Suicide or ISP would probably NOT have resulted in a bid to ET. You would probably have been left with no bid at all. At least you had a choice at the end. I wish you had given Minion Mayhem a chance... you had nothing to lose at that point. You know what is best for you. Good luck if you try again.

I'm sorry that things didn't work out as you had hoped.

ISP is a gamble. If you ISP, you run the risk of not matching at all, but if you maximize your options, you run the risk of matching with a chapter you're not happy with - AND being unable to join another sorority for a full year.

On the one hand, I agree with thetalady - you were bound to Minion Mayhem, and you could have pledged and perhaps found a connection with your pledge sisters and with sisters you didn't meet during FR. FR is so short that you couldn't possibly have met every active if the chapter had more than maybe 10 actives. If you did not find that connection, you could have depledged and gone through FR next year.

On the other hand, if you really felt unhappy with MM after pref, you could have ISP'd. It would not have guaranteed you a bid to your first choice, but you would have been free to participate in COB ... if any chapter chose to do COB.

In any case, alea iacta est. You won't be able to participate in COB this year, but you will be able to go through FR next year if you choose to. If you do, I hope you find your home.

I'm sorry coaster gal. Since you are bound to minion if you wanted to give them a chance, you might contact the president and see what you could work out. If, after a month of attending meetings and chapter events you are still not feeling it, you could resign before you are initiated. This chapter might be a diamond in the rough- they shine in situations other than formal recruitment.

Well, on the bright side, I talked to a girl from E.T. Adventure tonight that I'm helping plan an event with on campus. She said she loved getting to know me during recruitment and that many girls pulled hard for me to join. Less girls went through recruitment this year, so they had less spots to offer. She said it absolutely wasn't me and that the girls loved me during recruitment. I'm not exactly sure how the numbers worked out but she encouraged me to go through again next year. When it comes down to it, I would rather wait a year to put my all into a sorority that I can be passionate about rather than half-a** it for four years and be miserable. I know that I can't in my heart support Minion Mayhem, and now I'm very confident in my decision to turn down the bid.

.... Sigh ..... I hope it works out for you next year.

My shot at a sorority for this year is over, quite obviously, but I have some exciting news about my girlfriend! We are no longer together but she is keeping me updated about her quest to join a sorority because it's something that brought us together. Before her spring break, she went to an informal event for her favorite group, Skull Island. When she gets back from break, she'll find out whether or not she received a bid! It seems like almost all chapters on her campus did some form of COB, so she knows she has other options if it doesn't work out with Skull Island.

And on my side of things, I've thrown myself into my schoolwork and my friends. I've realized that I can't change things by being bitter and angry, and also that I'm genuinely happy for my friends who are in sororities. I'll be going through again next year, but I know that whether or not I receive a bid somewhere, I'll have great friends and opportunities on campus. Only time will tell how things work out.

I'm sorry that it didn't work out as you'd hoped this year, but you certainly seem to have a positive outlook and I wish you the best in your current and future pursuits!

That’s not really how it works. Presuming your school uses the conventional quota/total system, quota is (to simplify) the number of rushees at pref divided by the number of sororities. In other words, there are enough bids being given out for every rushee to get one.

This.

Not the first time this has been said
 

The hard thing to recognize is that E.T. chose other women over you. I have seen women who are committed to a certain group successfully navigate recruitment a second time but that is very dependent on whether there is an upperclass quota, etc. Most chapters will rank freshmen higher than upperclass women if there is not a separate quota because they want to pledge women who have 4 years to contribute and pay dues over someone who only has 2-3 years of collegiate membership. It is nothing against you, just the reality of membership numbers and budgets.