I agree with what everyone above said, although I think using grades as an excuse could get murky. In that case, my fear would be that if she really gung-ho and accepts that as the excuse, what happens if she goes all out and does get her grades up by the next year's formal rush....she's going to feel that she "solved the problem" and wonder why she didn't get a bid that time either. Not that raising one's grades is ever a bad thing ;) but I'm just looking in the long run/worst-case-scenario

I think you're making this more difficult than it needs to be.

What you need to do is sit the girl down and tell her that regardless of her relationship with you and with your VPR, NO ONE SISTER CAN GET A PNM A BID BY HERSELF.

Tell her that no matter what she thinks she heard, even if she heard right (which we know she didn't and you need to document, just in case), that doesn't mean the rest of the chapter will vote to give her a bid.

Remind her that one vote is one vote is one vote. That's all. Majority rules. The VPR's vote counts for no more than any other sister's vote. Then tell her that voting is a private process that is based on sisterly trust, and that a chapter must always respect the majority decision of its sisters, regardless of individual or minority opinions.

Please don't fib to her about grades or legacies, etc. etc. etc. If/when she does not recieve a bid, tell her that the majority of the chapter just didn't feel like it was a good fit--for her or for the chapter. That's utterly legitimate, and it's the truth.

At the same time, even though you say that you and your friends don't see her in your chapter, you never know--this PNM could go through structured recruitment, and a majority of your sisters could decide that she fits in just great....just as you think this PNM shouldn't count her AGD chickens before they are hatched, neither should you!

Best of luck with this one! ;)

Just thought I'd throw this out there... maybe we shouldn't be discussing something like this on a public board? Afterall, aren't most Greek membership selection processes private to only their initiated members? Anyone could be reading this...

In my opinion, this should be dealt with in the chapter where the problem is occuring. Look to the advisors and volunteers that work with your chapter to find alternatives and a solution if the chapter members cannot come up with one on their own. But by all means, misleading a PNM about the recruitment process may not be the best idea.


Just my $.02! :)

There isn't any formal recruitment going on right now.. the problem is that this girl thinks she's going to get an AGD bid when recruitment does happen... so we are giving advice about what to tell this girl so she doesn't assume just because she hangs out with one of the sisters now that she's going to end up being AGD come rush. AGD hasn't been voting on her or anything yet :)

I understand greekwendy's point of view. Membership selection is a touchy thing with most fraternity women, because our foremost concern is to protect the integrity of the process!

The only thing which I can add to the conversation is that Alpha Gamma Delta has specific attributes that we look for members. We want women that will contribute wonderful things to the Fraternity and the world at large. And ALL potential new members are given respectful AND equal consideration, be she legacy or friend or new acquaintance. Everyone gets their fair shake.

I am sure that the Alpha Gam chapter will handle this situation in a manner which is best for everyone involved!

And that's all I have to say about that. :)

Thank you, Forrest! ;)

I think that you should encourage her to go check out every sorority. Otherwise she might limit herself to only your sorority which might result in her not receiving a bid. Tell her to keep an open mind and check out every option. She might decide during recruitment that she has a better fit with a different sorority. ;)

Everyone here has had great things to say... Good advice :D

I would be honest with her (like many here have said) sit her down and let her know that no one can gaurentee her a bid and that she will need to go through the process just like everyone else. Let her know she has just as much a chance of getting in as she does not getting in... In other words, she should go through the process, be open to every house and see what happens.

Just be up front tell her this is the way the process works, that it is nothing personal, but that every girl who goes through this just has to wait and see.

If after that she doesn't get it, well then if your house feels she isn't a good fit, then she'll be cut and it will all be done honestly.

And who ever said to document all of this, I TOTALLY agree!!!! Document everything, as detailed as you can (dates, people there, etc.) It is sad to say, but sometimes people will try to sabatoge things because they didn't get their way. Good luck and let us know what happens!!!!!

It does not matter if recruitment is happening at the time, what GreekWendy was saying is that Membership Selection should not be discussed online.
Just be careful what you say...anything can be used against you later on.

I understand selection is a touchy/private subject. I think that AGDprincess, who came to the board for advice, knows that as well. She has been careful to give us just enough information for us to try and help her out.