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-   Sorority Recruitment (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/forumdisplay.php?f=217)
-   -   Is Colony Recruitment Worth It? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=134885)

adpiucf 06-29-2013 12:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old_Row (Post 2223070)
If you are an adult and paying for your sorority I don't understand why that would be your parents' business if you are keeping up with your grades and everything else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubaiSis (Post 2223076)
It doesn't matter why. If they are going to punish her because of something bad she's doing (which is their perception), then the OP has to work within that construct. Is it wrong? Yes. But that's what she's got to work with so the best we can do is give her advice to deal with it.
On the one hand, it is not their business and she is an adult to live her life as she pleases. On the other, if someone is paying your tuition and living expenses, and they threaten to cut off part or all of it if you join a sorority, I'd think you should consider your options. Unfair? It's their money and no legal obligation to support their adult kid. I'm sorry that this will be an unpopular opinion, but I do think the tangible benefits of graduating debt-free in today's society outweigh the intangible benefits of Greek Life. If OP will only be slightly burdened by the lack of financial support and is ok with that, that's another story. If she feels her parents are oppressive, I'd still take their money and then deal with that issue after she graduates debt-free.

atrianglepi 06-29-2013 12:58 PM
I know a girl who joined a colony last fall. It was her Senior year. Her parents were against it, even though her mother had been in a different GLO in college. She went through the interview process with some advice from her BFF's mom(me). She was chosen and thoroughly enjoyed her experience. Fast forward, she has graduated moved back to her home state, where she has gotten involved with her local Alumnae group and signed up to act as an advisor to a local chapter. It is for a lifetime!

clemsongirl 06-29-2013 10:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkandpearls (Post 2223125)
Thanks SO much for all of the advice, every last comment is appreciated and taken into consideration. Y'all are the best! I am leaning towards moving forward with colonization and I am looking at ways that I can save money elsewhere (i.e. I am pretty sure I can switch my meal plan to an Upperclassman one and save $1200/semester and if dues, fees, and extras are in line with other chapters currently at my school that should cover almost everything and I do work and have merit scholarships to help cover non-sorority expenses) so I can take a minimal amount out of my savings. If that doesn't work out I do have the money, but I am trying to be responsible and graduate debt free with some money to start my life after my bachelor's. And to address about going through formal recruitment this year; I do think there is a fairly decent chance of me receiving a bid, however I have a night class again (I work and take 18 credits so it ends up being inevitable) and I don't feel comfortable skipping the first meeting of a class, so formal is unfortunately not an option for me.
Does your school allow you to miss class for recruitment? I know at Clemson if you miss a class for recruitment you are automatically released , so you have to discuss your schedule with your Pi Chis at the beginning of the week and get permission to arrive late or miss parties to accommodate classes. One of the girls I met in band had to do this to work around band rehearsals-she could only go to 10 of the twelve houses in the first round, but she ended up having a very successful recruitment nonetheless. Have you talked to the Office of Greek Life about working around your class?

33girl 06-29-2013 10:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by adpiucf (Post 2223078)
On the one hand, it is not their business and she is an adult to live her life as she pleases. On the other, if someone is paying your tuition and living expenses, and they threaten to cut off part or all of it if you join a sorority, I'd think you should consider your options. Unfair? It's their money and no legal obligation to support their adult kid. I'm sorry that this will be an unpopular opinion, but I do think the tangible benefits of graduating debt-free in today's society outweigh the intangible benefits of Greek Life. If OP will only be slightly burdened by the lack of financial support and is ok with that, that's another story. If she feels her parents are oppressive, I'd still take their money and then deal with that issue after she graduates debt-free.
The issue here has NOTHING to do with money or graduating debt-free. The issue here has to deal with overly controlling parents. "If you join and can't keep your grades up, you'll have to quit" - mean, but understandable. But flat out saying if you join this or that group, even if you pay for it all yourself and keep your grades up, you get less money? What's next? If you live in the coed dorm, we'll cut you off? If you don't get home on time for Thanksgiving break, we'll cut you off? "Assistance" with strings of this sort based on it has nothing to do with love for a child, it has to do with control.

Personally I think she should tell her parents to shove their money up their asses and emancipate herself, but that's easy for me to say.

adpiucf 06-29-2013 11:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2223129)

Personally I think she should tell her parents to shove their money up their asses and emancipate herself, but that's easy for me to say.
Could not agree with you more. It's the lack of jobs out there and 5-6 figure debt that compels me to recommend students to suck it up until they graduate, and then do as they please. :( I paid my own way through (what was then a cheap) undergrad, and now that I'm saddled with insane grad school debt, I really think twice when students with a parent-paid ride want to bite the hand that feeds them. I think you're absolutely right, but if I had to do it over and had help, I'd gladly accept any restrictions on my social activities if it meant not having to live in this level of student debt.

pinkandpearls 06-29-2013 11:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by clemsongirl (Post 2223128)
Does your school allow you to miss class for recruitment? I know at Clemson if you miss a class for recruitment you are automatically released , so you have to discuss your schedule with your Pi Chis at the beginning of the week and get permission to arrive late or miss parties to accommodate classes. One of the girls I met in band had to do this to work around band rehearsals-she could only go to 10 of the twelve houses in the first round, but she ended up having a very successful recruitment nonetheless. Have you talked to the Office of Greek Life about working around your class?
I have, and unfortunately there isn't much they can do...they do not have those sanctions that Clemson has about missing a class for recruitment. Last fall I would of had to miss the first part of each day (other than weekends) which would not have been feasible, and this year I would have to miss basically all of pref night. It is unfortunate and I have stumbled upon Greek Life websites of other schools that have an extra day for students who are in the same boat as I am, but sadly my school does not offer anything like that. I am bummed, but I like to keep a positive attitude and think that everything happens for a reason. Colonization is rare at my school, so the fact that a chapter with a large national reputation is colonizing when I am ready for it seems like a great opportunity so I am definitely thankful for that.

DubaiSis 06-30-2013 03:44 AM
You have a great and very responsible attitude. I'm sure you'll work it out.

ASTalumna06 06-30-2013 04:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by adpiucf (Post 2223130)
Could not agree with you more. It's the lack of jobs out there and 5-6 figure debt that compels me to recommend students to suck it up until they graduate, and then do as they please. :( I paid my own way through (what was then a cheap) undergrad, and now that I'm saddled with insane grad school debt, I really think twice when students with a parent-paid ride want to bite the hand that feeds them. I think you're absolutely right, but if I had to do it over and had help, I'd gladly accept any restrictions on my social activities if it meant not having to live in this level of student debt.
So are you saying you'd be willing to give up your entire sorority experience if someone paid you enough? Whether that's accurate or not, I don't know, but I think it's really easy to say what you've said when you're already in a sorority.

To the OP - if you're willing to pay for it on your own, I say go for it. It doesn't sound as though your parents will stop talking to you entirely if you join, so what's the difference? If you understand that your path might be a little more difficult, and you know you can swing it on your own, and you truly feel that you want to be a part of Greek life, then you should try to be a part of Greek life.

MysticCat 06-30-2013 09:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2223129)
The issue here has NOTHING to do with money or graduating debt-free. The issue here has to deal with overly controlling parents.
Realistically, the issue has to do with all of the above.

33girl 06-30-2013 06:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticCat (Post 2223155)
Realistically, the issue has to do with all of the above.
I just meant that in the sense of this sounds like the tip of the iceberg with the parents saying "if you do ____ or don't do ______ we will withhold _____."

Missouri Ivy 07-01-2013 07:08 PM
Best wishes to you. You seem like a very mature young woman.

pinkandpearls 08-30-2013 05:15 PM
.

WhiteDaisy128 08-30-2013 05:19 PM
I joined a colony my junior year and it was a wonderful experience. It's a neat opportunity to mold the group and a good opportunity for instant leadership.

Can't wait to hear the rest. Good luck.

KSUViolet06 09-04-2013 11:52 PM
^^^To be fair, the same could be said if you were at an event for an established sorority (re: the "everyone is so different" and "how do we ever find things in common?" comments. Trust me, you would find people who share your interests. This is especially true at schools where chapters are rather large (like 75+.)

gatordeltapgh 09-04-2013 11:58 PM
Get a good night's sleep. Things always seem more clear the next day.

The folks on the ground from "the colony" will be looking at the mix as well. Remember, they want to get off to a great start on your campus. I will also say that different types of women can be a great thing. You can't have all of xyz type or abc type and be successful. Balance is the key and the great thing is that the women invited to membership will create the future for the chapter as they work together.


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