again, not true for every sorority.

Well, anyone at pref goes somewhere on the bid list.

Unless, of course, she was hugely rude during pref or some other "horrid" information was learned between pref and when the bid list has to be turned in....like someone sent them a copy of her rap sheet.

If the chapter had released her any earlier, the complaint would be, "They didn't even give her a chance!" As it is now, the complaint is, "They took her all the way until right before pref and released her!"

The only way the chapter wins in the eyes of the mama & daughter is if they pledge her. For some reason, whatever reason, they chose not to.

As tough as it is on alumnae and family, we must realize that we had votes when we were collegians and now the current actives have that right to decide.

I don't even think there had to be an especially good reason. Sometimes, chapters decide to release girls for reasons of "fit" which might boil down to the girls just being kind of plain relative to the rest of the PNM pool.

I personally hate that, but I think it happens every year probably within all of the NPC groups.

If the mom really wants to know, she should work within her own group, but there's probably no good that will come of pursuing it.

Yep. This happened at my own colonization. We found out afterwards that 1 PNM who attended pref was not offered a bid and many moons later some of us found out that she basically was disrespectful and rude to the sisters during the party. Colonization is a different set of circumstances, but this was the only PNM invited to pref who did not receive an invitation...

It's a very rare event that something like this happens, and most panhellenics still require that you list every person at pref on your bid list. Once you have them at pref, you're stuck. Better get that rap sheet in earlier.

I have seen it happen - though you have to convince the GA and the RFM specialist to drop one from your list. But it can - and does happen.

That right there is the problem. I've also seen it happen where they've told chapters to just put the PNM at the bottom of the list.

With RFM, you're still going to end up with her. RFM has changed the playing field with the bid list. Used to you could put them at the end and not end up with them since QA's were limited to 5% of quota. But now, there is no limit so if you don't want them, don't invite them to pref. And if you find out something untoward at the last minute, you better be lobbying your folks and the GA.

Unless you fill before you reach the end of your bid list and she gets a bid elsewhere.

The problem with RFM is that no one "fills" until all are placed that can be placed. There is no limit in RFM to the number of NMs you can take. If they have maximized their options, you could end up with her. I've seen it happen in the beginning of RFM when everyone was working on the old premise till they ended up with folks who were at the end of their bid list. Uh-oh! Things have changed and so does our method of list making.

Thanks everyone! The legacy sorority was her top choice so her telling them she wasn't interested isn't likely. She doesn't have a rap sheet and as far as I know isn't a total floozy. I couldn't say how she behaved because I wasn't there. In the end she chose to drop out and try again next year. :(

Some do. It depends on how thin a margin you are working with. It's easy to issue absolutes, but look at bid numbers. There are many campuses with groups that take quota and nothing more. A handful take quota plus. A few take quota plus a lot. If you have more than 3x the number of woman as can fit in your pledge class, you are at a higher risk of taking a large number of quot additions...and could probably use them. In that case, begging as hard as you can to get rid of trouble PNM is probably the only way to avoid seeing her on bid day.