If you were hoping that your cousin might write a recommendation for you, it might work out better if one of her friend's who is in good standing with the chapter write one for you. You might ask your cousin to put you in contact with someone and proceed from there.

I can appreciate that and it is good to note that sorority polices differ. I answered because her cousin is an ADPi.

Well, it is a membership decision. And for that reason could be considered "secret." Also it's just plain rude to be so nosy about someone else's financial/scholastic/personal situation.

Asking personal questions can startle, bring up bad or sad memories, and just plain embarrass people, perhaps this is why the member was vague.

Hey cuz! So tell me about how and why you flunked out of college! Hmmm, pretty much not cool. Going to a bunch of strangers for more dirt, also not cool. This might be a good teaching moment for you: some things really are none of your business and making yourself look bad isn't going to get you closer to knowing more gossip. If /when your cousin wants to discuss it with you, she'll let you know.

Whoa whoa whoa. Y'all are becoming too aggressive. I was not getting "dirt" on my cousin. I was legitimately wondering if there were policies about grades and becoming inactive bc I want to study abroad. There's also the possibility (however doubtful) something may happen with my grades bc I have been having serious health issues. I didn't want to blast my problems, so I asked the question in the easiest way I could. There is absolutely no need to accuse me of anything when all I did was ask what being inactive was and if you can become un-inactive. Don't answer the question if you're really that hung up on hypothetical "privacy"

The only valid answer is for you - or whomever - to check with your own chapter. We can't really answer the question for you unless we are members of your chapter. And how your chapter handles these issues is private. If you don't care about your private business being made public - fine. But I am sue your chapter and GLO do. And we respect that,

I thought this was about your cousin and general curiosity? Why are you talking about YOUR studying abroad?

Try to get your lies together then come back. Thanks

Right..
 

How exactly was that lying? I didn't even know there was a thing called inactive until it happened to my cousin. That's why I'm curious for myself. I fronted her story so as not to have to go into my issues. I brought myself up to explain that I'm not prying into my cousin's privacy. No lies. Sorry you didn't understand

If you have grade and health issues, do yourself a favor and get a handle on them BEFORE you try to pledge. The new member period can be very busy and not necessarily conducive to making problems better.

She's a PNM.

turtlebutter, I suggest you step away from the keyboard, take a deep breath, and then consider how your posts might come across to people who know nothing about you and can only go by what you've written. I don't think anyone has been aggressive, nor do I think anyone suggested that you were getting "dirt" on your cousin. What they said was that the reason your cousin didn't say much was because your question might have made her uncomfortable or embarrassed.

What people have also very clearly said is that there is no real answer to your question, so there's nothing anyone can tell you to satisfy your curiosity or help you plan for what might be -- policies about this vary from sorority to sorority and perhaps even from chapter to chapter. And often, it's something only the member in question and relevant officers really know the details of. Consider this a chance to learn that there are some things that aren't discussed outside of membership, and some things it's not considered appropriate to ask questions about.

Good luck with recruitment.

Please heed the advice that MysticCat gave.