GreekChat.com Forums - Should I drop my sorority?

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- - Should I drop my sorority? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=140283)

*winter*

03-23-2014 11:53 AM

Taking care of yourself while finishing school is priority. A sorority piles on a bunch more stress with requirements and such, and there is the awkwardness of seeing people who make you uncomfortable. This ship may have sailed, and that's okay too, as long as you are taking care of yourself.

ree-Xi

03-23-2014 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emoore (Post 2266660)

I'm currently alumni status in my sorority as a junior. I joined freshman year during the spring. From the start the sorority seemed cliquey and I was uncomfortable because I didn't know a single girl upon joining. In addition I felt out of place because being ethnic I look much different than most of the girls. I always wanted to be in a sorority and this was definitely my top choice however it was just difficult trying to integrate myself into friend groups. I of course had a big assigned to me but I've come to realize we don't have much in common and therefore aren't really close. Come sophomore year relationships were still distant and I was only close with a couple girls if that. Unfortunately I was depressed at this time and I ended up having a public mental breakdown that winter. I never dissed the sorority during this but most of the girls still think I deliberately wanted to tarnish their image or that i was on drugs/crazy. I took a semester off and then went abroad. I'm back now and most of the girls are flat out ignoring me even though I spoke in front of them and declared I took time off as a medical leave. I just don't know what to do at this point. I feel so disconnected from campus with few friends to turn to. Should I try to stay in the sorority even though there are girls who clearly don't want anything to do with me?

I really think that you need to use discretion in this situation. The internet is forever, and I'm not just talking about GC.

LAblondeGPhi

03-23-2014 12:29 PM

I echo everyone's suggestions to reach out to the chapter president to discuss your options. This also should give you a good idea about how accepting the chapter would be to have you back.

If you do decide to become involved again, there might be an opportunity to address your leave of absence by helping with PACE/chapter enrichment programming on mental illness and campus resources.

Gamma Phi specifies that certain chapter meetings be set aside for PACE (personal and chapter enrichment) programming. As an undergrad, we once had a guest speak from one of the on-campus mental health resource centers, and a sister helped introduced the event by discussing how helpful she had found the resources her freshman year when she was struggling to adjust to college life. I thought it was a wonderful way for her to help introduce the chapter to an issue that was meaningful to her.

Tom Earp

03-23-2014 02:40 PM

The important part to remember, you are a member for life. After you graduate, all/much of the undergrad part is past history no matter how bad it was or the good, the bad, or the ugly!

But you are still a member of a Great Sorority no matter what!

Hold your head high and just go on with your life.

All the best!

ree-Xi

03-23-2014 03:18 PM

In addition to talking to members of the Executive board of your chapter, you should read up on your organization's defined statuses. I guarantee you can find your chapter's and your Inter/National organization's bylaws and constitution online in five seconds.

Note that different orgs might use different names for the same things.
Some examples:

- active/collegiate/undergrad
- interim/inactive/hiatus
- "early alumna"/"5th year" - some NPCs do not have this status of any kind; you either stay or your go
- resigned/removed/revoked/terminated - no longer a member
- alumna/graduate

We aren't the people who can answer any of the questions as they pertain to your specific situation. If you don't feel comfortable talking to a collegiate member, talk to someone at HQ - they should at least be able to tell you your official status and which choices (if any) you have.

Of course, if you want to remain a member - which you don't seem sure about since you claim they are cliquey and you feel like you are an outsider - you should be able and willing to talk to chapter members. Otherwise, what is the point?

SoCalGirl

03-23-2014 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Earp (Post 2266715)

Not really true.

A member can terminate her membership voluntarily or be involuntarily expelled. If that happens, she would not have any of the privileges of alumna status.

rockwallgreek

03-23-2014 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl (Post 2266718)

Not really true.

A member can terminate her membership voluntarily or be involuntarily expelled. If that happens, she would not have any of the privileges of alumna status.

True, but if she was granted inactive status, then she needs to talk to the Chapter Advisor. If her membership was suspended, she needs to talk to the CA.

ree-Xi

03-23-2014 09:12 PM

Every. Greek. Organization. Is. Different.
The. NPC. Is. Different. From. Fraternities.
Every. NPC. Organization. Is. Different.
Every. Chapter. Within. A. Partucular. Organization. Is. Different.

What happens in YOUR chapter/org may differ from what will or does happen in the OP's chapter of initiation.

Blue Skies

03-23-2014 09:37 PM

Get your status with your sorority sorted out first and then come back here. People will better be able to advise you if they are sure of your status.

Emoore

03-24-2014 04:59 PM

My status is inactive like I said before.

Titchou

03-24-2014 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emoore (Post 2266903)

My status is inactive like I said before.

You said you are an alum. Alum status and inactive status are two entirely different things. You obviously need clarity.

33girl

03-24-2014 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emoore (Post 2266903)

My status is inactive like I said before.

But what we're saying is that word means different things in every group. Did you read the responses in the thread?

adpiucf

03-24-2014 07:57 PM

Agreed you need to contact the president to determine your status. If you're an alumna, you are no longer a member of the chapter. If you were inactive while you were out for medical treatment and studying abroad, your time is probably up and you owe dues... which means you may have/could have already been terminated as a member.

But, regardless, move on and get better. I don't think the sorority is a good fit for you.

MysticCat

03-24-2014 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf (Post 2266941)

If you're an alumna, you are no longer a member of the chapter.

Picking nits, I know, but in some groups being an alumnus or alumna and a member of the chapter are not mutually exclusive. The distinction is between being an alumnus/a member of the chapter and an active or collegiate member of the chapter.

Which again just underscores why the answer should be gotten from the HQ of the sorority in question, not from people on the internet who don't know the specifics of the OP's status or the policies of the sorority in question.

agzg	03-24-2014 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Earp (Post 2266715)

Ironic.

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