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Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2404282)

Fuck all that. Focus on having a good time with your sisters and not conforming to some image of what you guys *should* be.

I agree.

Ok, so I went out with some of my sorority sisters over the weekend and figured out why we're ranked so low still. Only about five girls out of my chapter of well over 100 wanted to go out, and once we were at a party we had bids for they mostly wanted to stick together and not dance or socialize with anyone else. Then they left that party early and tried to get into another at a "better" house without bids, while missing a second party we had originally been invited to. Frankly, I'm embarrassed by this behavior; it was impolite and overly concerned with status. As much as I like my sisters, I can definitely see where the bad rep comes from. What's most concerning is that one of the girls who did this was the social chair. I think I'm going to be on social committee this semester; any ideas how I can get girls to a) go out more b) be more outgoing and less standoffish, especially when we're someone's guests and c) have more self-respect and not be so obsessed with going to parties at "top" houses. If Jane Austen novels have taught me anything, it's that the easiest way to convince people you deserve to be in their social circles is to look like you don't care that much about being in their social circles. Thanks for any advice you can give me!

What are bids to parties? Shouldn't sorority women all be welcome if the parties are open?

ETA if your social chair is encouraging this kind of behavior she shouldn't be social chair and it should be brought up at elections.

Why did the other 95 girls not want to go out?

Some of the parties at my campus are more selective, so you technically need bids to get in, but they aren't like exchanges in that multiple sororities (and non-sorority women) get bids.

Then I would just avoid those for the time being. You do you. Take another sister and go to a "less selective" fraternity and have fun. If there are silly hens in your sorority who want to waste their nights trying to get into ABC when ABC wants nothing to do with them, that's their loss.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2404502)

What are bids to parties? Shouldn't sorority women all be welcome if the parties are open?

I'm 95% sure I know which campus this is - it's a large university with a strong Grerk system - and yes, they have an unusual social culture in terms of how Greek life social events work. The "bid" culture extends not just to fraternity parties but also to sorority invitational events. The "bids" are usually wristbands for admission to the event (or to board the bus for a sorority social).

Typically the social chair of the organization will give out X number of bids to their party to a social chair of other opposite sex organizations. So Fraternity A gives 25 bids to Sorority A, 20 to Sorority B, 10 to Sorority C, and 0 to Sorority D, etc. The social chair of that organization then has to determine who in their organization gets the bids for each party that weekend (or whether members can get multiple bids to multiple parties). Usually individual members also get bids of their own to hand out so they can invite their own guests. Organizations have their own rules for these and might have policies where freshmen get 1 bid each, sophomores and juniors get 3 each, and seniors get 10 each.

It took me a while to grasp what this system was and I still don't fully understand it.

I can understand fraternities giving out a limited number of tickets for admission because of $ and also because of fire code laws and such. But for the social chair to be able to pick who will socialize with whom??? What an awful, terrible system.

Knowing that kind of makes me want to retract my previous posts and say I don't blame your chapter sisters for not wanting to participate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2404757)

Talk about a perfect way to keep a caste system in place.

Here's my advice. You can't stop the girls in your chapter from being social climbers or a little desperate to be part of the in crowd. What you can do is make sure your inner circle are going to the parties to which you have been invited that you want to attend, have a good time, be yourselves, be social, even though it might be a bit outside your comfort zone, and show respect to your hosts. Some girls will adapt because they can see you're having fun and (dare I say it) meeting nice guys. And I think you know this, working the room, both male and female is important. Even the second tier parties are great places to make friends across the campus spectrum. And the other women there will do more to help your rep than the guys. IMO anyway. Be nice!

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna (Post 2404291)

Hrstinna, this is something that will take more than a week, or a month, or a semester to fix. Everyone has to commit to it for the entire time they're in college.
I'm not saying only go out the door in full makeup and rockin' outfit everytime everybody goes out the door.
I'm saying that there's something everyone can do every single day - even when they're at home.
It's a public relations thing.
Lots of ways mentioned already.
Get members to participate in as many things as possible on campus, in letter or badges.
Wear your letters - yes.
Be vocal about your group. Tell friends your membership. Talk about how you enjoy your group and are proud to be a part. Do this at home, too.
Put your letters on your cars. Hand out decals/bumper stickers/magnets to alumnae to put on their cars.
Swap with some different fraternities.
Sororities tend to only thing about their campus, but public relations is for hometowns, too. Do you have a member who's majoring in public relations or journalism? That person could write up press releases for hometown newspapers when a member wins an award, is elected to an office (including the sorority), or does something noteworthy. The release should always include "Miss Jones is a member of Alpha Beta Gamma sorority at Big State University." People at home talk. And girls from your hometown will be rushing next year.

You can see that getting your name out there and meeting people all over campus all 4/5 years is key to changing perceptions. These stereotypes often exist about ABGamma because other students have never met an ABC. Once they know one, that often just goes away.

All this points to - be yourself, but be the best version of yourself. And try to improve, too!