"Don't worry I filed for a restraining order last week. I'll be sure to call the police. I don't know why she's still upset about the child support decision." I'm sitting here confused because he's holding the pillow with his eyes closed like everything's going to be okay. So I say: "WHAT CHILD SUPPORT!!! WHAT CHILD!!!" He suddenly jerks awake and ..........

Looks me in the eye...

"Look, babe, last night before we made beautiful love...I was gonna sit down and have this talk with you..."

"What talk?!" I demanded.

"Well I have 2 kids. The reson why that girl is throwing bricks through the window is because I am backed up on child support with her. I think. Or maybe it is because I gave her the clap. Well, either one."

I closed my eyes tight because I just knew I was dreaming. As soon as I opened them again....

He's standing right in my face and says, "There's a few more things that I have to tell you".......

tell me?

At this point, I couldn't stand to hear another single solitary word from this so and so. So I got up and went to the bathroom, turned on the water to take a shower so that I could sort through this mess.
(thinking to myself) 2 children? How could he have not told me? Then, he doesn't take care of them, either? What kind of man is he?

I'm bugging! This is some straight up Mary J. Blige video mess! I NEVER thought I'd deal with this. I have my OWN DRAMA going on up in here.

As I begin to step into the shower....

I hear glass shattering in my house...WTF? I grab my robe and run out of the bathroom prepared to do some old Mike Tyson chit on someone http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/.../aktion070.gif
When I enter my living room,I see........

My cousin Shay-Shay. She done broke my dang-on window out.

"Girl," she says, "Raulo done hit me for the last time! I'm sick of his mess. I'm leaving him alone for good. Two broken ribs, twelve black eyes, a broken nose, and I still took him back. But this time, he done turned my favorite bra pink in the wash, by putting some of his red player socks in there with my white clothes. I'm through! I mean it, too!"

I don't have time for this. I just found out that my man gave somebody the clap. I might be next in line at the free clinic. Now Shay-Shay wants me to help her solve her problems with Raulo? I don't think so.

I show her to the door, and since she's my FAVORITE cousin, I try to be nice, when I say...

...look, if you need to, you can stay over for a couple of days until you get your situation straightened out. I knew it was probably against my better judgement, but she is family and I always believed that family should stick together. Just then I hear my man say.....

She aint family she is my second baby mother in a past relationship, In fact she................................

"...was probably the one who gave me the clap in the first place!" said my man.

I looked at my man, and looked at cousin Shay-Shay. Then I noticed my feet were wet. I remembered that I had left the shower running! Rather than try to clean it up, I...

..slapped the chit out of my so called man and told him to leave my house immediately. He wouldn't leave so I went to my closet and got out my chrome .22 with the pearl handle he got me for my birthday. I pointed it below his belly button, he ran out the house so fast he forgot to put his clothes on. I turned around and said to my cousin.........

"Boo, this is not true, is it?"

Shay-Shay told me that it wasn't true, but I didn't know what to think. They had me totally confused.


"You need to go. I need to take my shower and get down to the free clinic before the line gets too long. I'll call you later."

Shay-Shay left reluctantly. My telephone rang. It was my ex boyfriend from a couple of months ago. We had broken up because he caught a case, and was sent up to do a bid. Now he was out.

He said....

"what you know-know goooooddddd....Yo baby's BACCCCKKKKKKK!"

(speaking to myself as I pull the phone away from my ear looking at it like I was crazy with a K)
My baby? Is he on some crackalack or something? Evidently, he must be on something cause every since he caught that case I meant I didn't have time for a jailbird. He better recognize!

So, I said..."what's up... you out?" I continue with.. "Are you going to stay out THIS TIME?"

I could hear him sucking on his teeth and he says...

"Like I knew that girl was 15! Give me a break, baby. Look, when I was in the pen, and finally got Big Snake to fall asleep, I would lie still and think to myself about our future together, baby. I thought about all the good times that we shared and how they went wrong. I am ready to be faithful to you, boo. To you."

I had to take a breather and figure this out. Is this dude really sitting up here telling me that he was in the pen, laid up and playing "Drop the Soap" with a man named "Big Snake" and now expects me to get back with him?

After I gained my composure, I ....

slammed the phone acquainting this needro with Mr. Click (dial tone). As I slammed the phone, I broke one of my almost perfectly manicured nails. "Dayum!" I exclaimed. I picked up the phone attempting to press *70 to block this needro from calling again, but I could not. "Crap!" Now, I was :mad: at my soon to be EX, my cousin, and this dropping soap azz needro!

"What next?" I said. As I raised my arms totally disgusted. I then realized I STILL had not taken my shower. So, I take my shower, get out and...

I heard a knock on the door. "What is it now?" I asked myself as I rushed to slip into my undies, a pair of sweats, and a t-shirt. The person on the other side began banging on the door. I tried to hurry and put on my clothes. I was moving so fast that my foot missed the pant leg and I nearly sprained my ankle as I stumbled alongside the bed. The person began banging louder, harder, and faster. I shouted out, "OK! OK! I'm coming!!!" as I approached the door. I struggled with keys to get the door unlocked. With MAJOR attitude, I swung the door open. I gasped when I saw.....