Re: Why....?
 

LOL...I'm not being specifically critical, but doesn't this remind you of Professor Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady when he sings, "Why can't a woman, be more like a man."

My bf and I are in a serious relationship, but my whole world would not stop if we broke up. Some women and even men are dependent upon a significant other, but I can function just fine without one. Quite frankly not having a bf/significant other gives me more flexibility. :D

Re: Re: Why....?
 

LOL H2oot, that's right on the money!

H2oot! Too Funny! I wanted to add that lately, you have been posting some fabulous thoughts. You were quiet for so many months and you have "literally" blossomed!

All of you young women are making some excellent points so excuse me now so I can go back to reading.

I don't think it's just women. You can't generalise that way. But I do agree that couples seem to be everywhere (and encouraged) among Greek members...it seems like people are getting lavaliered all over the place, and it's somehow such a HUUUUUGE deal to have a date for formal or semi-formal. I try not to pay too much attention to it, though--my boyfriend can't come to a lot of my sorority's functions, but it's not a big deal because I can always go with one of my sisters who is going without a date. Worrying about a date seems so high school, but it's still emphasised, and I wish it wasn't because I hate having to explain to everyone exactly why I don't have a guy on my arm.

But there are a lot of guys who aren't looking for any sort of serious relationship in college, but fortunately for me, those are guys that I wouldn't go near.

sort of long
 

On my campus it seems that there are couples everywhere, which is fine for those people who are in relationship, but for us single people it is not so fun, I know that in my house everyone who lives on my wing is always with their boyfriends and never at the house at night, I was one of the later category up untill November when my boyfriend and I had a horrible horrible break up and he left for a co op. :( :( :( why we broke up i have no idea but :confused: i digres, I personally know that I hate being single, but I know that there is something better that always comes along and thou being the single one when all your friends aren't is hard, is the time where you really have to believe that " God wants us to meet the wrong people so that when we meet the right one we know how great it will be, and if being with you was so wrong, then i can't wait to be with mr right" ( well maybe not verbatum but you get the idea) anyways being foucused on relationships is something that women do.. we are almost bread to think that untill we have that ring on our finger we are not "whole" I don't think it is a healthy one but one that our society has given us.... sorry so long winded

an AchtungBaby80 i totally know how you feel, as one of the single greeks it really does that people are always doing something...

Thank you. :) I enjoy your posts, too.

I am in college, and have absolutely no desire to have a serious relationship. I rather resent the remark that women "need" relationships, but i'll let it slide :) Maybe you were misguided there...I know a heck of a lot of women who are entirely independent, myself included. And like some of the other women on this thread have said, it's not just women who desire serious relationships...I know quite a few males my age and especially a few years older who think they are ready for a serious committment, whether I agree or not is a different story.

I do understand. Many girls define themselves by the men they date. But I don't think that is most of the time.

But to be honest, I think we just like attention from men, well at least that goes for me. I always have good guy friends that also have the same benifit without the responsibility of a boyfriend. I wasn't in any serious relationship until Senior year and that worked well for me.

What I do not understand are the girls, always in a relationship, like constant rebounding.

My campus must be different. I've only met one guy (that I really dig) that desired serious relationships while I met about a hundred of females that did. As one person said, relationship orientation has been drilled into females by society.

SAE1955, my goodness, you actually had the nerve to say what ive been wanting to scream since I was in HS ;) I think everyone has good thoughts on this subject.
Here's my feelings on this.I was the good girl who focused on academics and wanted to get into college. Besides my "friends" back then had so many bf's and bf porblems that they had enough for me. College.. I went to Michigan. Nuff said. Id say about 80% of the campus was single, those who were in "relationships" openly cheated on each other. My campus was nothing but on big booty call. Everyone had been with everyone kinda. Not that there werent any guys who werent bf material, but everyone was young and just wanted to have fun. Which was what I wanted too. Now im done and still in my early 20's and this is fun ME time. Dont want a bf, and not looking for one. However if it happens it happens. The only time I even thought about having a bf is when my friends that had them kind of forced the subject on me.
I agree that girls seem so set on relationships nowadays to a point where its almost sickening. Guys too but it is mostly girls. And I agree about those who feel they constantly need to have a bf. I think its a dependency issue, which is probably not going to be healthy in the long run. I have a friend who is 22 and currently engaged, and my bestfriend got married at 19 and now at the age of 22 has 11 mo. old. For me... this is wayyyyy to young. I havent even began to "live" my life yet at 22. Who has? But hey thats them.
My thing is im still young. Before I even committ to something serious like marriage I want to do stuff Ive always want to do. I want to be done with grad school and have a career (not job)or lat least a lil through it, travel a bit, go wild from the ages of 22-26, be financially stable and only have to depend on my mom if its a DIRE emergency. I just feel that if I got married early I wouldnt have a life outside of the marriage. I dont want to be known as "Mrs Whatever" or so and so's wife. I want to have an accomplished me. Im an Hyphenating my name If I ever do get married. I dont want to be one of those mom's who's on Jenny Jones with my teen saying I am trying to relive my 20's or even worst be in unhappy in marriage. What I dont understand is why many women feel they will die or its the end of the world if they dont have a bf or they dont get married? To me those who go around trying to keep a bf and relationship just prolong their agony.
JAM I really love your post, always right on the mark!

I remember reading a novel once where the author was decribing the thought processes of one of the main characters. The man prized his niece because she had common sense and he didn't believe many women did, the author went on to reflect that men don't have any more common sense than women but the male character looked for that abscence in them.

Thats a bit of a digression but you see where I am going.

In my experience, cliches and generalizations aside, I have met as many men into relationships as women, its just that us men don't tend to date other men. So we gripe about women doing the same thing we do. We look for that behavior.

Unfortunately, the relationship seekers of each gender don't always run into each other or at the right time.

Plus a lot of people on both sides try to force relationships that just don't have a deep mutual connection . . . and so one side or the other is unhappy or running away.

Just my two cents,

James

I don't know if yall read my bitch post but I'm in a looong term relationship and beginning to wonder what else is out there. I'm just glad it's not abnormal for me to want to play around for a while :D
Heidi

well i have not been in a serious relationship while in school and i dont think i am worse off for it.

but sometimes lonliness sucks.

Im not in the marriage mart but some male romantic companionship would be the icing on the cake right now

so i would not say i NEED a man -- i just want one:cool:

Originally posted by UMgirl

Here's my feelings on this.I was the good girl who focused on academics and wanted to get into college.

Ditto!


....im done and still in my early 20's and this is fun ME time. Dont want a bf, and not looking for one. However if it happens it happens. The only time I even thought about having a bf is when my friends that had them kind of forced the subject on me.


That about sums up my attitude as well! I just want to be a little wild and have a little fun.