I understand what you're saying. Just try to chill. Your anxiety does you no favors. If you have friends in fraternities who are real friends, not just a guy you know from class, then you just have to be your warm welcoming self and they'll see that. Authenticity is the key! Don't be a douche or what you think they want you to be. If you're good enough to have real friends then you're good enough. That's not to say you WILL get a bid, but no amount of second guessing what you say, how to dress, whatever, is going to guarantee it either. They're choosing FRIENDS first and foremost. Try to not think about it beyond that.

Thank you. Believe me I'm trying not to be anxious about this whole thing but I can't help it sometimes. These are real friends and I definitely will try to be myself, although perhaps a tad more outgoing than usual. I was far too introverted last rush as I said before. I couldn't see it at the time, but looking back It's pretty plain to see. I didn't initiate enough conversations. I'm just naturally a little more reserved than most in some social situations (strangely I talk to girls a lot more easily than I do guys) so I do this thing where I try to plan out possible conversation scenarios in my head. Practice makes perfect like someone said earlier :) But you're all right I know I need to relax.

And remember, some groups may be rushing and just not letting the word out. Your Greek Life Office is the definitive source on that.

Would now be too early to email the Greek life office and ask about that type of thing? Or should I wait to hear a general announcement from them? Is reaching out to the Greek life office something students do often? I just ask because I know none of my friends here did that prior to joining their fraternities. But I suppose it's a far different scenario now. Should I do it?

Yes, you should do it. And don't email. Pick up the phone or go by in person and talk directly with the person who is over fraternities. No emails, no intern in the office, no secretary. The adviser, phone call or in person.

I think I'm going to at least email and set something up rather than just wander in there at some random time. That way they'll know what to expect and maybe be able to prepare/find out some info for me beforehand. But regardless of how I contact them, what should I say? That I still want to join a fraternity and I'd like to know which ones are considering having rushes in the spring? Ask for advice? I've never spoken to this person/group of people before so I really don't know what to expect. What exactly is the function of a Greek life office as it pertains to someone like me interested in rushing?

Yes. To all of the above. The person (man or woman) is a paid employee, there to help with just these types of questions. Mostly s/he will probably take your name and forward it to any fraternities who ask for a list of interested guys. But s/he may also be able to provide some insight or support.

The role of the Greek Life office is to make sure these chapters run smoothly and above reproach. S/he is the grown up making sure the kids are playing by the rules. That's very simplistic because depending on the size of your school/Greek system each chapter can be the equivalent of a small business, or even a medium size business! But there needs to be a disinterested third party whose job it is to make sure everyone works with each other and with the school, and also as an intermediary between the outside world and the Greek members and their chapters. So s/he won't be able to HELP you get into a chapter but depending on how good s/he is, may be able to give you some tools to use.

Also mention to your friends in fraternities that are "not rushing" that you are interested in Greek Life. Chapters often quietly pick up a few NM's in the spring without holding formal rush events. Don't be creepy about it, but make sure the word is sorta out there.

You just tell the Adviser that you are interested in rushing and can s/he make sure the fraternities who are rushing know you are available. This person is in charge of the fraternities and they have to let this person know when they are recruiting and when they get new members. So, this person will be clued in to what is going on with all the fraternities. S/he may also have some suggestions for you. So, Hi, I'm John Smith and would like to join a fraternity. Can you help me make sure they all know I am available for spring rush? What all should I know about the process?

I've seen my chapter cut potentials who had this much anxiety about recruitment. It can come off as very socially awkward and none of us is looking for a new socially awkward member. Just go through the process and if you have real friends, talk to them and have faith that they'll advocate for you. The less awkward communication you have with other members, the better.

The above post is spot on especially at a campus with such a small Greek sysrem as yours. Chill, chill, chill.

Just an update - no fraternities at my school are holding spring rush anymore. So now it's not so much anxiety ABOUT recruitment, it's anxiety that recruitment will never happen for me. It's saaaad :(

You have a penis (theoretically). If fraternities want to bid you, they can, unless there's some moratorium on pledging imposed by the school.

Regardless of whether or not the fraternities hold rush this spring, you should try to make friends anyway. It's all about personal relationships. However, if you try to make friends with a particular person/people for the sole purpose of trying to get into their fraternity, they might see through that.

Also, while it's fine to think of potential answers to potential questions beforehand, rehearsing how and exactly what you are going to say will make you nervous. You don't have to tell your entire story in one sentence.

Lastly, relax. Remember that a primary component of all social (and even service, multi-cultural and professional) Fraternities and Sororities is friendship. Good luck!