* To him the issue would be over. She had the option of leaving then or any time since. She needs to get over it and stop letting her bitterness ruin any future, if it already hasn't.

what an awesome show

oh sorry back to the post, her husband obviously doesn't want to put much into the marriage, i'd tell her to leave him right now cause he's not gonna get better

I definately agree.

Many, many, MANY female friends that I know that have serious problems in a relationship don't feel like they are strong enough to make it out on their own for some reason.

One of my good friends, that I even just talked to yesterday, was telling me all sorts of terrible things about her boyfriend. They broke up briefly for a few months last summer, and honestly I can say then, she was one of the happiest people I know.

Now that they are back together, all she does it complain about how terrible their relationship is, and it really makes me sad :(

I know she could do so much better.. even SHE told me she could do so much better, and find a guy that actually treated her right, but yet she's still with him? :confused: And they aren't just little trivial things that they are having problems with.. he is WAY psycho-possessive and just doesn't treat her right.. so it's so hard to see her stay through it :(

I definately agree that maybe some kind of help can help you in your situation and help you realize that this relationship isn't worth staying around for.