Ladies, I have come to the conclusion that this saying is true...all the good guys are either gay or taken. I keep dating assholes or falling for guys that just want to be friends.

I had a fight with this guy who I though was my friend but he just wanted to get me into bed and when I said no, he told me I was being difficult. Lorenna Bobbitt so had the right idea...okay I'm just venting now...I know there are some great single guys out there(they obviously don't live in Guelph), I just can't seem to find them...where are they all hiding.

Okay I'm done now

OK here is my gripe about this guy, he's a fraternity guy and the fraternity is like our brother fraternity.
ok you would think a guy likes you if he looks for u at the party until u get there, asks ur sisters where u are and if u are coming to the party and tells them that I'm lookin for her, hangs out with u the whole night, holds ur hand most of the night, says oh u can crash at my place, wants u to come on the rafting trip on the 4th, etc. I even said hey go hang out with your brothers, you don;t have to hang out with me. But no he said he wanted to talk with me. I had a ride with the DD, but he wanted me to ride with him and his friend back to a sister's house. We goto one of my sister's house, hang out there for a while, then go back to his fraternity house (which was condemmed, a rat couldn't live there, it was that bad), then a bunch of us go to Taco Bell. This is what I call the "Taco Bell Incident". Anyways were were in the taco bell parkin lot like at 3am. Well one of his brothers asks him, if I was his girlfriend. He says "OH HELL NO" then whispers. looks at me, whispers again to his friend when I was less than 3 feet away. I was like oh no u didn;t do that, u fu*ker (didn't say that out) in hindsight i should of said that. So to his friend that was a DD, I said can u drive me back to my car now, I don't wanna be here anymore. So they drop me off. To the friend, I was like thanks for the ride, nice meeting you. But to dumbass i was like BUH BYE. Anyways he's a major dumbass cuz what he did to me, then tried to start crap between another sister and her boyfriend, and said something really inapproiate to another sister. So he's on our shit list now. I so wanna chew his ass out the next time I see him, which hasn;t been since the incident.......

And I agree with Lady Pi Phi's comment.
And sorry for my long rant...

I'm all for switching the "P" around so it refers to guys too. Everybody has FUPA potential. When you gotta lift it up to get to the goodies, it's a FUPA either way.

Anyhow, any other girls notice that, at least when you're talking about people in their 20's, that girls are way more likely to ignore appearance "flaws" on guys than the other way around? I'd much rather have an intelligent, fun guy with a good sense of humor than someone hot on my arm that's a complete moron. I'm sure there's girls that do it too, of course, but it seems like there aren't as many of those. I've talked about this with my friends and we really don't know any guys who've gone after girls who weren't what they (and their friends) consider "completely hot." The one or two I can think of started as friends and just ended up together. That makes me feel a little better about the world as a whole, I just wish I knew more guys who'd get over themselves and realize that nailing hot chicks isn't everything. Maybe I'm saying that because I'd personally rather nail a skilled guy, but you know. ;)

OK, I have a few comments to make:

1) First, there is behavior that has been documented and studied regarding the way people pursue love interests. One of those behaviors is known as avoidance. Avoidance is basically this: have you ever been so nervous or unsure of yourself? Well, some people reach for things they know they cannot get so that they don't have to risk anything! They aren't going to get hurt, necessarily, because they already know they aren't going to get it. But, let's say you take a risk and ask someone out who may actually say yes?? Please, that's enough to cause some people to pass out! Hence, choosing someone you know is unattainable!

2) The good guys aren't taken. They are usually where the good girls are: home because they think al the good girls are taken, so what's the point! Good men are also shy, so they don't approach you very often. I know they are out there. But, they are as disillusioned as we are! I know that's my issue. I get so flustered around someone I like, that I my mouth forgets how to work!!

3) I am actually a firm believer in two things. First, love will find you when you are ready. Second, you cannot love someone fully and wholely (is that the correct spelling??) until you fall in love with yourself that way. There are reasons love eludes us. I am so happy to have had the wonderful man I did, but he wasn't for me.

There is a beautiful quote that I love to think of when I get a bit into the "Where is he?" phases. And it goes like this:

The person you are looking for is sitting somewhere wondering where you are.

It will happen, have faith and patience...and compassion.

Experienced guys are okay because they don't need as much coaching, lol. However, the guys that have had a least one girl tend to thing that God has blessed the earth with their presence, so of course I should feel honored. :rolleyes: Um, no. And those are usually the guys that are 5 minutes or less. Not fun.

Guys with less experience tend to be open to more and also VERY willing to learn. I kinda like inexperienced guys better because not only do they last longer, and get better with time, it also shows that they have been selective in the past.

AXOLiz, check out my post in the "easily offended" thread. Guys aren't off the hook that easily with their fupas. I bet most of the guys on that thread complaining about fupas are hiding theirs under the keyboard as we speak. ;)

Sigmagrrl, you're very right on all your points. I know a lot of terrific guys ... they're smart, they're funny, they're decent human beings, they look good (your mileage may vary depending on taste). No, I'm not dating them because we wouldn't suit each other. They don't want to date me either.

I have a friend who is perennially single. She always falls for gay men. She's even come out and admitted it's a form of avoidance - she doesn't have to worry about rejection because she knows up front she's out of contention but it's not "personal."

I don't know how guys do it. The thought of asking a guy out terrifies me. But I expect them to ask me out! It takes guts (well, in the case of a few guys, a thickheaded refusal to admit that there aren't any women out of their league).

But still ... I think more men than women are hung up on looks. We women are hung up on other, equally superficial things, so I'm not saying we are superior. But guys' "minimal hotness standard" is generally way higher than womens'. When they grow up, though, and are ready to get serious, they'll probably end up with a woman who isn't as stereotypically babelicious as they always expected - unless they are actually that babelicious themselves.

I know I'm probably being fairly stupid here, but..

When are these guys going to give up on the hot girls so I actually have a chance? :mad:

It's not that I don't get hit on, it's just that when I do, the guys have always been pretty sketchy. It's not even the, "He seems a little off, but I'll still give him a chance," it's more like the, "OH MY GOD WOULD YOU STOP TRYING TO RUB ALL OVER MY LEG," or, "Please, for the love of God, don't puke on me."

And I don't think I like guys that are way out of my league either. I know which ones are out of reach. I usually fall for the funny, kind of dorky ones - like the type of guy who I would be good friends with above anything else. They're reasonably attractive, but I wouldn't call any of them hot. And they're looking for relationships, so it's not that. Granted I occasionally get nervous and say stupid things, but who doesn't? They're the types who do that ALL the time! It's so frustrating to listen to them whine about their lack of love lives when I'd totally go out with them. And the fact that they want relationships just makes it worse, because then I'm probably in the not-attractive-enough category.

Or maybe it's the raging case of herpes. :p

Hopefully I didn't offend anyone with a raging case of herpes. People with herpes deserve love too. It's about suppression. ;)

I think I am the exception. I am VERY picky and I think physical appearance weighs heavily on who I date. Not that it can't be overshadowed by other things, of course, but I am extremely selective. For some reason, I can only date men who are extremely physically attractive. Part of me is hoping to grow out of that, but the other part of me wonders, if I DO grow out of it, am I lowering my standards or settling?

Just wanted to offer a different perspective...

FUPA
 

ladies

a FUPA is NOT a belly

It is NOT your lower abdomen

A FUPA is referencing the labia.

Geez.

I can be that way too, it all depends on what I am looking for, lol.

If I want a RELATIONSHIP then appearance DOES matter but it is not really the end all and be all, what matters is the quality of that person's character. Are they cool? Are they smart? Do hey have the required sense of humour (although maybe I should take this out- my boyfriend can never tell when I'm jokin, he says it's cuz I speak with authority lol. He has a good sense of humour on his own though, and I can always laugh at the dorkiness).

None of our friends (who have known both of us for years) would have ever imagined us together, but it works, what can I say?

On the OTHER hand, back in the DAY when I was clearly not lookin for love it was another story. What in the world would I have been doing with someone ugly? I wanted ARM CANDY- can I introduce you to all my girlfriends and be assured of their envy? Can I post pictures of you on the net and be like THAT'S MINE HAHA (ok, that is a joke- never that, but you get the picture). Appearance was key.

Sounds a lot like with guys. Hmm.

edited: because I say 'lol' way too much.

Re: FUPA
 

No - it's not referencing the labia at all . . . it's actually between the abs and the labia (there's a term for the area, but i can't think of what it is - think zipper-area).

-RC, your friendly neighborhood FUPA pro, who's staying the fuck away from the 'where are all the cute/nice guys' discussion like it's the hiv

I don't think there's anything wrong with having high standards, really. If you get the hot guys (who are hopefully also good people, of course), go for it!!

My issue revolves around something we talked about in my many communications classes - people tend to pair up with people around the same attractiveness level as themselves. Granted there's some leeway, but for the most part, you'll rarely see someone who's super-hot with someone who not only hit every branch on the ugly tree on the way down but bounced around through the ugly forest for a while too.

Therefore, it only makes sense that very attractive people date other very attractive people. What I don't understand is why guys who are in the 5-7 range go chasing after girls who are 10+ all the time. There are a lot of hot guys I'd LOVE to be with, but it's not going to happen. I know this and I'm fine with it. But when average-looking guys won't give me the time of day, that's when I get frustrated. I know I'm not on the high end of the spectrum, but I'd like to think I'm not some hideous beast-looking girl.

The whole matching thing goes with perceived attractiveness though, and I know a LOT of guys who think they're 10's just because they have a penis. News flash - so does every OTHER GUY out there as a general rule.

On a sort of related note, did you know that when a study was done taking computer images of people's faces - not pictures, but scanned and measured with instruments and showed EXACTLY what the person looked like - only 1 in 10 could correctly identify their picture when it was compared with variations on the image? Self image is a weird thing.

Well, Liz, my friend seems to have a thing for AXOs, so I could hook you up with him ... heheh.

Re: Re: FUPA
 

So you mean the actual pubic area? How the HELL does that get fat?

I've had some previously undiscovered deposits of fat suddenly appear in my day, but NEVER there.

I was thinking FUPA was similar to Dunlap's - where your gut done lapped over your pants - just lower, ie your gut done lapped over your goodie region.

I wonder how many threads have gotten into the FUPA discussion? Maybe it should be its own...:D

Re: Re: FUPA
 

OK I think I know what you mean now, kinda like a taint on guys I guess.

The area that is generall known as the venus mound- the top of the labis up the happy trail.

I just KNEW it wasn't the lower abs though.

And this is my LAST post on the subject.