Nice response. In terms of the kids issue, it does elevate the man's status for certain women if he's not got a whole bunch of little Ray-Rays and Shamalekas around. :p
But your best point relates to how your boyfriend treats you. My ex-companion met the BlackTieMan.com criteria, but he was not there when I was lying up in the hospital recovering from painful surgery :mad: :mad:
That's one of many reasons why it petered out and I've been single for nearly three years.

Shelacious: The reason is that many of us don't want to have to put up with baby-mamma-drama. Its not about his "experience" but the potential experiences there. Also, it creates an instant family in cases where some sister's just want to start fresh with a man. I'm one of these women. A man with no kids is just fab!

SphinxPoet and his millions: Dating is just not easy. We all know that. But whether one likes it or not, we all are submitting a resume` of some sort when we begin dating. You present yourself, your qualifications, your experiences...you put it all on the proverbial table and let the chips fall where they may. I don't think that's necessarily a flaw. Its the premise that decent Black man aren't available as well as the premise that superficial traits mean everything that I take issue with. I also have a problem with the work that a woman would need to do here. For me, I'm looking for integrity, holy conviction, and strength...he doesn't have to have a Bishop Clarence McClendon level of anointing (although that sure 'nuff would be helpful), Morris Chestnut's chiseled features (although that helps), Terrence Howard's slick grin (although I like that too and it helps), the fortune nor the down to earth appeal of Papa Denzel (you've guessed it..it helps)...but it is his raw manliness and ambition for those kinds of things that I'm I find most appealing...and that's something you just can't put on paper or the Internet.

My philosophy on dating is premised on the fact that I'm a lady in waiting whom is enjoying the process...I was created to be found by a man since he is looking for his lost rib...why must I go crawling to the outermost parts of the earth when my Adam will find me in good time? If we haven't been able to meet yet, then it just isn't our time to meet. I wouldn't try to speed a process along by an Internet or any other matching service...but that's just me.

Inspired by Star Jones...........
 

Given the recent situation with Star Jones finance's sexual history, I have a scenario that sadly, may not be all that uncommon (remember the DL brotha website that Summerchild posted?). Anyway, here it is:

You are seriously dating someone who you believe is "The One". One day, he reveals to you that before you two met, he previously dated (and had sex with) men as well. He goes to say that because he later realized that this type of lifestyle wasn't for him, he decided to change his ways and only date women.

Would you stay with him (believing that people do and can change) or would you send him packing (thinking if it happened once, it will happen again)?

If it even LOOKED like we were going to be intimate, I'd ask him straight up if he ever had sex with men AND for a copy of his latest HIV test. and even after all of that, someone would be wearing a condom..

and its only alleged that star's man is/was bisexual....:rolleyes:

Re: Inspired by Star Jones...........
 

I would have to tell him "nah, baby, I'm not gon be able to do it." That is just not for me. I don't think that people can really be "confused." I think that you are one or the other. I also believe men that are truly attracted to women never have a need to experiment with other men. I would always think that my man was really homosexual and was only trying to make a life with me because he felt that it was the "right" thing to do. I don't want to wake up after 35 years of marriage and have him tell me that he still wants to be with a man.

I know, but this is still something that is we as women may face. :cool: Bisexuality is not uncommon (again, referencing the men on that website from an earlier thread).

Star's situation just inspired the question.

I think that the website has a few flaws, however, it may work just fine for some people. Some of the qualifications that it requests are also standards that I set. For example, I did not date men with children because I don't have any of my own. So, I'm not putting up with anyone else's kids of baby mama's. I don't have to settle for that.

Also, $40,000 in income doesn't make someone financially fit. If you have $100,000 in debt, $40,000 means nothing. Or if you just don't pay your bills on time and have to cash your paycheck at the liquor store, your $40,000 means nothing to me.

Unfortunately, in this day, a college degree does not guarantee a job either. So, someone might have a degree in philosophy, but be working part time at the library or something. You just never know.

However, I hope that when people register for the site, they understand that they are just making the selection pool a little clearer for them. Meeting the specified qualifications does not guarantee a match.

Re: I don't know about this...
 

Soror, you have a good point here. I have been told by many of my male friends that they want a woman who is educated, with a good job and good income, and carries herself in a way that would allow him to take her to an office party if need be. Men also want women with education and good jobs.

Also, one of my male friends remarked that there are a plethora of women who are mentally not ready - even though they have college degrees and good jobs, they still are small-minded when it comes to their mentality. For instance, there are many gold-diggers with college degrees.

I think that it's fair that the women have to be screened as well.
SC

Re: This is some SHULLBIT!
 

I agree that the owner is making many assumptions like the fact that a man looks good on paper makes him a qualified candidate. We all know that that is not the case.

I also agree that many women are looking for a man with a college degree and would not look twice at a man with a good steady job, a good head on his shoulders, but no college degree. That may be to her detriment; it may not. It is really all up to woman as to what she defines as a dealbreaker.

Personally, I don't require a college degree. But I can't lie - I like the lookers (the really fine ones). :D That is something that I recognize as a weakness and that I must work on. That sums it up, we have to look inside to determine what we need and what personal hang-ups that we need to move past. It's not about what your girlfriends will say or your family will say, it's about what you, as a woman, says is right for you.

SC