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- - What advice to give to others who get that "no" multiple times... (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=137411)

I prefer to give a PNM the benefit of the doubt.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDCat (Post 2253558)

If I had to come up with a response to that (VERY RUDE) PNM, I would say something like this: "It doesn't matter how you end up in the organization that you end up in. If it's going to work out and be a positive experience, the organization has to provide experiences that you enjoy and want to have, and you have to bring positive traits that contribute to the organization. You can't just chose a group because 'nobody else wants me.' You have to ultimately find something of value in that group and bring something of value to that group. Before you chose an organization, you should think about whether that group can do that for you and whether you can do that for that group."

I think this is a great response, KDCat!

On the other side of this though, I would give her a chance. She wants to be apart of the organization and community. She will probably come into the organization for the wrong reasons (the hoodies, etc) but will probably stay because the relationship that she builds. I won't deny doing this for a service organization. I joined for the wrong reasons, but ended up serving as the VP of Membership (saw a 200% membership increase that year), VP of Service and eventually as chapter President. I met my best friend because I joined that organization and I know we will be each other's MOH in the coming years.

@ SLAM...that was kind of my point above. Sometimes people come for the wrong reasons, but stay for the right ones. We've had some sisters fall in that category...

At the same time, if this girl hasn't let go of her desire to be in a social sorority, she is probably not ready for membership in a non-social one. I say, let her go through Recruitment one more time and see where things fall. If someone is verbalizing that your organization is something of a last resort, it's hard to take that person seriously as a PNM.

I would tell the girl that you found sisterhood and happiness with a GLO, just not in the way that you initially expected. That is a good metaphor for life in general, that you have to work through disappointments and setbacks, which are inevitable, and keep striving for happiness and fulfillment. It is a lesson that she will learn in time.

I would tell her to give NPC recruitment one more try. Women sometimes get a bid on the third try. Ask her to let you know how it goes. I would not bring up the possibility of her joining BSP. Let her bring it up if she is interested.