Who is putting the pressure on women to conform? Society, men? I think women put most of the pressure on themselves because of all the crap they read in Cosmo or see on TV. I used to have a girlfriend who weighed about 115 lbs who always used to think she was fat. Whats up with that? She never heard that from me.

Most of the guys I know prefer women in the middle who actually have curves.

Are you kidding, men prefer skinny and ugly over pretty and larger anyday! If you have ever seen that move with Ashley Judd and the NEW COW syndrome, well, it's really SKINNY COW syndrome!

I have also been a yo-yo dieter and been small and been bigger and now I'm battling to get back and working hard to stay there, but I have never had issues finding men or had dating problems. My last two boyfriends were very athletic and had great bodies but had no issue with me smaller or larger and it wasn't my personallity that caught their attention!

I have no idea why men are so wrapped up into skinny/thin women. Yes they are pretty just as much as larger women.SOME Men have some issues, and I guess are scared that their buddies would make fun of them for dating a big girl....awards given out and such at parties.... I cannot imagine why anyone feels that they can go off and just say anything, that is beyond rude! And yes we all have different tastes in potential partners, but as much as SOME men dislike women over 149lbs, I dislike men with IQ's of a grilled cheese sandwhich that feel OK about spouting off at the mouth about the weight of the average member in someone's chapter! A little tact goes a long way!

(UF Pike, I am sure you are a nice guy and the comment wasn't meant to be hurtful, but it really wasn't nice...)

My real sister is short and thin...120lbs and size 6, we both are polished and cute! I think all size women are great, I don't care if you are a 2 or a 22, be as healthy as you can be, just wear clothes that suit you and please forget the size and wear what looks good!

PM Mamma: good for you to start this thread! I love it when men say ridiculous comments like that, it makes me realize how wonderful the men in my life really are!

curvy girls
 

I used to be 5'1" and 142 lbs, which made me at most pleasantly plump, but nowhere near fat. Everybody said they loved my long hair and my hourglass figure. Before I went to college I had a tonillectomy and lost a ton of weight, in addition to the weight I had been losing. I got down to around 100 even, and I was 2 inches taller, so I looked drastically thinner. I couldn't get a date for the life of me. Now I'm 5'3", 120, with medium length hair and I have had 4 offers just in the past week. But here's why I'm happy: I'm healthy. I am able to run, eat, and do what I want. When I was heavy I couldn't be athletic and use my body. When I was skinny, I didn't have the energy. It wouldn't matter to me if I did weigh 140 again, as long as I have my health. Healthy=beautiful

What Can I Say... I'm Shocked!!!

Let me tell you a little story!! There was this girl, who lost a lot of weight the summer before she went to college (ECU to be exact) I looked good, i was not a waif, but i was curvy ( I had a perfect hourglass figure) Then i got mono and lost even more weight. I felt soo much pressure to kept it off that i was always at the rec center, i start throwing up and taking laxatives( i was bulimic in high school too). I thought that guys would like me better if look thin. Within a year i was SICK!! I was forced to leave ECU and move back home. I gained about 60 pounds, mostly because of the side effects from the meds i was taking. I would cry if i even looked in the mirror 'cause i was not pretty anymore!! BUT...

Now, i am a year older and i was realized that even though i'm not the way i was two years ago, and i honestly may never be that way again, I am pretty. I am a healthy,yet plump women who takes better care of herself. I have more guys pick me up, and guys who want to get to know me better. The other day, i was dressed up and getting ready to go the a bar with some friends and this guy cames up to me and tells me i am very beautiful. I WAS SHOCKED!!! Out of all my friends this guy(cute and mid 20's) comes to me and says that (and my friends are mostly blonde, 5'7 and about 110 lbs. GORGEROUS GIRLS!!) I mean...I think the older guys get the more they realize beauty comes in all shapes. i'm 22 now and most of the guys i hang out with are in their 20's. I know they look at women differently then they did when they first got into college!

UFPike -- you are probably a nice guy, but you should think about what you said.

Sorry if my story is boring, i not sure if my point got across.

Sigh...UFPike, I'm sorry that you're having a hard time finding a "good girl" but please don't put people down. This is a very sensitive subject to me. I've been slightly overweight my whole entire life, and comments like that have been my problems all along. It took me many years (and a period of time of anorexia) for me to feel comfortable with my body after being made fun of for many years. Honestly, I'm still not comfortable with it totally, but as I get older I find myself accepting myself more and more.

I'm very pleased to see this thread on this board. Over the years I've discovered that women who have weight problems are actually very strong individuals. We have strong personalities! I think it's unfair for a man (or anyone) to ride us off just because we're not that "perfect" stereotypical woman. And, believe it or not, I've heard that the average woman is really a size 14! Weighing 150 lbs. is not that big! Personally I'm 5'6" and weigh 160-165 depending on the day, and I think I look pretty good! I've had many people tell me that I look healthy, and really isn't that what is most important??? I feel very blessed to have found a man who loves me for my curves and for my MIND. A body is just a shell our personalities house in.

I apologize for my rantings, but I felt the need to get it off my chest. And to conclude, I say if a man (or anyone for that matter) is going to base a person off of their weight then that person isn't worth the time of day...period.

Kelly weighs in...
 

Let me tell ya, I had a kind and very pretty roommate who was this petite lil' thing from the Phillipines.

She wore a size 0.

When she bought jeans, she sometimes wore size 14....from the children's department.

When we would go to the supermarket, men would fall over themsleves trying to pick her up. They'd invite her to clubs or parties then glance over at me, and add in a flat tone, "Oh...and you can bring your friend too."

It was silly! I had no hard feelings towards her, she was a great friend! But man! :)

I am currently 5'8" and 165lbs. Go look at my pictures I posted in the "What do YOU look like?" thread. I was 5'8" and about 155 in those pictures. Do I look fat? Do I look disproportionate? No!
Yet I was slightly embarassed yesterday when I went to The Gap and had to buy a size 14 jeans. Why? Because the rack was full of size 6 like that's the only size women wear. (Or at least, only the women who are preferred customers? Or the only women who care to wear the latest fashions?)

There are three stores in the mall that I can't shop in at all since the clothes are all too small. One store even advertises "Now carrying size 14" on a sign in the window! Hellllooo???? I love the fact the size 14 is technically a pluss size. :rolleyes:

Because I have a small chest and a small waist, I wear size medium shirts. However, my legs are long, I've got "wide" hips, and I have a big butt (I'm popular with the brothers!). My man likes my figure and so do I. I just don't appreciate the hassle manufacturers/merchandise buyers cause when they decide that the only clothes available should be sizes 2-10.

I have no problem with women who wear sizes in the 0-12 range. I have a problem with stores not carrying my size. :(

Err!

......Kelly :)

Gear
 

Navane's post about clothing finally drew me to respond to this, because I really didn't want to err, weigh in. I am nearly 5'9." My listed weight (on my license) is 180, but I'm northward of that. I have smallish breasts, a short but narrow waist, a large butt and thick thighs.

Yes, the average size in this country is 12-14, and many women are larger than that (for me, it's my bottoms). All I'm asking is for retailers and designers to make and sell clean, good looking classics w/o heavy embellishment (embroidery) and to use some natural fabrics -- death to rayon challis and polyester! :p

The big issue is that many designers and large chains have an image issue -- their ideal is a slim size 6 who lives on the Upper East Side of New York (not meant to offend any NYers on this board) who has money.

In fact, Calvin Klein reportedly once said nobody should be more than a size 12. No coincidence that Klein hasn't expanded into plus sizes with his bridge business.

On the other hand, Donna Karan, Ralph Lauren and Oscar De La Renta are three "name" American designers who have made the jump, albeit with lower-cost lines (DKNY, Lauren Ralph Lauren and Oscar). Ellen Tracy and Dana Buchman, however, are my favorites. Ann Taylor just started carrying 16s, but they need to go up to 20, like Talbots does.

And navane, be glad your dude likes your figure. :)

Re: Kelly weighs in...
 

I totally feel you on this Kelly! I normally wear a size ten, but I was in Marshall Field the other day and I spied these must-have Mudd Jeans. I usually hate Mudd Jeans, however, because I have to buy a size thirteen. It's silly but it happens. I wish clothing came in a universal size chart so that if you buy a certain size in one brand, you can be sure that that is your size!!!

Re: Kelly weighs in...
 

the reason why the rack is FULL of size 0-6 is because the average woman is NOT one of these sizes..if you do your research..generally the clothes left on clearance are these sizes, w hile higher #'s (10-14) are always gone

Sears has a Mainframe Plus... juniors clothes in sizes up to 24.
I kinda got a laugh, sorry guys, but to me 14 is NOT a plus size. I would KILL to be a 14 and buy clothes at the gap or old navy!

TG

I have to say that Old Navy rocks my world! From what I've seen they carry really nice, hip clothes up to size 20+. (I'm not sure how high up they go.)

This whole weight thing gets me so mad. First of all, girls, let's admit that guys have a screwy sense of what women really weigh----and it is our fault. Does anyone put their real weight on their driver's license? Does anyone really let their man see them on the scale? Most of us knock 10-20 lbs off our real weight for whatever reason. I did it when I wore a size 4!!!!!! I just laugh when I read the "Playmate Data Sheets" in Playboy. Like this month's girl, for instance. She CLAIMS to be 5'9 and 125 lbs. I can tell you, she hasn't seen 125 in so long she can't remember what it looks like. Her boobs weigh 125 lbs alone. I am only 5'8, and in college I was REALLY skinny----I wore a size 4 (sometimes a 2 at the Gap depending on the style) and I weighed 132!!!!!!!!!! I had no tits or ass at all, was rather boy-shaped, but I had to because I was modeling. Anyone who saw this girl on the Fox special can attest to the fact that she was FAR from the thinnest girl in the competition. My honest assessment of her weight would be close to 150. Anyway, my point is I think guys sometimes seem to us to have really tight standards when it comes to weight, but weight doesn't tell the story at all. Clothing size is a better indicator of general body type, but even that is far from perfect science since we all know that the same jeans you get at Abercrombie in an 8 you have to get in a 10 or 12 at Old Navy and maybe even a 6 somewhere else.

I have two kids and I'm not in my twenties anymore, but I look pretty damn good. I admit, I am too vain to let myself get big but I also admit that I will never starve myself into a size 4 again. Being taller helps.....I would probably have to hit 180 or more before I would ever have any kind of a gut (I'm long waisted) but I still have to be careful because I just love food. I refuse to give up something that is such a pleasure just because some guy might like his women twiggy. My husband would have a fit if I lost my curves....he's a boob man and an ass man, and he hates that beanpole look. But then again he also likes the fact that I can wear a short skirt to show off my legs and wear sleeveless tops,etc. I have to give him credit.....he is a bigger guy and could very easily get fat if he let himself go. He watches and really makes an effort not to overeat because he wants to stay looking good for me. Most guys sit there and stuff their faces without a second thought about the love handles spilling over their pants, while insisting that their woman eat dry lettuce so she can still fit into that size 6.

Anyone notice that little skinny guys tend to gravitate towards bigger women, while the big caveman guys are the ones who have to have the tiny petite bony little things? (I have noticed and other women I have talked to have noticed that skinny guys are often VERY well endowed, while the cavemen often aren't.....perhaps there is a correlation?)

Anyway, if it makes the big beautiful gals feel any better, everyone has something about their appearance that they feel holds them back or they'd like to change. I have known girls who were so skinny that they tried desperately to put on some weight and get some curves, and couldn't. Curly-haired gals want straight locks, while the straight-haired girls are out getting perms. Short girls long to be supermodel-tall, and tall girls wish they could be the petite cheerleader. We change our haircolors. We put in phony contacts. Nobody is ever totally pleased with themselves. I know that I had issues....I'm comfortable with myself now and am happy with what nature gave me, but when I was younger I used to agonize over every little thing. Even though I was tall and thin, I wanted bigger, better boobs. I am the exact opposite of the perky blonde that supposedly is every man's dream (I have since found out THAT one isn't true anyway!!) I thought that having dark hair and eyes and dark skin was a disadvantage, that I was too "exotic." I hated my "big" feet.....(size 10......never mind the fact that at my height, I'd tip over if I had teeny little feet.) You learn to get over it. You learn to love yourself, and you learn to accept the love that others try to give you.

Re: Re: Kelly weighs in...
 

I feel ya. I was in Lerner Ny yesturday to buy some jeans and a shirt. I saw some jeans on clearance so when I went to the rack all they had were size 6 and under. Most women who shop at Lerner ARE larger than a 6. I know I am.

Originally posted by Rubbersoul..........Anyone notice that little skinny guys tend to gravitate towards bigger women, while the big caveman guys are the ones who have to have the tiny petite bony little things? (I have noticed and other women I have talked to have noticed that skinny guys are often VERY well endowed, while the cavemen often aren't.....perhaps there is a correlation?)

This is sooo true...especially the second part:D !