I would love to hear where her kid ends up!

I'm predicting a high probability of "nowhere" if they don't get real about this, and I did tell her how risky their plan was. What I don't understand is where this boldness is coming from. There has been emphasis on open minds and getting recs to every chapter for quite awhile now, and I don't see where actives or alumnae are minimizing the importance of them or promoting the idea that you narrow down your interests before recruitment even starts -- and then bast your specific interests on social media. That's just not okay!

I received an e-mail asking for help getting recs to two of the seven sororities at Texas State. I simply wrote back asking if she had the other five covered - have not heard back. If she is planning on only asking for recs for the two I'm not going to help her. She's missed the GKAP deadline, and I don't feel inclined to help someone who is going to discount 5/7 of the terrific chapters at my alma mater.

SWTXBelle, the Gamma Phi Beta chapter at Okla State is particularly nice--as I'm sure you know. I hope at least one of your rec girls for OSU ends up a sister of yours. :)

I will be rushing at (clearly) Florida State this fall. :)

Methinks that there will be ALOT of recruitment threads started this fall that WON'T be finished as "snowflake" has her heart set on "1 chapter" who is "worthy of her awesomeness" and then is disappointed when 1) she gets dropped completely or 2) said chapter drops her.

Living in the Mid-Atlantic area, many families don't have any concept about recs and recruitment. As of today, I have not yet written any recs, not that I haven't offered. I know many girls going to schools where they really need them (e.g. Univ. of South Carolina and UVa to name just a couple). I have offered more than once and talked about the importance of both recs and being prepared going into recruitment. It's so frustrating!!!! Every year I go through this and generally only a couple take me up on my offer.

Yea, I know what you mean. This spring, I heard about the sister of a co worker going through rush at a competitive school and offered to write a rec. Co-worker said, "oh, I don't think she will need to do all that....it just seems so over the top"

I tried to tell her it was vital at the school, but got the eyeroll. I could just hear her thinking, "OMG you old bag, stuck in the past with your white gloves, cotillions and RECOMMENDATIONS!" Shrug. Hope it works out for her. Bless her heart.

What gets me about these situations is that, if they'd read info on the Panhellenic websites of these schools, they would know recs are not over the top and do need to be taken seriously. If they had any idea what some PNMs go through to get the needed recs, they would appreciate an actual offer from someone to provide one.

A friend and I (alums for different sororities) were at a party once, talking with a mom whose daughter was heading into a competitive SEC recruitment. We both offered to do recs, but got an "oh-aren't-you-sweet-but-thanks-but-no-thanks" smile as she told us her daughter was "pretty much guaranteed" bids to certain chapters because of inside connections. You can imagine how rushing at a competitive SEC school sans recs worked out. This happened several years ago, but the topic of recruitment is still off-limits with the mom.

Can we attempt to get some sort of unscientific study of girls going through rush, if they had recs and if so to every chapter? and how many to each chapter. I know there's no way to say SEE, this is what happens, but maybe with some black and white numbers we can at least start to give odds of success without significant recs.
Maybe we could start with the rec writers. Can you dig to find out if your rec girl gets a bid to somewhere other than your chapter, did she have a rec to that chapter, and if so, how many? Because, who knows? Maybe it is overkill. I doubt it, but I could be wrong.

What I'm starting to wonder about in regards to recs is, not so much are they over-the-top, but at what point does the number of recs become over-the-top. I've sent a lot of recs to Alabama, where it's never been unusual for PNMs to try to get 3 or 4 recs to every chapter.

Now, the Panhellenic website says that no more than two should be sent in. I don't recall seeing this prior to this year:

"While it is common to send multiple Recommendations/References to one sorority from separate alumnae; it is unnecessary at UA to exceed more than two. As such, please use personal discretion when deciding on how many Letter of Recommendations/References will be sent on your behalf." http://uapanhellenic.com/index.php?o...d=15&Itemid=32

I can't imagine the paperwork involved with these recs, especially at Bama where you have 2000 PNMs, many sending in 3-4 recs and the bulk arriving in June and July. Yikes. Wouldn't want to be recruitment chair. Also, a Bama sorority member recently told me that any PNM who has more than two recs sent in needs to make sure the additional ones are outstanding and worth the sorority's time to read. Of course, this was one active in one chapter at one school.

I know on the Panhellenic website for Tennessee, each sorority lists how many recs are required, which is one. Also, the UGA website now says "Many PNMs attempt to secure one recommendation from each sorority that we have represented on our campus (17) prior to the beginning of the recruitment process."

I'm starting to get the idea that one rec for each chapter is fine, and that as time goes on, more than two may be seen as treading into over kill territory.

Thoughts?

Yea, I wonder at getting 3 or 4, especially if they are not personal. Information only recs all say the same thing. It is different if the rec writer actually KNOWS the PNM.

God daughter had one for each sorority at S Carolina 3 years ago, two from her legacy group, three from my sorority ( yes, I wanted her to go KD!) and had a terrific recruitment. Most of her recs were from family friends or professional connections. We prepped her for clothing, what to expect and conversation tips. She felt confident, but knew it was not really a mutual selection-- that the sororities held most of the cards and she knew to expect some tears along the way.

I really feel for the PNMs who are headed to competitive recruitments and are the first in the family to go to college or explore greek life.

I totally agree about information only recs. I write a ton of those and I don't see any benefit to having more than one. I think for personal recs 2 is great. Different rec writers may describe different aspects of a PNM's attributes and it could give the chapter more information. Plus, occasionally the reputation of the rec writer can be significant to how heavily the rec is considered.

I'll update this list later. I'm heading to Minneapolis this morning

So far:

Ole Miss 5
Alabama 1
Auburn 1