Something else to think about
 

Some other things that complicate the problem is all of the negative reinforcement going on. Television is full of shows wherein you have a brother that appears to be weak in some obvious way, and the sista so determined to show the brother how strong and independent she is. The talk shows, specifically oprah, with all of the men-bashing, don't help our relationships either. Alot of sistas are influenced by what they see on these shows, and eventually end up playin' out these same scenes in their real-life relationships-only to find out later that their man's patience is shorter than the dude on t.v. Also, look at the music we listen to. Check out the themes of cd's and videos. Alot of women think this kinda stuff doesn't influence them, but it does; and no brother really wants to deal with that. Materialism will kill ANY relationship; and brothas aint tryin' to hear yall tell us how yall can get yall's own.

To find and keep a good brutha, some women are going to have to lower their economic expectations of their prospective man. Believe it or not.

i truly hear you
 

Original Ape,
I should be being productive here at work but i had to respond. it killed me that when i was in college, other college women expected their college men to have a car, mad money, tight ass clothes and everything else. and how come those same girls didnt have anything to their name. i definitely think we women have to think outside the bank when it comes to our men. if a woman doesnt have anything to her name, how can she expect and demand that her man has all stih tight????
my boyfriend is in law school which translates to "he has nothing." although i have a job and sometimes fit the bill when we go out, it's truly all right with me because i know he is making a life for himself and it is an investment.
we have to support our men no matter if they have no money or all the money. i find that a lot of black men i know always complain that black women are all about the money but dont have any themselves.
all right i'm out.

I totally agree.. I find it crazy that there are lots of people, both men and women who have a long list of things that they want their potential partners to bring to a relationship, but the things that they are requesting are not even present in their own lives. And that pretty much goes for alot of things. Like I still dont understand how men can request that their women have a body to drool over, but are sitting at home with a beer belly!!! :mad: Or that women must have a man with a car, but are still taking the bus to get around. I think that we need to realize that in order to request somethings from a significant other, we have to be able to bring the same things to the table.

Now as for lowering our standards.. goodness gracious :eek:
I dont think that should even have to be the case. If I have a college degree or I'm making a certain amount of money, Am I wrong for looking for a man that is on the same level that I am on?? :(

It is true we all have some misconceptions about women in relationships, but just to harp on what OA has already hinted at, don't rely on talk shows and the like on TV for relationship advice! Trust me, Oprah does not have the perfect relationship. My opinion, warped as it might be, is that she singlehandly does all the scaring. Poor Stedman(sp?)!

YOU ARE so Right Metamorphosis as my as your soror from Pi Beta #3 Sp 96 told me one time "IS that too much to ask?" Set no standard that you yourself cannot achieve! That goes both ways.............But also be understanding as well..........:p

:eek: oooooooh, you know my spec sphinx??? Goodness, it sure us a small world!!

LOL where there are brothers and sisters it always is!

TTT as I still wonder, "Men are you SCURRED?" :p