I was thinking the same thing. I have a large extended family so I have seem all sorts of combinations of pictures: the couple with all of the guests, his side, her side, both sets of parents, with and without children and spouses or dates. They wind up with over one hundred photos, but it's worth it. No one is left out or offended.

I agree with the two photo option. My family did this a while ago, when I was about 12(my hair was so horrible! :rolleyes: . My grandparents have 7 children, 6 have been married, all of those divorced, 3 remarried and the seventh now engaged for the first time, so this is an issue too. In the extended family photo, we even included step-cousins(sons of my aunt's second husband; they're now divorced too). My grandparents still hang the photo, just in a less prominent place, and instead hang the photo of them with their seven children.
We accept the past and acknowledge the part all these ex-es play in our lives. It may hurt us but it is a part of who we are.

If your inlaws really want just the kids and grandkids fine, but I'd have your husband suggest to have a second photo taken with you and the others left out...it only takes a few moments more and then the family has a choice of which photo they want.

True Story...
 

When my second daughter was Christened, my mother in law wanted the "family" to pose for a picture. So the picture from the Christening day she chose to frame included her, my father in law, my husband, his brother and my two daughters. I was asked to take the picture! :rolleyes:

Very well said.

I however am not that mature. As for me...I tend to be a bit of an ass when it comes to these things...and being a southerner....I tend to be vengful. So i would find a time at the wedding reception where you could gather the "not includeds", snap a group photo inconspicusly. Wait about 6 months, then next time you are in the parent-in-laws house, put it up on the mantle, in a 5x7 frame. Wait till someone asks, and just say something like, "Well, since we werent included in the big portrait, I thought it would be nice if you had your whole family on display....not just the ones who werent controversial. The other spouses agree."

Ya know what? the in-laws will get offended. Ya know what? fluck 'em. They'll deal, and cope with it, because 1)they offended you by not taking your feelings into consideration (which they could have done by discussing it with you) and 2) youre family. Youre in the buisness of pissing each other off and having to get over it.

Its definitely insulting. If my parents wanted that picture I wouldnt even show up unless my wife was going to be in it.

When you think about it, maybe the matriarch and patriarch should not be in the pic either because there is a chance they will also get divorced.

I keep reading everyone mention blood relatives and keeping the picture to the bloodline - thus excluding the spouse b/c theyre technically not blood.

well what if they had adopted children, or children from a previous marriage that the "bloodline" spouse chose to adopt and raise as his/her own. these people are technically not blood either - would they be excluded from the family picture as well? there is no way someone would exclude my children and hurt them like that...

even if you do include the spouse in the picture and they possibly get divorced somewhere down the line, that person is still the mother or father of your grandchildren, niecies or nephews - so they will always be special in that way (even if they do turn out to be a crazy maniac ;))

i follow a simple rule my mom taught me - the more the merrier - and as soon as you start excluding people the sooner feelings get hurt.

Kathy, I understand why you are hurt! I totally agree with everyone who has said that if it was just your husband, it would make sense. Like if my family, as small as it is, would have a family portrait made (all of us grown) - I could see where possibly we might take a photo that did not include my brothers wife...but if that happened there would definately be a photo taken of all of us - she is like a sister to me.
Have you talked to any of the other spouses that arent involved? Do they feel the same way?


And KillarneyRose, please tell me that didnt happen! Having to take the picture at your own daughters christening is just tacky!

Unfortunately, anyone who actually knows those odd people known as my inlaws wouldn't be in the least surprised! :rolleyes:

The Current family you are in IS THE CURRENT FAMILY!

You are a member of The Family even if you or someone else was the old one! THEY ARE NOT NOW! You Are!

You are the Misteress and Mother of your Home! Period!!

THAT IS IS BS about you not being in the PIXZ!

Grr does this Piss me off! They must be Moromic Morons! I am stuttering on that right now!:mad:

Every now and then, I remember the post you wrote about your MIL giving TMI and the phrase "They're packing my vagina with cotton, you know" and laugh to myself.

That's not a phrase you hear everyday, nor is it easily forgotten.

:)

Tracy, is this the same side of the family from the hilarious re-gifting dusty glasses story?

One and the same! I'll admit that sometimes I think about my daughters' gene pool and get really, really worried. :eek:

I don't even know what this means, but I am laughing my___ off! :D