I don't believe in saving the pretty stuff for special events... every day should be special!

Huh? Your boyfriend didn't mind a stranger sending you lingerie?

Perfect.

Anyway - to go along with previous statements, I think James would (and I definitely will) allow for "matching but not matching" - matching is still a definite turn-on though.

Think about this - you took the time to 'be prepared' just in case you were 'seen' . . . don't think that goes unappreciated.

Well that goes without saying...you wouldn;t go to the bar or something wearing granny panties if you thought you were going to get some ass now, would you?

Here's something not really related but along a similar line that I read once talking about double standards...there was this woman at a bar, she starts talking to this guy, they hit it off and go back to one of their respective places. For whatever reason, at one point in her life, she had decided to get the majority of her hair removed from her downtown area (think permanent brazilian wax). He sees this, flips out because he thinks she was at the bar solely to hook up with any guy she found (because she was "prepared" for action), and she's left sitting there upset because he accused her of doing this all the time. And this guy wasn't the only one who did that to her - a few saw the lack of hair and thought she had set out to pick up anyone she could find.

On the flip side, there was a woman talking about how she hooked up with her husband the first night they met, but her legs weren't shaved recently. He took that to mean she didn't intend on just hooking up that night and felt it was a compliment that they hit it off well enough for her to want him that much.

So here's my question....guys, what do you think about a girl who's too prepared? I'm not necessarily even getting to the point of nakedness...even the girls who, when you walk into a bar, looked like they dressed themselves for the sole purpose of hooking up that night. Would you rather approach someone like that, or someone who looks nice but not necessarily that hooched out?

Or even someone who looks like they bounced around through the frumpy forest? I mean, you never know. ;) :p

I got into a debate with a friend of mine on this, and I'm just curious as to what y'all have to say. I won't even go into our debates about initial friends with benefits encounters...:eek:

"Too prepared"?

Chances are, he's not wearing a hoodie and track pants, right? It wouldn't seem most guys have room to talk here, especially if they showered/wore cologne/trimmed downtown before they went to the bar.

I think I would approach the girl who looks 'nice' before the frumpy one, and also ahead of the 'freshman hooker' - well, usually.

AXOLiz, your post made me stop and go 'whoa'! It never occurred to me that there were guys out there who would think that a woman's "maintenance" is a sign that she's looking to hook up. I think any guy who would think that is a jerk, quite frankly! I mean, what would be pleasing to someone in that mindset; a woman who hadn't showered for a week, let all her body hair grow, wore krispy-krunchy underpants and didn't believe in deodorant? Ugh!

As for undergarments...I have a thing that mine have to match and that's all there is to it. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so face it, I don't really have the opportunity to buy a lot of dress-up-type clothing and one can only own so many Juicy Couture hoodies and pants. So I like to spend money on pretty underthings, mostly LaPerla or sometimes VS. So even when I'm just hanging around the house or doing errands I still feel pretty even though I'm wearing super casual clothing :)

I've never heard of a guy not hooking up with a girl because she was too prepared for it. I think whomever said that happened to them is lying or probably had a weird labia or FUPA that scared the guy.

-Rudey
--And the girl better match...I don't go for the colorblind kind.

I actually went shopping at Victoria's Secret with my roommate this past weekend for lingere. We were sitting at home, drinking wine and talking about our guys, and got the bright idea to get something special for them to show how much we appreciate them.

My guy was away for five days helping his parents move into their new house and he was supposed to come back last Sunday afternoon. I planned on wearing my purchase for him when he got home to surprise him. Good thing I called before I headed over to his house because his parents were with him! It would have been so embarrassing! I could have killed his rommate when he invited my guy's parent's to stay the night. Luckily for me, they opted to stay in a hotel instead.

Later that night when we were alone, I surprised him and he liked it a lot ;) . (and it matched.) :D

Disclaimer: Rudey, I hope you don't think I'm directing this at you, it's just your post I happen to be quoting. This is more a gripe with the general male population.

Guys seem to wonder why girls get hung up on their bodies so much, complain about their weight, the size of their chest, etc....and yet they have to comment on flaws that, in some cases can't be controlled? Granted, you can work out and, unless you've had children or something that messed up your abdomenal muscles to the point of no return, you can try to lose the FUPA. But goddamn, if a guy EVER commented on anything he thought was weird going on in my downtown area, FUPA or labia or otherwise, I'd kick him in the balls. I know so many girls who've had guys comment on things that they could never change except through surgery and it's ridiculous. We're already worried enough about our boobs, noses, thighs, butts, etc. We don't need to have a complex about things that a guy should feel lucky to be seeing in the first place.

And then we're supposed to be all nice and ego-stroking when it comes to commenting on male equipment? "Wow" can mean anything from, "Wow, I've never seen one that small," to "Wow, that's the ugliest, nastiest thing I've ever seen!" Maybe women should start being more honest, or maybe I'm just crabby today.

All women should look good for their men. I feel sad for those guys walking thru the mall hanging on their fat, ugly girlfriends like they are some kind of trophies.

My solution is this...

If you're fat, then lose weight.

If you're ugly, then don't breed.

I agree with you to a point, although I don't necessarily think you should try to look your best JUST for your significant other. If you're going to try to look your best, do it for yourself. Plus, I believe in reciprocity...if I'm going through a lot of effort to look good, any guy I'm with had better be looking good too. I'm not going to be working my ass off on a treadmill so I can go home to a guy with a beer gut. Please. However, if I ended up falling madly in love with a guy with, say, a beer gut, I wouldn't make him change since he had that when I rolled into his life. It's not fair to be like, "Yeah, I love you, now do this because you're ugly/fat/whatever."

My only complaint is when people are put down for things that are genetic and can't be fixed without going through 500 contortions. That also isn't fair, since it's not like they can really do anything about it without going under the knife, and chances are, they're already aware of whatever you're ripping on (unless they're my former roomie who was in complete denial about her FUPA).

I really am not into that who fantasy thing. BUT, I would wear a nice corset under a jacket. It's all about managing to be alluring without resorting to looking like a whore. I'm NOT a French maid, I'm NOT a nurse, I'm a W-O-M-A-N!!!!!

the guys aren't hanging on them b/c they are beautiful or skinny. chances are they just aren't embarrassed b/c they love their gf regardless of size or looks. and yes i do agree that if you are fat you should try to lose weight. however, that's usually easier said than done. trust me i'm trying right now. i've been working out for the last 3 months and eating properly and i've only lost 10lbs. i'm still working for it though.

shelley j
sigma k