Yes
 

Yes an officer can check membership but I am not an officer. Of course I could verify with an alumnae chapter but she is not active. oh well.

Perhaps, given that you've said she's "at your throat" and in general giving you a difficult time, you should let this go. Focus on your employment, etc - and be civil/cordial/whatever, but just cut her a wide berth. That may be your best choice at the present time. Eventually she'll get found out.

With us it doesn't matter if they are active. If they were initiated and haven't been expelled nor resigned, they are in the database. It does show if they've paid dues but if they haven't, that doesn't matter. They are still members so they still show up

I think she's saying that officers can check anyone, but that her sorority's policy is that the officers who can check don't share that info with others. Since she's not an officer and doesn't have that ability, her other option would be to check with the perp's alumnae chapter if she claimed to be active in one to see if she really is, but since she's not claiming to an active member of an alumnae chapter, then there's no alumnae chapter to check with.

Deidrapsych, I think AZTheta's advice may the best at this point. I think it's safe to assume that if she is a perp, then sooner or later she will be found out.

The more you share the more you sound like a perp trying to figure out how to avoid getting busted.

If you're really a 20 year member you should know how to find out this information and calling the National Office is not the way. I'm not a member and know how to get this forwarded and confirmed.

Please don't set yourself (or your "friend") up thinking that only officers can out you.

If your "friend" told you to come to this board that person is not your friend or is also a perp. Get some new older members to guide you before you embarrass yourself.

On the offhand chance that this applies just quit perping. The long term ramifications of this lie will follow you for the rest of your life especially now with social media. If membership was that important you should respect it enough to earn it the right way.